


Man in the Wilderness

by OneHundredSuns



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Blood and Gore, Bottom Castiel, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2015, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, End of the World, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gore, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Mentions of Past Dean/Lydia, Monsters, Oral Sex, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Purgatory, Protective Dean Winchester, Purgatory, Sex, Twins, Vampires, Violence, Wings, adorable kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 22:19:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 68,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5107709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneHundredSuns/pseuds/OneHundredSuns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is fresh out of Purgatory along with every other Tom, Dick and Wendigo that called the cesspool home. As the monsters lay waste to the Earth and eat anything they can get their hands on, Dean sets out to find his only remaining family so that they can hunker down and fight the assholes head on. He doesn’t mean to stumble upon Castiel Novak and his adorable twins in the middle of the apocalypse and he sure as hell doesn’t mean to offer them a ride to wherever they are trying to get to. But the world is a dangerous place now and he’s always been a sucker for blue eyes and cute kids. So he’ll help them out and just hope it doesn’t get him or them killed in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Very special thanks to my amazing cheerleaders; Jessica and Becky for reading this monster and keeping me on track, giving their wonderful opinions and saying it was good even if it’s not :P. Also thanks to the wonderful Rosie for letting me pick her brain about the military and the guns they use. 
> 
> And a very big thank you to the lovely arnica who drew me some seriously gorgeous art--(which you will be able to find within the fic)--please go and tell her how amazing it is! I want to thank everyone who reads or comments or kudos; I really appreciate it. Thank you!

[Art Masterlist](http://arnica.livejournal.com/181838.html)

Chapter One

The pickup truck had been ancient when he’d found it tipped over in a ditch, blood smeared along the driver’s side but it had a tank full of gas and keys still in the ignition so he hadn’t complained. You couldn’t be picky nowadays especially if you didn’t want to walk everywhere. So he’d jumped inside and for about one hundred miles across the quaint state of Kansas it had carried him, sometimes slowly but never needing anything more than a fuel top up. It kind of sucked that a blown radiator hose was the thing to finally do it in. But Dean Winchester had decided to look at it as a gift the moment he laid eyes on the vintage car lot. Or rather what was left of it.

The building was almost completely destroyed on the left side; the brick singed black from flames. The walls had tipped inwardly creating a sort of open barrier meaning you could get inside but it wouldn’t be easy. And there was a chance you’d end up stepping on something unfortunate while trying. The windows that were still intact somehow managed to remain mostly clean but his keen eyesight could see smudged fingerprints and spots of red. No one ever really noticed but human blood had a very distinct sheen to it that made it very unique. It also smelled sharper but that was beside the point.

Tilting his head to the side, he listened for any sign of life but heard nothing, not even insects. That had taken some getting used to but now the silence was actually preferred over the screams and howls of creatures lurking in the darkness. He could hear himself think and didn’t have to be on guard 24/7 if he played his cards right. Not to mention there were actual hiding places now, good ones instead of dank holes and dead hollow trees.

Jerking his dirty duffle higher onto his shoulder and clutching the handle of the machete in his right hand, Dean frowned and slowly made his way past several cars with slashed tires and broken windshields. _What a waste_ he thought to himself, kicking at deep claw marks set in the metal of a Chevrolet. He knew they were supposed to be old and restored but some looked new to him because he’d never seen them before. The last vehicle he remembered being inside—before the truck—had been a 1944 cobalt blue Oldsmobile. 

You heard stories about the way the world had changed, about things like dvd players and cell phones but his mind could have never filled in the blanks properly. Seeing that shit even if there was no real time to mess around with it or no electricity was still trippy as hell. Made him wish he could have been there to see it all as it happened. As it were all he could do now was read old magazines and collect whatever caught his eye to fiddle with when he was hunkered down. It wasn’t much but he’d learned quite a bit and had even picked up some modern slang.

Anything to help him fit in with the people he might unfortunately come across.

Dean scratched at his scruffy cheek and passed a row of hot red convertibles and Mustangs, almost stopping at one until a beast of a sleek black machine came into view. It was nestled at the end of the row and untouched except for a bit of dirt. He whistled and smoothed a hand along it, walking quickly to the driver side door and nearly fist pumping at finding it unlocked. Tossing his bag into the backseat, he slipped under the wheel and got comfortable. A tiny card sitting on the dashboard proclaimed it was a 1967 Chevy Impala.

“Sixty-seven must have been a good year.” He mused aloud. Now, where were the keys?

He supposed he could just hot wire it but the thought of doing so honestly made him cringe. She’d been through so much already; he really didn’t want to start ripping into her. They’d only just met after all. His eyes tracked to the building in the rearview mirror and he knew it was stupid but that didn’t stop him from climbing out of the car and making his way inside anyway through what was left of the front door. But you know sometimes Dean could be impulsive and act without thinking. That was just who he was and he wouldn’t say it had served him right over the years but it had kept him alive…in a manner of speaking. Now that he was one hundred percent back amongst the living he wanted to _live_. He wanted to experience new things and drive a nice car, and if he had to kill an asshole to do it then so be it.

Thankfully however the area was empty, only the stench of death and disemboweled bodies hanging around but neither of those had any effect on him anymore. Finding the keys should be pretty easy although it was a total disaster inside. Desks overturned, chairs smashed and muddy footprints stained almost every surface. There was something black spattered against the wall with bits of what had to be dried flesh streaked along it. When following it he found what looked like a charred carcass slumped in the corner, leftover skin a wormy blue with several rotten teeth showing. It looked like a Rugaru but he was only about ninety-five percent sure of course. It was burned way too badly.

Though now the legless corpse outside dangling from the marquee made more sense. As did the meager set up of sleeping bag and shotgun against the far office door. Dean guessed he must have bunkered down here when shit starting going tits up, either because it was sturdy or to keep an eye on his precious cars. It was such a human thing, putting materials above common sense and fat lot of good it had done him in the end. Something hungry and fast with sharp claws and big jaws had batted him around like a chew toy before chowing down, leaving nothing but junk parts. Like with a chicken.

And after it was full some asshole with thumbs had most likely came along and strung the poor bastard up just because. A trophy signifying the new world.

Pushing a large oak desk out of his way, he stepped on a gold name plate that read _Zachariah Adler_ and searched through a few drawers for keys. Finding nothing, he huffed and turned his attention to a square lockbox tucked to the very back of the only shelf still standing in the room. He grabbed it up and flexed his fingers, holding it tight as the metal creaked and became red hot in his hands to the point where it was dripping to the floor in sizzling clumps. 

Once the box was more or less destroyed he picked through the array of car keys until he found the one he needed. Happy at his stroke of luck he hurried back outside to where the Impala was waiting.

In seconds he was roaring out of the parking lot and saluting the flapping body, settling in for a long drive.

If Dean had been a decent sort of guy he probably would have cut the dude down and gave him a proper burial but there was really no point. From what he’d seen on his travels through countless towns and a few cities, it was pretty much the same everywhere. Ripped open bodies left to rot in the sun, the hollowed out remains of what used to be happy homes and total destruction as far as the eye could see. And his eyes could see pretty damn far. It should have been horrifying and it was but not a lot, not to him. In fact it was more normal than he wanted to let on. Almost like home. He supposed technically it was just like home considering what had happened.

In his mind he thought of it as a merge since that’s how it seemed. One minute he’d been hunting in Purgatory—because if you weren’t the hunter you were the hunted—and the next he’d been laying in a cornfield staring up at a too bright blue sky. Purgatory didn’t have blue skies; everything was muted in shades of gray. It was where monsters went to spend eternity. Neither a Heaven nor a Hell it just was. Every day the same and if you didn’t exist there then you didn’t exist anywhere. 

At first it had been hard to do anything, to find shelter or weapons but after a while he got the hang of it. Had been slashing a red path through vampire and werewolf alike for many years when a massive tremor tore the place apart and sent everything spilling out onto Earth. How that happened he had no idea but it was what it was. He wouldn’t lie, it was freaking liberating to be in the real world again after so long of dark forests and the smell of death. No doubt the others that were now wreaking havoc thought the same thing. It was good to feel the sun again even if you were too busy eating some guy’s spleen.

Not that he did that because he didn’t. He didn’t hurt humans if he could help it. In fact he pretty much kept to himself just like he’d done in Purgatory with the exception of a vampire named Benny. But that was only because Benny had been a nosy son of a bitch and refused to leave him alone no matter how much he’d yelled for it. He didn’t know where Benny was now though. Probably just out there somewhere trying to make heads or tails of all the bullshit.

Dean wasn’t in as much danger as some random Joe because of what he was, but he also wasn’t invincible so he had to be smart about getting around. Hence needing something to drive and the weapons. In another life he would have relished the thought of getting out of Purgatory and learning about how the world had evolved, but that ship had sailed. Still it was a bummer—he’d kind of wanted to learn more about this Internet deal. It’s all the new monsters talked about when they arrived.

For two and a half months he’d been roaming the world in one vehicle or another with no real destination in mind. Finding his little brother was a constant hum in the back of his brain but that was a long shot, and he needed to get his bearings first. Supplies and food were at the top of the list along with clothes and things to keep him occupied so that his mind didn’t focus on the bad things. Staying away from _everything_ and every _one_ was next. Oh he’d attempted to do the _right_ thing in the very beginning. Help people when he could but as time went on, people got meaner and after a while it was hard to tell them and the monsters apart. After a couple of assholes pretended to be in danger so they could try and steal his guns he promptly decided fuck it. He was obviously better off alone.

Not to mention although he looked human he very much wasn’t and if discovered he ran the risk of getting his head blown off. Well they would try and fail, but getting shot still hurt like a bitch.

Turning on the radio filled the inside with nothing but static in some stations and dead air in others so he clicked it off. Cracked the window and pressed down hard on the gas, listened as the engine purred and the tires ate up the pavement. If only he could keep doing this forever. Just go from place to place with no real point. If being in Purgatory for over fifty years had taught him anything, it was that stopping got you into trouble. Even something as simple as bending down to wash your face in a river could end with your head on a stick.

Just because the road looked clear didn’t mean there weren’t _things_ lurking behind the tree line. In his experience the faster they were the better they could hide until it was too late. Until they were on you, digging in to get at your juicy center. As skilled as he was now with handling those kinds of assholes he hadn’t always been. He had his scars.

And now every fucked up nightmare a person could think of was roaming the all you could eat Earth buffet. Monsters had always been around but it was different now. There were more of them and they saw no need to lay low or scavenge for scraps. From what the news reports had said before power became spotty, they were barging into houses and attacking everything alive inside. State of emergency was declared all over, soldiers were sent out but how did you stop something that simply shrugged off your bullets? Well, you didn’t.

They didn’t.

He on the other hand knew more than a few tricks to deal with assholes that went bump in the night. 

Glancing to the time he sighed. It didn’t matter so much anymore but he liked that the hands moved, that the hours had meaning again. His watch was old—a gift from his father a _long_ time ago—and he’d been wearing it the night he found himself in Purgatory. From that moment on it had not ticked a single tock which was weird because naturally time _moved_. It wasn’t 1944 anymore, it was 2015. Yet to be honest he was pretty sure he’d been in that hell hole for a whole lot longer than seventy-one years.

In truth Dean did not exactly know if he could say he was _out_ since technically Purgatory was all around him. Perhaps in a shiny new package with better food but all the same threats were around. Spread out and a bit easier to deal with if you knew how but those were like, small mercies. Not even if you considered how new terrain meant adapting on both sides with their side usually being better at it.

With his mind working aimlessly and the ride smooth, several hours passed before Dean realized they had. The gas tank was still pretty full but he grabbed at his map anyway, trying to find out where he was so that he could look for a gas station. It never hurt to have more than was needed and sometimes he stumbled across one that hadn’t been completely raided. He could stock up on power bars and maybe—just maybe—find some damn pie. Sure it would be a couple of months old but even stale pie beat no pie at all. One day he’d find an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere and make all the pie he could eat.

_Maybe by then I’ll have found Sam too…_

As the Impala rounded a bend going eighty in a fifty mile per hour zone, he spotted an ugly yellowish blob on four wheels and a big black truck parked behind a ways ahead. His first instinct was to go faster but instead he slowed down just in case someone ran out into the middle of the road for help. He wasn’t going to stop but he didn’t want to hit anyone either. By the time he was close enough to see faces he realized three men were basically shaking down another, shoving the fourth back and forth between them before striking out. It was fucked up but he’d seen this shit before. Apparently common decency meant nothing when old cans of beans were at state.

And people had called _him_ a monster.

He couldn’t _not_ look when he was finally close enough to cruise on by. Pretending nothing was happening just seemed wrong though the three idiots with all of the power didn’t even stop or turn towards him. In fact he idly wondered if they would finish with his poor dude and then come after him sometime later. _That’ll be interesting._ No instead the only bald guy tossed the driver of the ugly car onto the concrete and stood on his chest while his two friends ransacked his vehicle. He tried to fight back but baldy had at least sixty pounds on him.

Dean rolled his eyes and kept going; people didn’t used to be so fucking horrible. Not near his end anyway. Maybe when he’d been a child but the world was a harsher place then. And it wasn’t just a few people but everyone acted sort of like a dick. Back then being a dick was normal.

There wasn’t any guilt on his part as he continued on his way. He’d seen people in danger before but ignored it. Remorse was more or less beat out of you in Purgatory. You came to understand the weak died and the strong survived. Maybe if that man had been stronger he wouldn’t have ended up at the mercy of others. Either way Dean figured it was none of his business.

It was none of his business…yet he had to look in the goddamn rearview mirror only to wish he hadn’t. A little round face stared back at him streaked with tears while a second pressed against the back driver side door, tiny fists beating the window. He knew right then and there he was going to stop. Fighting it would just be stupid.

_Kids? Why did it have to be fucking kids?_

Growling, Dean slammed on the brakes so fast he nearly got whiplash. He threw the car into reverse and backed up until he was about fifteen feet from the truck, cutting the engine and shoving the keys into the pocket of his leather jacket. Dragging a hand across his face, he opened the door and stepped out but left his weapons. Just having one in hand would make him want to kill and he was trying so hard to tame that beast Purgatory created. No doubt it would flare up around morons.

“Hey.” He barked eying baldy. “What’s going on?”

“None of your damn business.” Baldy replied with a sick grin. “Unless you wanna lose that mighty fine automobile you’re driving, you’ll get the fuck outta here.”

Dean arched a brow. Their clothes showed no visible bulges so he guessed they weren’t armed.  
“I tell you what. If you can take it from me, you can have it free and clear.” 

Baldy’s two friends looked between each other, one a tall black guy wearing a dirty baseball cap and brown fisherman’s jacket and the other a bulky white dude in a plaid shirt and denim jacket. He had a square shaped head and it made Dean snort to himself.

“What are you? A cop or something?” Baldy inquired suspiciously.

“Or something.” Dean mused. “Or maybe I’m just a decent person that doesn’t like when dickheads take advantage of others. The world is ending and you’re robbing a guy with two kids? Really?”

Square head snickered and took a step forward. “Well you know what they say; only the strong survive.”

The black man sighed. “Steve, Roy let’s just go. This asshole is probably just spoiling for a fight or something.”

Steve aka square head smirked. “We could do that, Reggie. _Or_ we could kick his ass and take his car. I’m tired of riding with you two dumbasses. I want my own set of wheels.”

Dean rolled his shoulders and planted his feet. Alright maybe he was kind of craving a fight but it had been a long time since he’d bloodied his knuckles. Besides he said he wouldn’t kill them, not that he wouldn’t beat the shit out of them. “Whenever you’re ready, shit head. Unless you wanna talk some more about your _feelings_ and maybe cry a little.”

As usual that did the trick and Steve lunged at him, meaty arms going around his waist to try and tackle him to the ground. Dean grunted and slammed his elbow into the middle of Steve’s back, making him cry out and loosen his grip. He then jerked his knee up, connecting with Steve’s nose and breaking it on contact. Steve yelped and Dean swerved him around by the neck before throwing him off onto the side of the road. He rolled over into the ditch and tried to get himself together, blood dribbling down his chin. Seeing what happened to his friend spurred Roy into action and he immediately forgot about the guy he was standing on to start throwing punches.

Dean caught his fist and squeezed hard enough to break three of his fingers. As Roy howled and started to sink to his knees, Dean punched him violently in the face several times, driving him backwards until he was almost falling into the bed of his truck. His right eye was almost closed shut and his bottom lip busted open. He was also missing his one of his front teeth but Dean figured that could have had nothing to do with him.

Flexing his fingers, he turned to Reggie. “You wanna go too? Because I’m just getting started.”

There was defiance in Reggie’s eyes and he probably would have tried his luck but for some reason he thought better of it. He urged Roy around to the passenger side of the truck and hurried over to help Steve up, ignoring his cursing and demands to _make that son of a bitch pay_. Instead Reggie shoved him into the bed of the truck, shut the gate and jumped behind the wheel.

“This ain’t over!” Steve shouted as they drove away. “Next time I see you I’m gonna fucking kill you! Do you hear me!”

Dean gave a little wave. “I look forward to it.” When the idiots were a safe distance away and he was sure they weren’t going to turn around for a sneak attack, he glanced to those that were left.

The driver of the butt ugly yellow car was slouched against its side with both kids—a little boy and a little girl—cowering beside him. His cheek looked puffy and there were already signs of bruising on his bottom lip but he’d survive. He was in a damn sight better shape than Steve and his buddies.

“Thank you.” He said with a deep and gravelly voice. “Thank you so much.”

“Thank you.” The kids murmured in unison, still sniffling and obviously scared.

Dean nodded. “No problem.” _Time to walk away now._ Shoving his hands into his pocket and fiddling with his key cars, he stared at the road and started backing up towards the Impala. He’d done his part.

“Cassie what are we gonna do now?” Asked the little girl, bright blonde hair falling out of her already messy ponytail. “Are you too hurt to move?”

 _Cassie_ smiled softly and kissed her forehead. “It’s okay Claire. We’ll figure something out. I—I just need a moment to get my wits about me. Then we shall take stock of what we have left and figure out what to do next.”

Claire pointed to the back tire and the nasty slash across it. “But that guy messed up our car. And—and he hit the front window and broke it!”

The boy whimpered, strands of floppy brown hair falling across his forehead. “Those men were so mean! Why did they do that to you? I thought people were ‘sposed to be nice.” He rubbed at his big blue eyes. “They weren’t nice…”

 _Fuck._ Dean’s head lolled back and he stared at the sky, jaw tightening at the thoughts coursing through his brain. He wanted to leave. He wanted to drive far away and never, _never_ think about any of this again but kids, man. _Kids_ had always been a weakness for him especially ones needing help. He had no idea where she was but his mom would kick his ass if he didn’t use some of that home training she’d bragged about to the neighbors.

And now that he was paying attention, yeah the car was fucked up. There was a big hole in the windshield and while it could probably still be driven, it wasn’t recommended. Plus the whole flat tire thing put the kibosh on that unless he had a spare. But who wanted to be out on the highway these days trying to change a tire? Hell the tire going flat was most likely how the guys got the drop on them in the first place.

“You don’t have to stay.” 

Dean blinked and realized _Cassie_ was talking to him. “What?”

The stranger gestured to the Impala. “You’ve already done more than anyone else would in your situation. We’ll be fine.”

Dean scuffed at the concrete. “Yeah. I’m sure you were about to open up a can of whoop ass on those jerks before I got here.” Pause. “And even if you were…whatever.” He reached out a hand and tried to look non-threatening. “I’m Dean Winchester.”

Very slowly the man on the ground took his hand and let himself be hauled up. “I am Castiel Novak and this is Claire and Inias.”

“Twins?”

“Yes.”

Crouching down to their level, Dean smiled what he hoped was a charming smile. “Hey guys. You two were brave as hell with what was going on earlier. I’m sure if you’d been a little bigger you would’ve jumped in, yeah?”

Claire eyed him warily as if sizing him up. “I wanted to kick one of them,” she admitted. “But mama always said kicking was bad.”

“Kicking _is_ bad but some people deserve it.” Dean shrugged. “And those dudes? They deserved everything they got and more.” He looked to Castiel. “No offense but why were you out here like this anyway? Where were you headed?”

“The place where we were staying became compromised so we had to leave. There was a radio transmission about a week ago alerting to a safe house with food and military protection. Considering our situation I thought it best to head there than simply keep driving around with no clear destination in mind.” Castiel explained as he surveyed the damage to his vehicle. “However I did not foresee…complications. Or looters.”

Dean wanted to tell him that he should have but it was none of his business. “How about I take you and your kids to this safe house? Even _I’m_ not the kinda asshole that would just leave you out here in the shape you’re in.”

Castiel wet his lips and although he tried to hide it, his expression swelled with relief. “I—you’ve already done so much. I couldn’t ask—”

Waving a hand, Dean made a face. “Hey I’m offering, alright? So grab your crap and get in the car before I change my mind.” Not waiting for a reply, he stomped back to the Impala and threw himself inside.

_This is a bad idea. Worse than teaching Sammy to gamble._

Just as he was turning the key in the ignition, Castiel and his kids climbed inside with their measly bounty of things. The twins settled nicely in the backseat, rubbing their little hands along the leather and struggling to see out of the windows. They stretched out their arms to measure the space between them and Dean rolled his eyes without any heat to keep from smiling. But hey, whatever took their minds off what they’d witnessed earlier.

Castiel on the other hand gingerly leaned back in his seat and rubbed his chest. “Dean I’d like to thank you again for all of your help. I wish there was something I could do to repay you.”

Dean waited until they were moving to say, “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t help because I thought I’d get something out of it. I helped because you needed it. And it’s not like you have anything I want anyway. I’m good at getting that sort of stuff by myself.”

Castiel stared at him. “Do you do that a lot? Go around helping people in need I mean.”

“Not as much as I should.” Dean tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “Getting involved—not really my thing. I tend to keep to myself.”

“I suppose that makes use even luckier that you stopped to assist us.” Castiel unfolded his tan overcoat and spread it across his lap. “So thank you again.”

Such sincere praise made Dean squirm and he grunted in response, wishing he could turn on the radio for some noise. But thankfully the twins started to murmur to each other about how his car was so much better than the other one, so he let their chatter fill the otherwise slightly awkward silence. He would never say it out loud but it was nice to not be alone, although he knew it wouldn’t be easier. He might even come to regret his decision but the alternative was barbaric. Leaving someone to die was what one did in Purgatory and if he was truly out then…shit had to change.

Or maybe he was just delirious and needed one of those nasty ass granola bars stashed in his bag.

Absently his eyes tracked to his knuckles and the red stains, causing his mind to drift back to less pleasant things. In Purgatory he would often find himself covered in some type of filth or grime. Splattered brains and the blood of whatever dick thought it would test him. Changing clothes hadn’t been an option so every few weeks or so he’d jumped in the river to do what he could but the dirt never seemed to _really_ go away. It wasn’t that he minded now he just, well now that he could be clean he took advantage of it.

That and blood always tended to be the hardest to get out.

Without really thinking about it he glanced at Castiel who was staring rather peacefully out of the window. Being what he was, well he didn’t put much stock into the gender of the person he found attractive. When you were basically immortal there was no real point to be honest. Earlier in life he’d had to abide by the _rules_ of the time he was living in so things with dudes were in secret, but there had been dudes as well as ladies. So he could appreciate how hot Castiel was. Ruffled dark hair like he’d been rolling around in bed and wide blue eyes, so blue they almost looked unnatural. All that coupled with his sexy voice and you were talking about the total package.

Not that he had time for that kind of thing. Okay he had _time_ but the _timing_ was bad.

_Dude probably has a wife out there anyway. Not like the stork brought those two munchkins in the back. However if he did have a wife something must have happened to her. Otherwise where was she? Unless he’s looking for her…_

Dean knew something about missing people.

“So…” Castiel cleared his throat a few moments later. “Where are you from?”

“Kansas. You?” Dean could do small talk.

“Pontiac, Illinois.” Castiel replied. “I was—I was at school when everything changed.”

Curious as to how it was on the other side, Dean nodded. “What was it uh, what was it like? I mean from where you were.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side. “At first I assumed it was an earthquake but then the sky grew so dark it was almost like when there was a solar eclipse. It all just seemed extremely irregular. And then there was this—this high pitched screeching noise.” He released a shuddering breath. “A few days later the attacks started all over the globe.”

 _Yeah, when all the inmates realized a jailbreak had taken place._ “Mm. Least you and your kids managed to survive. That takes guts and a lot of smarts.”

Castiel shrugged. “Perhaps. Though we didn’t do anything more or less that other people didn’t do. Sometimes I wonder why we were spared.”

Before Dean could answer a tiny blonde head popped between the seats. “Cassie! We’re hungry.”

Dean arched a brow. “Why do they call you Cassie? Did _daddy_ go out of style?”

Smirking, Castiel reached down and gently motioned for Claire to sit back. “I’m their Uncle, actually. My sister Hannah always called me Cassie and as they got older they picked it up as well.” Biting his bottom lip, he exhaled deeply. “I’m sorry but those men took all of our food. I’ll get you something as soon as I can, okay?”

Claire pouted. “Stupid men.”

Snorting, Dean gestured to his bag. “Look in there and get some of the power bars or whatever they are called. _Do not_ touch anything else.”

With tiny fingers she unzipped his duffle and rooted inside, pulling out three energy bars. “Yay you got starberry! Inias, here you can have the blueberry.” She handed his over happily. “Thank you Mr. Dean!”

Inias smelled his. “Thank you Mr. Dean.”

The third bar sailed up front and landed in Castiel’s lap. He chuckled but tore it open. “Yes thank you Dean. And it’s _straw_ berry, Claire-bear.”

“Strrrrrrrawberry.” She said in a sing song voice, rolling her Rs. “Mr. Dean? Have you seen any of the monsters? Mama used to say they weren’t real but now they are.”

He cut his eyes to the rearview mirror. “Yeah I’ve seen a few.”

“Were you scared?”

“Honestly sweetheart, not much scares me anymore.”

“Me either. Well bugs do but I try to be brave ‘cuz I’m the oldest. By three whole minutes!”

“You’re practically an old lady.”

She giggled around a mouthful of food. “Yup.”

Inias—who was quieter or at least shyer—made a cute growl as he bit off a huge chunk of his snack. “I—I’m a little scared,” he whispered. “I don’t like monsters. I liked it better when they weren’t real.”

Dean could relate. “Hey ya know buddy not all monsters are bad. It’s just hard to know which is which sometimes.”

Claire’s eyes stretched wide. “Like Wolverine!” Inias laughed and she bounced a little. “Does that mean mermaids and fairies are real too ‘cuz I wanna see them.”

He’d never seen a mermaid but fairies were very real, and they could be glowy little assholes too. Of course he wasn’t going to say that and crush her dreams. “Anything is possible.” It was then he noticed Castiel watching him quietly with a tender expression, eyes almost fond. “What?”

Castiel didn’t look away. “You’re good with children.”

 _Oh._ “Anyway uh, where is this safe house?”

Stifling a yawn, Castiel returned to eating. “Lincoln, Nebraska.”

“Lincoln, Nebraska it is then.”

~+~

Although he tried his best to stay awake, Castiel Novak succumbed to exhaustion due to the smoothness of the ride. Now that he wasn’t driving or having to be alert 24/7 the tiredness of his body had finally caught up to him, and he slipped under quite peacefully. He probably would have continued to doze for a while longer if a small hand hadn’t started tugging on the sleeve of his t-shirt. He jerked awake and immediately took stock of his surroundings, relaxing when he realized everything was okay. And then he was wiping at his face hoping that he hadn’t been drooling.

Sitting up, he gave his niece his full attention. “Yes?”

She lifted up onto her knees. “Inias and I gotta go potty.”

He was tempted to ask if they could hold it but didn’t. Had they been alone he would have stopped, as dangerous as it might have been. But some things you needed to do outside of a moving vehicle, at least when you were five years old. “Dean…I hate to ask but…” 

Dean grunted and pulled over once they reached a small group of trees, cutting the engine. “Yeah yeah. When nature calls you got to go. Wait here and I’ll make sure it’s safe.”

As he exited the car Castiel squinted and tried to make heads or tails of the enigma that was Dean Winchester. He appeared to be a slightly hardened man, one that had most likely seen his fair share of horrible things. And yet here he was going above and beyond for strangers he’d just met. He’d fought off those terrible men like it was the easiest thing in the world and was completely unruffled by it. Perhaps he’d been a soldier before the world ended. Or maybe just adaptable. Whatever it was Castiel was so thankful he’d decided to stop and help them.

It wasn’t that Castiel couldn’t fight because he could. However he’d been worried that if he’d retaliated the twins might have been caught in the crossfire. To keep them safe he would have taken any beating those idiots saw fit to give him. Next time though he was going to be more proactive in his own defense…if it came to that. If the safe house was what it was advertised that sort of thing wouldn’t be needed. All he would have to do was pull his own weight and hoped they had enough space for him and the children.

His children.

Above anything else he just wanted to keep them safe and honor his sister’s last wish. But he realized he wasn’t cut out for this new life of running and hiding from creatures that weren’t even supposed to exist. Before the sky darkened that day he’d been a Professor of Theology, spending his days in rapt debates with his students and his nights watching television, or on the odd occasion going out with friends. The worst he’d had to worry about was finding mold in his basement. Now he had to worry about everything.

While he would never say because naturally he had to be strong for the twins, he was secretly terrified of keeping them safe. One wrong move and they could be ripped away from him just like his poor sister and brother in law. If he lost them he would have nothing left.

Sighing, he noticed Dean waving him over and figured the area must be secure. “Okay guys come on. We don’t want to linger too long.”

As usual Claire was the first out of the car, pink shoes lighting up as she ran for the trees. She was an impulsive little thing, pushing forward a shield of bravery that he knew wasn’t as completely solid. She was just a child after all but he got the feeling she was actually trying to help him. Inias was much more skittish, always had been, and in an odd way he got the sense she was being braver to combat his nerves. It was adorable and also tremendously heartwarming. And perhaps, a little sad.

Dean kept his eyes on the road while Claire did her business behind some bushes but it was clear he was standing watch, one hand tucked behind him discreetly. The sun was behind him casting his long shadow forward and highlighting his dirty blonde hair almost like a halo. He was a very good looking man, gorgeous in most corners with features that complimented each other so perfectly; chiseled jaw and pouty lips. Balthazar would have said he had model good looks and called him pretty, and he wouldn’t have been wrong.

_I hope you are safe my friend, wherever you are._

“All done!” Claire announced as she skipped up to stand beside Dean.

Castiel patted Inias on the head. “Do you want me to come with you?”

His nephew nibbled on his bottom lip but shook his head. “No I’m okay. Stay where I can see you?”

Castiel nodded. “Of course.” While Inias walked slowly to the bushes, eyes darting around nervously, he sidled up next to Dean. “I wasn’t going to ask because I figured it wasn’t my place but, are you alright? In general.”

Dean blinked. “Just peachy.”

Deciding not to pry, Castiel hoisted Claire up into his arms when she pawed at him. “I have a theory about what happened.”

“Yeah?” Dean folded his arms over his chest. “What’s that?”

“Have you ever heard of Purgatory?” When Dean shook his head slowly, he continued. “Well in some texts—most notably the Roman Catholic doctrine— it’s where the souls of sinners go to do penance before being allowed into Heaven. The caveat being one has to have been in a state of grace first. In any case it is another plane different from this one that supposedly housed supernatural beings...if you wish to think of the spirit as a supernatural being.” A beat. “But what if instead of being this holding cell of fire and pain that one must go through before they are fit for Heaven, it’s some was type of universe for things we couldn’t possibly begin to understand. This is all conjecture of course from different sources and ancient texts somewhat discredited, but it makes a bit of sense. These creatures didn’t simply pop into being over night. So even if that doesn’t make sense they still _had_ to manifest from a different dimension.”

“You don’t think they’re from Hell then?” Dean questioned.

“No. They aren’t demons, they are monsters. _True_ monsters and regardless of how things are there has been no sign the Rapture is upon us. I suppose Hell could be made up of monsters and demons but if like you said not all of the monsters are evil then…” He trailed off. “It’s just an odd theory anyway. Something I thought about to pass the time. Force of habit due to my old job. I do wish there was a way to reverse it…”

Dean hummed absently. “Yeah. You and everyone else I bet.”

It was then Castiel found himself wondering about Dean’s background. Did he have a family out there that he was searching for? Or had tragedy struck and now he was simply trying to get away? “Yes. In the meantime we’ll just have to stay strong and hope someone is looking out for us.”

Green eyes framed by long lashes rolled. “You make it sound so easy.”

He knew it wasn’t. “I know it is the opposite but I try to remain optimistic for...” He gestured to Claire perched on his hip, head resting on his shoulder.

The leaves rustled and Inias rejoined them, pulling at his jeans but none the worse for wear. “That feels a lot better.”

Dean snickered. “What about you, Cas? You gotta go potty too?”

Castiel considered lying but to what end? He would only end up suffering for it later. “I do.” Putting Claire down, he hesitated. “I—”

“Dude just go. I won’t let anything happen to your _posse_.” Dean threw him a grin. “I’m getting you to that safe house intact.”

 _I believe you._ “Okay.” He was halfway to the bushes when he called back, “I’m glad we met, Dean. It’s nice not to feel so lonely anymore.”

Dean didn’t answer but that was alright. As long as he was still there when Castiel returned, he didn’t have to say anything at all.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Little by little the sun started to dip in the sky and Castiel felt the familiar twist of nerves settle in his stomach once again. Daytime was difficult because not all of the monsters were confined to the shadows but at least things were easier to see. If you were vigilant and kept to the bright sunlight there was a chance you’d be safe. Or _safer_ depending on where you were spending your time and who you were with. But after the sun went down it became a free for all, and all of the tiny noises once common turned into loud harbingers of doom. That was how he saw it anyway.

Nighttime was horrific on so many levels, made worse because the twins were still scared of the dark on principle and yet now they knew they had good reason to be. They were young but they realized the world wasn’t what it used to be. And not even a large round full moon that made it look like a summer’s night changed that. In fact now the full moon just brought with it more monsters. Perhaps if they hadn’t been so hard to kill but the majority were. Most laughed at bullets and unfortunately—as humans—they relied on guns as their most powerful hand to hand weapons. Knives were fine but no one wanted to get close enough to try to use one and have it ultimately fail.

So as the light slowly began to fade away and the day turned to dusk, Castiel found himself trying to be more alert. The twins were curled up together in the backseat napping peacefully and he hoped they slept for as long as they could. Things like bedtimes and such meant nothing anymore although sometimes he would chastise himself for not sticking to some sort of schedule. Give them a bit of routine to maybe take their minds off of everything. However he figured no amount of routine could make up for the horrors they were being exposed to. Safety meant more than going to bed at the same time each night.

Sighing deeply, he pinched the bridge of his nose and slouched in his seat. He caught a glimpse of his refection in the side mirror and frowned, tongue slipping out to prod at the purple slit in his bottom lip. There was soreness from his altercation with those men but he knew it could be much worse. They could have broken bones—he didn’t even want to _think_ about how he would have went about setting them so they healed properly.

There was just _so much_ to the world that you couldn’t fathom you’d miss until it was gone. So many tiny conveniences picked up over the years to make life more comfortable gone in the blink of an eye. Well not gone but he couldn’t see risking his life for tissues or hand sanitizer. He was just happy the twins were old enough to not need diapers or bottled milk. In all honestly he had no clue how he would be providing for them if they were infants.

“You okay?” Dean’s gruff voice shattered his melancholy thoughts. “Gotta piss again?”

Castiel chuckled softly. “No just—just thinking. Or rather dreading that the sun is setting.”

Dean glanced upwards and hummed. “Because you can’t see what’s coming for you in the dark?” At Castiel’s nod he shrugged. “These days even when the sun is shining you could still get your ass handed to you by something scary.”

Castiel looked at him. “Thank you for that lovely positive outlook.”

Dean grinned. “You know what I mean. But hey I get you. Things do have a way of looking fucked up at night.” He cut his eyes to the back. “Must be rough now that it’s true about monsters being real.”

Castiel did not think _rough_ was an apt enough word. “It’s—trying to stay alive is now one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. If things keep up this way I think the human race could find itself extinct.”

“I don’t think so.” Dean replied. “Maybe not as huge but people surprise you sometimes. I’m sure some look at it as just another war to be won. Besides this is the kinda shit that is supposed to make you stronger if it doesn’t kill you.”

“I don’t feel very strong.” Castiel turned his attention back out the window. “I feel disoriented and scared most of the time. I am just one man; how can I keep my family safe from all that lurks in the darkness?”

“You do the best that you can. You fight until your last breath and if it’s possible to fight from the grave, you do that too.” Dean’s jaw tightened. “Giving up is when it’s all over. Laying down and letting some asshole get the jump on you? That’s when you lose everything. Respect, the fight…all of it. You just gotta push through the fear, Cas. It won’t be easy but you’ll feel better when you come out on the other side.”

“It sounds like you are speaking from experience.” Castiel murmured. “But then I suppose you do. You look and carry yourself like a man that is used to winning the battles he fights.”

Dean’s fingers flexed on the steering wheel, one hand dropping down tap on his thigh while the other continued to control the car. “Maybe. I’m not afraid to do what I have to do to win if that’s what you’re getting at. It’s never steered me wrong before.”

There was conviction in his voice and Castiel admired it. Before the world up and went to Hell there wasn’t much he had to be certain about because his life was simple. Some people probably would have been bored to death but he wasn’t. He liked the mundane of teaching and spending time with the few people he cared about. The only undefined aspect of his life was romantic and he had always assumed when the time was right, he’d meet a good man and they would spend the rest of their lives together. The point was that he had not been worried about things such as _timing_ yet now he wondered if he should have been. Meeting and interacting with new people before had been awkward for him, now it would probably be nonexistent. 

But that was alright especially if the new people were like Steve and his friends.

_There will be people at the safe house._

The safe house. Hearing that broken message being repeated over and over on the AM radio station was like a godsend; the first bit of good news in quite a while. A chance to get off the road and have a _real_ sort of shelter. A place where trained men with weapons would look out for everyone and hopefully high walls or barbed fences would keep the creatures at bay. They promised food and clean water but resources were limited and after all of the rooms were filled they would be forced to turn people away. That was a week ago and Castiel just hoped—no he _prayed_ there was space left. He couldn’t imagine making it that far only to be rejected.

It was a win he desperately needed and not just for himself but for the twins as well. Inias and Claire needed to know that being safe wasn’t impossible anymore.

_I wonder if being a former educator would offer any type of security? If anyone still cares about children learning…_

The car began to slow so Castiel pulled himself back into the present and sat up straighter, eyes darting this way and that. Dean merged over onto the side of the road in front of a big green sign proclaiming _Troy, Kansas Population - 994_. A small town then. “Is something wrong?”

Dean kept his foot on the brake and reached into the back, pulling one of his duffles out of the large foot well to plop it into Castiel’s lap. He then riffled through it, taking out a sawed off shotgun and a pistol with an ivory handle. “Could be nothing. I just like to be prepared when I enter a town or whatever. You never know what might be just around the corner.”

Castiel’s eyes stretched wide at what he was able to catch a peak of. Several guns, knives, ammunition and an odd looking knife with what looked like a bone for a handle. “Where did you get all this?”

His new…friend— _could he call him that?_ —smirked. “Stole most of it. Well technically. I mean the stores were closed and I kicked in the glass doors so yeah. But having this shit is important. If you see a gun laying somewhere and you can get to it, take it. Trust me because you might need it later.”

Castiel pressed his lips together. “I was under the impression guns were sort of futile.”

Dean took out a black handgun and handed it to him. “It might not kill them but it could slow them down. Especially if you go for head shots.”

_And what does someone do who has terrible aim?_ “I—I’ve never handled a gun before.”

Dropping his bag back into the back, Dean motioned to the window. “Really all you do is point and shoot…and try not to shoot yourself in the foot.” And then he looked a bit anxious. “If anything screwed up comes close I’ll handle it. I just thought you’d feel better if you were armed.”

Wetting his lips, Castiel met his green eyes. He didn’t know how he felt about letting Dean take on any future threats by himself, though he also wasn’t sure what type of help he would be. “I do, thank you,” he said with a small smile. “Have you…had any close encounters with anything non human before?”

Dean eased back onto the road and at first Castiel thought he wasn’t going to answer. But a few moments later he exhaled deeply through his nose and responded. “More than I care to think about.”

The way his shoulders constricted with tension made Castiel want to offer some kind of support but he didn’t know what to say or do. They weren’t familiar enough. _Perhaps that could change._ “I’ve only bore witness to the destruction most left behind…but there was one whose eyes I saw as clear as day. It was like a shadow on the wall almost but with claws and burning yellow eyes…”

Dean moved his pistol to his lap, long fingers curling around the handle. “Hm. How didja get away?”

Castiel swallowed thickly and made sure the twins were still asleep. He didn’t want them hearing any of this, how badly it really was. “My sister actually. She—she sacrificed herself so that the children and I could escape.”

It was the one reoccurring nightmare that he frequently had but tried to hide from Inias and Claire. A few weeks after everything went wrong and the beasts were ripping their way through town and city alike, Castiel found himself on a supply run with a man he was sort of dating named Ion—a fellow professor. They had only been out three times but decided there was strength in numbers. Not to mention Ion had no family so he figured staying with Castiel and _his_ family just made sense. The neighborhood was nearly bare of people, most attempting to move on to safer places if they could. Hannah’s husband Ephraim didn’t want to risk it so they were staying put, barricading all of the doors and windows with whatever they could find. At that point they all hoped this was something that would just blow over; hoped or deluded themselves. In any case they had still needed food and supplies so Castiel and Ion volunteered to make the trek to the closest store.

While inside the mangled Rite-Aid _something_ spooked Ion so badly that he opened fire on a shelf of canned goods. In his hurry to get out he knocked Castiel down but simply kept running and that was the last Castiel ever saw of him. Turns out he had ran from a group of rats scurrying over bags of potato chips. At the time he could remember being livid over being left behind and yet it had also turned into a very valuable lesson; even to those you thought you knew you could be expendable.

Upon returning to Hannah’s house with his meager haul of stuff he’d found Ephraim first—or what was left of him—splattered across the living room floor. It looked as if something had tore him apart and dragged pieces of him all over the carpet, leaving his shoulders and upward by the grandfather clock in the corner. Castiel had barely resisted the urge to vomit and dashed up the stairs, calling out for Hannah and the twins. The odds of them having survived were so very rare and he had expected the worst, yet miraculously he’d discovered them hiding in a closet. With Hannah badly injured. She knew she wasn’t going to make it and after moving the bloody red towel from her abdomen he’d known as well but neither had said anything because of the kids.

And then Hannah had told him to go. To take Claire and Inias and _run_ because that thing was still lurking about, and it would kill them _all_ if they stayed. Logically it was the best course of action but he hadn’t wanted to go. He’d wanted to find another way, a way in which they all lived.

_“Cassie please.” Hannah had pleaded; skin pale and hands shaking. “You have to do this. Take Inias and Claire, please. For me. Protect them.”_

The twins barely had time to say good-bye after that; something had growled deep and dark from one of the other rooms. So with no other choice he’d taken the children and ran barely making it outside to his car when the pained screams started. He didn’t see his sister die but he’d glimpsed the thing that killed her. And to this day it haunted him.

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean whispered sincerely. “That shouldn’t have happened to you. Shouldn’t happen to anyone.”

Blinking slowly and realizing his eyes were wet, he quickly wiped at them. “I don’t think there is a person in this world that hasn’t been touched by the violence released from this other dimension…if that is what happened of course. It’s hard but I believe Hannah is in a better place. Or maybe I just have to believe it in order to carry on.”

“I think Heaven is real.” Dean muttered like he was angry at the idea. “And I think good _people_ go there. My dad is probably there giving them Hell, heh. And…others.”

“Did you lose your father recently?”

“No, a long time ago.”

“My parents didn’t survive the first wave of infestation. They were in an area hit hard by werewolves if I am not mistaken.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“Claire and Inias are all I have left.”

Dean reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “You and your kids are going to make it to that safe house, Cas. So don’t even worry about that. I got you.”

Castiel couldn’t resist, he grabbed Dean’s wrist and just held it for a minute. “I fear thanking you is becoming a bit redundant. But I don’t know what else to say.”

Before Dean could reply they were cruising through what used to be a pretty neighborhood but was now in shambles. Even the trees had been destroyed in some fashion with branches missing and bark shredded. They had to go slowly to avoid all of the overturned cars, some sitting in the middle of the street and others dumped onto front lawns. There were half eaten bodies hanging out of windows; a group of wild dogs fighting over one under some rose bushes. One of the side streets was blocked off by a barricade made out of household objects like washers and garbage disposals and whatever else could be found. A makeshift hospital tent had been long abandoned, crushed down the middle by down telephone poles and light lines.

And the debris. It almost looked like a tornado had roared through the area and split everything in two. 

_So many broken families. So much death and blood everywhere. It’ almost silly to hope that anyone didn’t perish—they all probably did. They’re all probably the lucky ones as well._

“Shit.” Dean cursed as they drove. “This place didn’t have a chance.”

“No.” Castiel’s stomach rolled unpleasantly. “It did not.”

Not looking wasn’t an option because every space and every yard was either torched or mangled. He was just supremely thankful that his niece and nephew were still asleep and not seeing what he and Dean were seeing. Though it did make him wonder about their state of mind and how they were _actually_ coping. Young brains had the capacity to handle immense horrors but everything had a breaking point. So far they weren’t having nightmares but it was probably just a matter of time, especially if they continued to be exposed to smashed bodies and bloody sidewalks.

Giving the vehicle more gas, Dean appeared to want out of Troy just as much as he did. “We should be in Lincoln in no time unless the road is blocked,” he explained as they passed _John’s Market_ or the now burnt out shell of _John’s Market_. “In a couple of hours you’ll have a new home.”

_Hopefully_. “What about you?”

Dean arched a brow. “What about me? You mean will I be hanging out at this safe house? Nah I…got stuff to do. And I don’t really play well with others.”

Castiel kept his face blank—he’d always been told he had an excellent poker face, for being such a horrid liar—but he wanted to hide his disappointment. It would have been nice to have Dean stay; a friendly face among the strangers. “You’ve been nothing but wonderful to us.”

The side of Dean’s mouth twitched with the ghost of a smile. “Okay I don’t play well with authority types. And this place will no doubt have dudes with guns who think they know better because once upon a time the government said they did. I’m attached to my guns, Cas. I don’t want some asshole trying to take them away “for my own good”.”

Smirking, Castiel nodded in amusement. “Perhaps if you proved to them how skilled you are they’d let you keep them. It would only help more people in the end.”

“Maybe.” Was Dean’s noncommittal reply. “The only people I’m helping right now though are you and the munchkins in the back. That’s my quota for the year.”

It was something that he’d mentioned in passing before; not exactly being gung ho about offering anyone the assistance they might need. It stood to reason he’d probably done so in the past and been burned. People weren’t as nice as they used to be. Instead of banding together and fighting back a great deal were fighting each other for the simplest resources. Castiel understood that fear that you wouldn’t have _enough_ of whatever you needed, but he could never imagine himself taking from someone weaker. He could never imagine doing what Steve and his friends had done.

But as unfortunate as it was to admit it when it came to the twins he would do what was necessary to protect them. He didn’t want the blood of another person on his hands and would fight hard to avoid it. However if it was unavoidable…

Well with any luck—

Dean slammed on brakes so suddenly the tires squealed causing Claire and Inias to startle awake. Castiel had to throw a hand out to keep from crashing into the dashboard. Next time he would wear his seatbelt.

“What the fuck?” Dean put the car in park and slowly climbed out, green eyes trained on the dip in the road ahead. 

“What’s the matta?” Claire asked through a yawn. “Are we in trouble?”

Castiel smoothed down her hair. “No sweetie we’re fine. Just stay here, okay? Look after your brother.” Satisfied that she would listen, he opened the door and leaned out. “What’s wrong?”

Dean thumbed to the road. “It’s a sinkhole.”

Leaving his door open Castiel edged around it and walked slowly to where the cracks began and the concrete buckled up. He’d only seen sinkholes on the news and they had been daunting enough, however seeing one in real life made his heart thump wildly in his chest. It didn’t look normal if he were being honest. Jagged and deep with no end in sight like the ones in photos but off; the smell wafting from inside enough to make him cover his mouth and nose.

_This is going to set us back._ “I wonder what made it? Could there be a creature this large in existence?”

Dean kicked a small rock into the gorge. “I don’t think so. But something strong enough crashing down could have made it. Like a meteor but not.” He scratched a hand over his scalp. “Good thing it’s not pitch black yet or we might have had a real serious problem on our hands.”

_Or died, especially from a drop of that height._ “What do we do now?”

Apparently weighing their options, Dean turned in a complete circle. “Well there are other routes of course but I didn’t want to be on the road after dark with passengers. When I’m alone I don’t give a shit but…” Trailing off, he climbed back into the car. “C’mon. We’ll find a place to park it until sunrise.”

Biting his bottom lip, Castiel couldn’t hide his trepidation with that plan. “I—will the two of us alone be able to fend off whatever might pop up?”

Once he was inside, Dean threw the car into reverse and backed up until he could swing the front end back the way they came. “We won’t have to ‘cause nothing is going to bother us. Trust me.”

That was easier said than done but Castiel supposed he had no real reason _not_ to trust him. It had not escaped his notice that Dean could have murdered him twice over since their meeting and yet he hadn’t. Obviously he was a decent man; he was just running like the rest of them.

For about an hour they drove and now that the children were awake the vehicle was once again filled with the sound of light conversation. Claire and Inias drew closer and closer towards the front seat the dimmer it got and by the time it was completely dark they were sitting between him and Dean. At first he’d tried to coax them back into the back promising they would be safe, but after the sad eyes turned to outright pouting he gave up. And thankfully Dean didn’t seem to mind. He was almost charmed at all of the questions Claire had about the different gauges and dials.

When Dean finally found a place he liked it turned out to be a small farmhouse at the end of a long dirt path that sat off alone. He pulled the Impala as close as he could to the porch and said he would check the area to make sure it was safe, leaving Castiel his shotgun. He could hear Dean thumping around inside of the house—probably on purpose, to rattle out anything that might be lurking in the dark rooms. There was no electricity due to the downed power lines but he assumed Dean had a flashlight and was using it to see.

He returned ten minutes later giving the all clear as well as getting his bags. And then he was leading them inside, closing and locking the door after they were safety standing in the living room. “Home sweet home…for tonight anyway.”

Inias asked around the thumb in his mouth, “Who lives here?”

Dean shrugged putting his things down. “Dunno buddy. But they aren’t here anymore. Anyway it’s safe and that is all that matters. Keep the curtains closed and stay away from the windows.” With lighter in hand, he lit whatever candle he spied sitting around. “These were already here so might as well use them.”

In seconds the shadows were chased away by muted glowing yellows. It wasn’t much but it was something.

The interior itself was very homey as if whoever had lived here had put much time in making it comfortable. There were tiny touches of former life all over from paintings of calm meadows to hand knitted throw pillows. Picture frames of smiling faces decorated the mantle over the fireplace. Resting under the coffee table was a beige dog bed. It all seemed frozen in time and he was surprised to not find anything grotesque or out of place. Perhaps the family had left before things got really bad. Or worst case scenario they died elsewhere. The only thing that didn’t appear to belong were the odd reddish fading symbols on the wall, put at four corners to make an invisible rectangle.

Castiel gingerly touched one. “Dean, what are these?”

For the first time since meeting Dean actually looked a tad uncomfortable. “They uh—they’re wards.”

He was familiar with the term. “You mean like anti magic symbols?”

“Something like that yeah. My mom gave me a book filled with them a long ass time ago. She was into that kinda shit. Anyway who knew they’d actually come in handy one day?”

“How did you discover they worked?”

“Trial and error.”

“And these…?”

“Create a sort of barrier around the house to keep bad shit out. Some of those monsters can’t cross them for whatever reason.”

“That is pretty ingenious. Is this how you’ve managed to stay safe?”

“Something like that. They help.”

It dawned on Castiel that they were fifty percent safer with the wards than without, and he sighed with relief before he could stop himself. “I assume you plan to _take out_ whatever these markings don’t stop. If it comes to that…”

Grinning at him and removing his dark blue denim jacket, Dean nodded. “Damn right.” Pause. “So the stove in the kitchen is gas run which means we’ll be able to have warm food. Cabinets got a few canned goods; mostly beans or fruit. With what I got I think I’ll be able to make us a decent dinner.”

Timidly Inias pulled at a stray string on his Batman shirt. “Mr. Dean? Can I help?”

Dean blinked—clearly stunned—but then waved him forward. “Sure bud. I’ll teach you how to open a can with a knife.” When Castiel balked, he snickered. “I’m joking dude. Calm your tits.”

As they rounded a corner and disappeared into the kitchen, Castiel snorted lowly. He didn’t think chastising Dean about his language in the presence of children would go over well. Not to mention the twins hadn’t picked up on anything yet though he knew it was only a matter of time. However more importantly Inias had _volunteered_ to interact with someone besides him and Claire. It was lovely and yet also bittersweet. The twins shouldn’t be getting attached to Dean. If things worked out at the safe house they would most likely never see him again. Losing someone else after suffering the loss of their parents could put them in a more fragile state.

Still he couldn’t tell them to _not_ connect with Dean.

“Claire, would you like to come upstairs with me?” He asked picking up one of the thick votive candles.

Claire grinned. “Okay!” She grabbed his hand and let him tug her along. “What we looking for?”

He hunched his shoulders. “Oh nothing in particular. I just thought it would be prudent to check now that we know it’s safe. We do need more clothes though.”

With wide blue eyes she chewed on her fingers. “I wish we could do like we used to and go to the stores.”

He smiled tenderly at her. “Me too. It was so much easier then.” Very slowly he peeped into the first room they arrived at, finding the bed unmade and the closet doors thrown open. Carefully he ventured inside and opened a few drawers, taking out several male t-shirts and some tube socks. He dumped a pillow out of a case and stuffed them inside, giving it to Claire to carry.

The next room had bunk beds with super hero sheets and toys littering the floor. Claire squealed and threw herself at them, gathering up as many as she could and shoving them into the pillowcase until it was almost filled to the brim.

“Can I keep ‘em? Please! Inias and I don’t have any anymore.” She turned her little face up to him.

Saying no did not even cross his mind. “Of course.”

Clapping, she grunted and dragged her haul behind him as he moved to another bedroom. The master bedroom. Unlike the others it was in complete disarray with clothes and papers strewn everywhere; it was more likely the family had left in a hurry. Nevertheless he gathered up what he could, what looked promising and would be of use.

“I would like to know how you are doing, Claire bear.” He made sure there was nothing hiding under the bed before sitting down on the firm mattress. “You can be honest with me.”

Crawling up beside him, she flicked at her shoelaces. “I miss mommy and daddy. I know they are in Heaven now but I wish they could’ve stayed with us. I wish—I wish things would go back. I don’t like the monsters.”

Castiel kissed her forehead. “I don’t like them either. And I miss your parents as well. But I think they would be very proud of you right now.”

She flashed a barely there smile. “I wanna be a big girl and help but…” A beat. “I—the monsters scare me. Don’t tell Inias. He’s even more scared than I am. I hafta be his big sister.”

Drawing her into his arms, he gave her a comforting squeeze. “It’s perfectly alright to be afraid—we are in a scary situation. And it’s okay to be sad. I get sad sometimes. But do you know what makes it a little better?” When she shook her head no, he booped her on the nose. “You and your brother. Having you with me makes me feel like everything is going to be alright. Family is important and you two are my family. I love you both very much.”

Claire linked her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. “We love you too, Cassie! You’re the best Uncle ever!”

Exhaling shakily to keep himself together, he turned his attention to her wild blonde hair, taking off the bow so that he could braid it for her. 

As always she sat patiently, little feet kicking out against the bedside table. “Cassie? Are we gonna stay with Mr. Dean forever?”

He paused. “I don’t know,” he lied. “Why? Is that something you should like?”

She shrugged exaggeratedly. “I dunno. He’s nice and I like his car.”

“He is nice…” Castiel admitted and finished her braid. “Come on let’s go back downstairs. Wouldn’t want the others to worry.”

Returning to the living room they found Dean and Inias placing several bowls filled with food on the coffee table. Inias appeared happy that he was being allowed to help; laying out spoons and forks and napkins. Dinner wasn’t an elegant affair but it would fill them up. Upon drawing closer he spied pork and beans, chicken noodle soup and a few pieces of bread. He missed meat—especially cheeseburgers—but he wasn’t going to be picky.

Claire and her brother didn’t seem to mind it at all probably because they loved chicken noodle soup. Castiel watched as Dean spooned them out a portion of each. “This looks good.”

Dean sniggered. “It ain’t lobster but it’ll do. I’ve had worse.” Fixing a third plate, he handed it to him. “Enjoy.”

Sitting on the floor around the table, Castiel had them all say grace—though he supposed Dean just pretended if the look on his face was any indication—and then dig in.

Rocking from side to side as she slurped her noodles, Claire finished chewing before speaking. “Mr. Dean are you married?”

Dean arched a brow. “No. Why you asking?”

She laughed. “Nooo! Just wondering. Cassie likes boys and mama said that’s okay. That sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls. Do you like boys?”

“Claire.” Castiel cringed inwardly. “I do not believe that is proper dinner conversation.”

“Heh it’s okay. I have been known to like boys and girls.” Dean answered blithely, eyes on Castiel. “And it’s okay if you guys just call me _Dean_.”

“Deeeeean.” She sang drawing out the e. “Dean do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“I have a little brother.” He said patiently. 

“Dean showed me how to stab a can with a knife!” Inias exclaimed. “But I know I can’t do it until I’m older. He said you can cook some stuff just by sitting it in fire. That’s how he cooked it outside.”

“Dean you know _a lot_.” Claire said in awe. “Did you learn it in school?”

He reached for more beans. “Um some of it. Other stuff my parents taught me or I picked up on the road.”

And that was how it went for the rest of dinner with the twins asking Dean question after question and Dean good-naturedly answering them all. He was good with children and it made Castiel wonder if it were inherent or if he’d had more exposure to them than he’d previously let on.

_At least for tonight Inias and Claire feel safe enough to let their guards down. I honestly don’t know if this should be considered a good thing or a bad thing, but I can’t begrudge them this moment._

Noticing his quiet reflection, Dean hit his foot. “You okay?”

Castiel tried to keep his eyes from growing soft but knew he ultimately failed. He could tell Dean picked up on it though he did not comment. “Yes,” he replied softly. “I honestly am.”

~+~

Dean dumped their dirty dishes in the sink. He wasn’t about to even attempt to try to wash them, there was no need and besides, no running water. He thought he would be alone by now and sleeping in his car with his gun on his chest and a knife under his head. It was sort of preferable to _family hour_ but he would be lying if he said the company wasn’t nice. Even with the sprouts asking about his whole life history. They were just cute enough to be not annoying, a thought that made him chuckle to himself.

Pushing against the counter until his arms jumped with a relaxing twinge, he made his way back into the main room to find Inias and Claire playing with the toys she’d found and Castiel watching over them. It was almost normal but the little voice in the back of his mind reminded him _this_ wasn’t normal for him. Normal was 360 degrees of combat, where having a bleak outlook for eternity felt pure. Sharp knives and assholes with sharper fangs waiting to mess you up, not this _Leave It to Beaver_ Norman Rockwell painting type scene he was currently seeing.

But good news was they didn’t find him weird so he was coping better than he’d thought. Not having to deal with a thirst for human flesh probably helped.

Drifting over to the window, he moved the curtain back just enough to leave a little sliver so he could see out. The dark was all encompassing, like being in a small room with no windows or doors. A regular person wouldn’t have been able to see their hand in front of their own face out there but he could tell there was nothing hiding in the black. No heat signatures at least so nothing _alive_ anyway. He didn’t care about the ghosts.

“We get to keep these?” Inias asked referring to the little cars and trucks he was playing with.

“Yes.” Castiel slouched back into the sofa. “At least this way they won’t go to waste.”

He looked tired which made perfect sense. He was probably exhausted. Dean could relate to that bone deep weariness that made you want to rip your spleen out except in Purgatory it never reached the knife’s edge. He never got to the point where he couldn’t go on one more minute. Something about how the place was made or the magic keeping it together.

Humans though…they weren’t meant to fight like they had to now. Not 24/7 anyway. Their bodies needed rest and food and too much stress could give them heart attacks. Castiel put on a brave face but Dean wasn’t stupid. He also wasn’t sure he wanted the responsibility of keeping these people alive. But Castiel couldn’t shoot and he knew nothing about wards; he had no idea the full magnitude he was even up against.

_That’s not your problem though. You didn’t sign on for passengers. You avoided them for a reason._

_But is it the reason you’re letting on?_

The hair on the back of his neck prickled and he became hyper aware of his surroundings. His palm itched for the bone knife in his bag—his constant companion in Purgatory—but he pushed the sensation down. It was an odd looking thing and he already had Castiel asking questions about the wards, though because of his former profession he’d taken his explanation better than most. He hadn’t lied; the book was a gift from his mother many years ago. She knew so much about the world and the creatures that slithered their way out of the bile of the earth. Most tended to stick to their own kind but some were ravenous for whatever they could get their claws on. That meant even someone like _him_ needed to be semi protected.

At least when his eyes weren’t open.

Though nothing but a sharp machete and a strong stomach could protect against the assholes he suspected made that creator in the middle of the road. Christ but he hoped they didn’t run into any of those douche bags.

Leaning against the wall, he flinched minutely as Castiel stepped up beside him. He smelled like the inside of the Impala and dirt, his skin salty with the need of a shower but not smelly. “What’s the word, Cas?”

“Would you like me to be literal or tell you things are okay?” Castiel mused in what he probably thought passed for a joke.

Dean couldn’t help but smile. “Are they really? We’re squatting in some random house eating week old beans.”

Castiel folded his arms over his chest. “My niece and nephew are safe and warm, so yes things are okay. I would have been unnerved about entering a house like this on my own, especially at night. My old car had been our home since…well _since_ …”

Dean tugged on his plaid shirt, rolling the sleeves up to show off his bare forearms. “You were taking the right precautions I think. If the car was safe no need to leave it. I just thought with this area being jacked up maybe walls would be better.”

“It’s nice.” Castiel stifled a yawn, round blue eyes bright but tired. “Excuse me.”

_Is anyone still that polite?_ “Go sleep. You don’t have to keep me company or whatever.”

“Maybe I want the company.” Castiel pushed strands of dark hair off his forehead. “Maybe a part of me is worried you’ll be gone before we wake up.”

“Ouch, ye of little faith.” Dean’s brows narrowed but he kind of got it. “Well if you want me to snuggle up with you on the couch I’m willing. But you’re the little spoon.”

Giving a throaty chuckle, Castiel glanced back to his twins. “If we even attempted that I’m sure we’d be used as mattresses by those two.” Pause. “We’ll sleep in shifts. How is that?”

Dean nodded. “Fine. I’ll take the first shift then.” He patted Castiel on the back. “You guys deserve a good night’s sleep. As long as I get at least four hours I’m good.”

It was obvious Castiel wanted to thank him again but he didn’t which Dean was glad for. He just—there was no real point to it. He wasn’t going to leave in the middle of the night though a tiny voice suggested it was the better option. Besides all he had to do was hang on until they got to Nebraska. He could do that.

He watched Castiel stretch out on the sofa and sure enough Claire and Inias joined him moments later, tucking against him and wiggling until they were all comfortable. Without his consent he started to feel nostalgic for a life he once had and people he once knew long before he entered Purgatory. Story time around the fire and the smell of horses trotting through a field of wild onions—a life that seemed to belong to someone else. A family of faces he couldn’t exactly place anymore.

Best to forget the past and focus on the future, or what was left of it anyway. He would never see any of those people again—except for perhaps Sam, his mom was an extreme long shot—and thinking about the joy they’d brought to him served no purpose. If he was going to survive Purgatory on earth he needed to be as he was _in_ Purgatory. Just another monster.

~+~

“Oh.”

That was all Castiel said upon seeing the state of the safe house early the next morning, but really his expression was all but screaming how he was feeling. Dean felt sorry for him; he’d put so many of his hopes on this place, on being able to settle down and let someone else pull the slack for a while. And now that dream had been broken into a million pointy pieces. Oh it had probably been a designated safe place but the same thing obviously happened to it that happened to everything else. Mainly…death.

The bodies scattered across the parking lot were fresh, no more than a few days old so the irony of a massive sink hole causing them to detour wasn’t lost on him. Some were whole but if he zeroed in he could see hearts and other organs missing, leaving behind hollow spaces where they used to be. Black slime coated the windowsills, the front door torn off the hinges and discarded on top of a small white Volvo. The sand bags were still neatly stacked and a tank sat off by itself with an arm hanging onto the hatch. Bullet cases littered the ground like steel pieces of hail from a terrible storm.

Over the hum of the car Dean could hear scrabbling and digging. If anyone was still alive in there they were either a lost cause or not human. The urge to go look didn’t even flare up and if that made him a bad person, oh well. He’d take it up with God if he ever saw him.

Sure the idea of a safe house had sounded wonderful but he’d had his suspicions of it from the very beginning. Maybe the army could protect people and handle werewolves or vampires. They were easier to take down than say a wraith but en masse even a pack of dogs could be dangerous.

Dean sniffed the air and scrunched up his nose, turning back to the wheel and slowly driving off. He didn’t want to have to tangle with whatever might come running out.

Glancing into the rearview mirror he caught sight of the twins silently watching Castiel, waiting for him to say something but Castiel was eerily quiet. He was crushed; Dean could see him regrouping in his mind, hands clenched tight around the edge of the seat so hard that his knuckles were white.

When he did finally say something it was, “I’m sorry Dean.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Dean pressed down on the accelerator.

“I—I thought at last we—that things were—“ He couldn’t seem to decide on which thought to go with. “What do we do now?”

He was at a loss and Dean could relate. Could remember that terror over not knowing what to do next, yet realizing if you made the wrong decision it could cost you your life. So many years passed but the world always remained sort of fucked up that way.

“Now?” Dean looked at him until he slowly lifted his sad blue eyes from his feet. “I guess now we keep driving.”

“Dean—”

“Cas. We’ll just keep driving.”

Castiel shuddered and his lower lip trembled but he didn’t argue. Dean figured he wouldn’t.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Dean didn’t know where they were going but it didn’t bother him too much because just driving around was basically what he’d been doing since getting out of Purgatory. However a final destination obviously weighed heavily on Castiel’s mind; he hadn’t said much in the five hours they’d been on the road, instead just staring out of the window with a lost expression on his face. Because of his silence the kids were quiet too, dozing off and on in the backseat. Obviously he was still thinking about the safe house or lack thereof, and now wondering what the hell they were going to do. Where would they go? Was there anywhere _to_ go? Anywhere safe in this new land the monsters had taken for themselves?

Probably not but Dean wasn’t about to say that. He didn’t want to kick the poor guy while he was already down. So instead of saying anything or hinting that he should be thinking about another location, he just drove. Glanced at his tattered paper map every so often to see what road he was on or where they were drifting towards. The last time he’d checked they were in Colorado nearing Colorado Springs, an eight hour trip cut in half because there was no traffic on the road. Just overgrown weeds on the side and scattered paper in the ditches. Pretty much just like every other place he’d been to.

With a deep, drawn out sigh Castiel leaned his head back to the headrest and rubbed at his eyes. Any bit of rest he’d managed to gain from sleeping on a couch inside of a house for a change was gone. He was back to looking worried with tiny lines between his drawn brows. “I…suppose we could look for another one,” he said softly. “Another place that offers shelter. If the rumors are correct the one in Lincoln wasn’t the _only_ one. There should be more in various places—I mean there have to be right? That would make the most sense.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. Too many people out there needing help for Lincoln to be the end of the line when it comes to safety.”

Castiel shook his head. “True. However I have no idea where any others could be. And I feel it’s not fair to use you as a chauffeur while looking for something that probably exists but is akin to searching for a needle in a haystack.” 

Dean shrugged. “Honestly Cas I’d be doing this even if you weren’t in the car. Driving around gives me a certain peace of mind…” He stopped himself before commenting on how safer it seemed as well. “Don’t worry we’ll get you straightened out. And if we don’t, well…” _I have no idea how to finish that sentence._

Nevertheless Castiel smiled tentatively and let his shoulders relax just a bit. “I will admit traveling with you has been nice. Having another adult to talk to—I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I didn’t have it anymore.”

Dean grinned at him. “That’s funny since I’ve been accused of being a child multiple times. And your kids seem smarter than most.”

Castiel hummed. “My sister believed in starting their learning from an early age. Though they were the only two children around a bunch of adults so I assume they couldn’t help but pick up some of our language and traits.”

Nothing wrong with that... “I like it. No doubt it’s helped them cope these days.”

Lowering his voice, Castiel edged closer. “Do you really think they are okay, Dean? I—I worry about their state of mind constantly. I’ve only talked to them briefly about things and they appear to okay but…I don’t know. A part of me doesn’t want to get too deep in case it upsets them.”

Dean scratched at the back of his neck. “I get it dude, I do but listen you’re doing a great job. They’re fed and healthy and alive. And they’re not reaching for my guns so…yeah. I think you gotta pick your battles here and take a win where there is one.”

Castiel rubbed at his temples. “I’ll try. Looking on the bright side might help.”

Dean didn’t know about that but whining about the things you could never change didn’t do any good either. The new arrivals to Purgatory did that sometimes. Bitched and moaned about how it wasn’t fair. How they didn’t deserve to spend eternity in such a horrible fuck hole. How they hadn’t been doing anything other creatures like them weren’t doing. Or they tried to pull some kind of weird rank; that always amused him. Oh you were a big deal out amongst the humans? Well asshole here with the other monsters you weren’t shit. Those idiots never fared well. Usually found themselves tied to a tree for weeks at a time or picked clean by the first beast that lumbered along.

He still didn’t know what happened to dead things that died in Purgatory. It’s like they just ceased to exist anymore. Honestly that scared the shit out of him.

Coughing, he motioned to the glove compartment. “I got some pills in there if you’ve got a headache or something. I don’t get them but when you’re on a stealing spree you kinda take whatever isn’t nailed down.”

His friend chuckled but started searching for them anyway. “Is there anything you haven’t thought to procure?”

Dean made a face. “Okay you’re gonna laugh but…toilet paper. I don’t have as much as I should.”

Castiel did laugh, causing the corner of his eyes to crinkle. “I am going to have to deduct points for that. Toilet paper should be number three on the list after food and water.”

“So you’d risk your life for some Charmin?” Dean inquired playfully. “Me? I’d just use a sock or leaves.”

“That is disgusting.” Castiel responded as he twisted open a small bottle of Tylenol. “What if you got poison ivy?”

“I wouldn’t because I know what it looks like.” Dean said smugly. “You’d be surprised what you can end up going without when you have to. Even food sometimes.”

“Where were you when everything changed?” Castiel dumped two pills into his palm and searched his bag for water. “I don’t believe you’ve ever said.”

_Oh how I could answer this._ “Well I was with a friend and we were…camping more or less. When shit went down we got separated and I haven’t seen him since. I’m not too worried though; Benny was a real tough guy. If anyone can handle himself out there it’s him.”

After Castiel had taken his pills and drunk his water, he licked his lips. “Were you two…together?”

Dean blinked. “Me and Benny? Hell no. Heh I mean no, the love of his life is named Andrea. We’re just really good friends. Sort of like brothers in arms always having each others’ backs.”

Castiel smiled. “I had a few good friends like that. Interacting with people was never my strong suit but I found a couple that put up with my eccentricities and liked me in spite of them.”

Dean snorted. “In spite of them? Sounds like bullshit to me Cas. I haven’t known you long but nothing you’ve done makes it hard to like you. You’re just a likeable guy.”

_And that’s sort of the problem isn’t it? If he were a dick it would be so much easier to drop him off on the side of the road and never look back._

“Thank you, Dean.” Castiel replied with his gravelly voice, ears pink. “I find you to be a likeable guy as well.”

Fortunately Dean did not have to answer because after rounding a sharp curve he slowed to a stop, eyes focused on several charred remains blocking a small bridge that led to the other side of the road. It looked like a bad accident with two cars nearly on top of a third, all of them burned black with torn air bags sagging against the steering wheels. In all likelihood they were attacked by something and forced to crash or just not paying attention, however his mind figured the former made more sense. Something could have been hiding in the backseat and popped up. 

They could turn around and look for a different route but with the way one car was sort of balancing, he could probably tip if over and off the side of the railing. Driving in circles wasn’t good on the gas and anyway he wasn’t sure where another station was or if it would even have anything. “Okay.” Pulling over, he put the car in park and glanced around. “I’m gonna clear this so that we can get by.”

Castiel looked skeptical. “I don’t think even you are strong enough to lift a car, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes; if only he knew. “I can shove it over the railing if I put my back into it. Then I just gotta get the other one over enough to slide by. Have a little faith.”

Castiel let out a put upon sigh that lacked any heat. “Alright. But be careful. If you throw your back out I’m not sure I could carry you anywhere. Perhaps if I got the twins to grab a leg each…”

Dean kept his face blank. “And to think I shared my beans with you.” As he got out of the car he could hear Castiel laughing and he couldn’t deny it brought a small smile to his face.

Everything else aside it was nice to have a bit of light breaking through the darkness. There wasn’t much to laugh about in Purgatory and the stuff you did end up laughing at kind of made you deranged. He had no idea how he hadn’t lost his mind after so long. Benny being about as sane as you could get there helped him keep it together. Except for the part where after a while he started to enjoy the killing.

Rolling his shoulders, he slowly made his way towards the wreckage, right hand drifting behind him to rest on the handle of his gun. The sun was shining with a light breeze stirring and the closer he got to the cars, the more his senses began to tingle. Everything looked fine but there was _something_ he couldn’t put his finger on; a nagging sensation at the top of his spine. He used to get them frequently in Purgatory when some dickhead was about to try something stupid.

Dean frowned as he reached the cars, windows broken and metal melted. The backseat of what was once a Honda Civic smelled like gasoline, blood and burnt human flesh. Of course someone could have been trapped inside when it went up in flames but he wondered if that were the case. Nothing was as cut and dry as it seemed anymore.

_You should get back in the Impala and find another way. Take your chances._

Just as he was about to turn and voice his concerns to Castiel, something grabbed him by the back of the neck like a stray kitten and hurled him into the windshield of the Honda so hard he crashed through what was left of it, ass sinking into the dashboard. His head bounced off a side mirror and he groaned in pain, wincing as pieces of jagged glass stuck into his back and sides. It was then he heard the others screaming in terror, Castiel shouting for Claire and Inias to _get down_ before shrieking _no_ so loud it echoed in the distance. There was an ear piercing bang and then silence.

Slightly dizzy, Dean pushed it aside and made himself move. He slipped off the Honda and hobbled back to the Impala on legs that shook; he could already feel the glass being pushed out of his body so that the skin could seal properly. There would still be blood though.

“Cas!” He called as he threw himself towards the driver’s side. “What—” 

The back window was completely smashed in with light claw marks dug into the leather upholstery. Inias was sitting in Castiel’s lap in the front and clinging to him, letting out harsh choking sobs that reddened his face and soaked his Uncle’s shirt with tears. Castiel was visibly trembling, holding Inias tight with tear streaked cheeks of his own—the pulse in his neck jumping erratically. 

_Where’s Claire?_ “Shit, what happened? Where is Claire?”

“It—it—something grabbed her.” Castiel stammered, clearly shell shocked. “It moved so fast I—I couldn’t stop it. Dean it _took_ her. It took Claire!”

“Fuck!” Dean swerved around to the trunk and popped it open, yanking open one of his bags and rummaging inside. He found his mother’s book and flipped through the yellowing pages until he found the symbols that would keep out almost everything. “Okay. I’m gonna need you to draw these at four corners on the car in blood.”

Castiel dropped the book as it was shoved into his shaking hand. “What? In blood? Dean I—”

Dean interrupted him. “I know how it sounds but it has to be blood, okay? Just cut your hand and do it. Then lock the doors and stay low.”

Opening his door, Castiel stumbled out with Inias still gripping him like a baby monkey. “What about Claire? We have to do something! We have to go after her before that _thing_ hurts her! What if we’re too late? What if it’s—it’s already…”

Strapping a holster around his thigh for a second gun, Dean shoved a knife into his boot and hooked his Purgatory blade through a belt buckle. “I’m going to go find Claire but I _need_ you to stay put. The drawings will keep you safe.”

“Dean…”

“Cas you gotta trust me, okay? I’m gonna find Claire and everything is going to be okay.”

Castiel looked completely devastated. “What if you don’t? What if you can’t? I should have done something! I should have fought that thing off.” He patted Inias’ back. “This is all my fault. She’s gone and this is _all my fault_.”

Without thinking, Dean grabbed his face with both hands. “Look at me. I _will find_ Claire. I swear. Do the symbols quick, get back in the car, get a gun from my bag and sit tight.”

He didn’t wait to see if Castiel would listen because he knew he would. Instead he took a quick survey of the area and followed the direction the thing went; happy his heightened sight picked up on the tiny breaks in broken weeds that had been recently stomped on. He was at a full out run by the time he hit the woods, jumping over fallen logs and slapping thick branches out of his way. The treetops were chunky letting in barely there slithers of light, the bushes filled with briars that snagged on his clothes. The tracks he was managing to follow were so light he had to rely on his sense of smell when they disappeared entirely; following his nose towards the scent of fresh blood and decay.

It was also deathly quiet. Not even insects buzzing.

Dean had no damn clue what he was going to do if he was too late. If Claire was already dead. Castiel and Inias would be overwhelmed to the point of no return; he didn’t really see them coming back from such a loss. If she was gone, well, he’d at least try to bring her body back. Proper funerals were scarce nowadays but if anyone deserved one it was a five year old little kid.

Pushing those thoughts out of his mind for the time being, he kept his brisk pace until he came to an overgrown trail leading up to a hulking mass of caves. A sign near the front read _Cave of the Winds_ , some kind of tourist attraction and now the perfect place for some jackass to hold up and hibernate.

_Shit anything could be in there. Fuck, okay. What liked the dark spaces in Purgatory?_ His mind whirled with different images from vampires that liked to squat some place dark during the day to djinns who liked privacy while draining the blood of their victims.

“Wait,” he whispered aloud. “The claw marks. Claw marks, super fast, light-footed…fuck.” Suddenly he had a clue with what he was dealing with. “Son of a bitch. Let’s do this then.”

Dean had his bone knife out the minute he stepped foot inside the darkened cave, for all the good it would go. It wouldn’t deliver a killing blow but he figured it would buy him time until he could find Claire and get the hell out of there. There were lights dangling from the ceiling, strung up in a loopy pattern probably for the amusement of the tourists. But since there was no electricity he didn’t bother with them. He could see where he was going, deeper and deeper into the belly of the caverns with only the sound of dripping water for company.

He followed the uneven path and stuck close to the wall, peeping into a corded off side “room” filled with speleothem jutting down from the ceiling. Wetting his lips he slashed the rope and slowly stepped inside, frowning when his boots crunched on something too hollow to be rocks. _Bones_ his brain told him helpfully. _You’re standing in the middle of its’ feeding ground._

Which meant Claire didn’t have to be alone.

Smoothing a hand across his forehead, he stepped in a little more and spied a black backpack that had been thrown carelessly into a corner. Taking his chances he unzipped it and rummaged inside finding a compass, a small canteen for water and road flare. He wedged the flare into his jacket pocket and stood, tilting his head as he listened very carefully to his surroundings.

There was a scraping noise like keys on stone coming from the very back of the area so he cautiously headed that way, trying to be as quiet as he could. He edged around a large stalagmite and came face to face with a man tied up and hanging from the ceiling, forehead bloody and mouth open. Dean raised his knife to tap him when a tiny whimper caught his attention. Tucked up on a bulky ledge with tear stained cheeks and twigs in her blonde hair was Claire, looking down at him with huge wide eyes.

“Claire!” He hurried over and lifted his arms. “C’mon baby girl, c’mere. I got you I promise.”

“Dean? Dean is that you?” She said through hiccups. “I—I can’t see. It too dark!”

“It’s me, sweetie. I’m here to take you back to Cas and Inias.” He replied lowly. “Just scoot forward for me.”

After hesitating for a few moments, she slowly slipped forward and toppled right into his arms with a little yelp. The minute she realized he had her she wrapped her arms tight around his neck and hugged him for all that he was worth, tiny fingers catching in the hair at the nape of his neck. He gave her a squeeze and kissed her temple, just holding her for a bit as she sniffled and snuffled against him. It had been _so_ long since he’d held a child like this, had to comfort one from a bad nightmare or a bruised knee. He’d honestly figured he had forgotten how but apparently something like that settled in your muscles and never truly went away.

“Alright we’re—”

Growling cut through the silence like a blade, a throaty rumble that bounced off the walls from all directions. Claire gasped and dug her fingers into the back of his neck hard enough to pinch. It was _close_ and it knew he was there. The scent it gave off was stale and unnatural and it was the closest he’d been to anything that came from Purgatory since getting out. Anything alive anyway.

Dean knew he wouldn’t be able to make any kind of dent in it with Claire in his arms but the last thing he wanted to do was put her down. She was terrified and it would no doubt just make things worse for her. However if he tried anything while carrying her he would most likely just end up getting them both killed. If this creature was what he thought it was, it would be super fast and fueled by its ravenous hunger for human flesh. He wasn’t even entirely certain he could win against it but he was willing to at least try. Better to go down swinging than curl into a ball and die.

Ducking down behind a group of gnarled spikes reaching out of the cave floor, he gently pried Claire off of him. “Okay sweetie I’m gonna need you to listen very carefully.” He kept his voice barely above a whisper. “I have to kill the monster that took you so that we can get out of here. Now I know you’re scared but I’m gonna need you to hide here. Can you do that for me?”

She sniffled, tiny hands holding tight to his fingers. “You won’t leave me?”

“I would _never_ leave you.” Shrugging out of his jacket, he gave it to her. “Hold on to this and when you hear something that scares you, just squeeze it as tight as you can. I know it’s dark and you can’t see but if you squeeze this it’ll be like holding onto me until I get back. And I _will_ be back. I promise.”

It wasn’t the best situation but she agreed. “Okay…”

Dean kissed the top of her head. “Alright sit tight and don’t make any noise.”

_I should have grabbed a flashlight for her._

Exhaling, he stood and stepped out into as much of the open as he could. “Hey asshole! Yeah I know you can hear me! Why don’t you come out here and pick on someone your own size?” When nothing happened, he frowned and slowly pulled the serrated blade from his belt loop. “One of your happy meals is trying to get away! You gonna stand for that?”

Tiny bits of granite fell down onto his shoulder and as Dean looked up he caught sight of the monster hanging from the ceiling, skin a sickly gray color and shaped like a man even though it wasn’t. It snarled at him and before he could get his gun it was darting past, slashing him across the back as it went. The wounds were deep and they burned but he ignored them, trying to track the direction the thing went.

“I know what you are!” Dean taunted. “A Wendigo playing at being a man. A freak from the other side…”

The Wendigo howled and rushed by him again, then time slicing him across the stomach before throwing him into a wall. He hit it hard but clamored to his feet, feeling something warm and sticky oozing down the side of his face. As he stumbled up he bumped into the hanging man and went with his spur of the moment idea, cutting him down and all but hurling him across the dusty floor. He flailed and pin wheeled at an odd angle towards the open doorway and the Wendigo pounced on him, strange elongated arms wrapping around his middle in some perverse mimic of a hug. 

Dean wasted no time; he sprinted towards the Wendigo and lit the flare, shoving it burning end first through its wrinkled thin back with all the strength he could muster. The monster cried out in pain as it was burned from the inside out, screeching and sinking to its knees, lighting up the darkness like some grotesque firework.

Groaning, Dean released a slow breath and tried to ignore the rank smell. “Claire?” Stepping over the hanging man—who’d suffocated from the angle he’d been strung up—he held his bleeding stomach. “Claire it’s okay. You can come out now.”

Her little blonde head popped up from the corner and once she realized she could see even a little bit, she ran out and threw herself into his legs. It hurt to bend down and scoop her up but he did it anyway. “You okay?”

She nodded, unsure. “Dean! You’re bleeding!”

He cracked a smile. “Yeah but I’ll be alright. I’m a lot tougher than I look. C’mon let’s get back to Cas and Inias.”

The walk back to the Impala wasn’t a long one but it felt that way considering the situation. Dean’s gashes were steadily seeping blood; supernatural wounds always took longer to heal than say bullet holes for some reason. He was tired and dirty, and Claire was a heavy weight on his hip but the thought of letting her walk didn’t even occur to him. She needed to know she was safe and being close to another person helped. He was just glad it was daytime and they had a good amount of light left.

About ten minutes later the Impala was in view and Dean hurried through the brush to reach it. The moment Castiel spotted them he was out of the car with Inias in tow, running to meet them. Dean put Claire down and she sprinted to cross the gap, flinging herself into her Uncle’s arms the second he dropped to his knees. And then they all just embraced and hugged, letting the tears flow freely because it was okay now. They were tears of relief, of gratitude and happiness.

Castiel looked her over to make sure she wasn’t harmed and kissed all over her face, smiling when Inias hugged her tightly and told her how happy he was she was back.

Even someone with a heart as empty as Dean’s couldn’t help but grin at the scene though it also made him sort of sad. Steeling himself against the onslaught of emotions that threatened to rise up, he rolled his shoulders and headed around to the driver’s side. “We should get out of the open. I think I can move those cars now.”

“Dean.” Castiel was behind him and it was a testament to Dean’s exhaustion that he hadn’t heard him move. “You—” He noticed the blood. “You’re hurt. Let me help you.”

“We move first. That thing is dead but I’d feel better if we weren’t here anymore.”

After pushing the burnt vehicles out of the way and turning onto a dirt path with a little secluded grove of trees, Dean finally let Castiel get a good look at his injuries. The twins sat close together on the hood of the Impala as Dean grunted and stripped out of his ripped up shirt, frowning at the three claw marks across his stomach. If he were human he would probably need stitches so thanks for that not being the case.

“Dean, did you draw on yourself?” Inias asked curiously.

“It’s a tattoo.” Dean mused. “I got it a long time ago.”

Castiel was standing in front of him and staring at it with a rag dipped in alcohol in his right hand. The tattoo was a curved wild bird in dark ink on his bicep with one long feathery wing stretching out across his chest, just above his nipples, the other wing reaching down towards his elbow. He’d gotten it back in the thirties in some dingy little parlor while his brother bitch faced his disapproval. _Those were good times._

Arching a brow, Dean smirked. “You can touch it if you want, Cas. It won’t bite.”

Snapping to attention, Castiel scowled and dabbed at him with the rag. “It’s a lovely tattoo Dean but I more concerned about these wounds. You should have stitches.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You could bleed to death.”

“I won’t. Seriously they look a lot worse than they are.”

“They _look_ like you were gored by something. Surely you have something in your bag that we could use? Any type of thread or floss?”

Dean shook his head. “Nope. Really dude I’ll be fine, you don’t have to worry. Once they are clean—”

Castiel hugged him. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders and hugged him, seemingly refusing to let go until Dean hugged him back. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest; a sign that he was still upset over what happened to Claire. Dean got that so he didn’t pull away and let it go on longer than he usually would have.

“I’m sorry.” Castiel said, voice thick. “But you got these saving Claire and it could have been so much worse. There is no way I can repay you or express the amount of gratitude I have for you. You _risked_ your life for people you don’t even know… I—I just…” He placed a hand over Dean’s heart, fingers brushing the details of the feathers. “Who _are_ you?”

Dean stared at him from under long lashes. “I’m just a guy, Cas. Just a decent sorta guy. If the tables were turned I’m sure you would have tried to save my family too.”

Castiel smiled and returned to cleaning his wounds. “I would have. And I will try to save you if it ever comes to that. You have my word.” Meeting Dean’s gaze and sensing the tension, he cleared his throat. “So can you tell me about what took Claire? It moved so fast all I glimpsed was a shadow.”

_This I can deal with._ “Uh it’s uh—it’s called a Wendigo. Lore has it that it was once a man but after being forced to become a cannibal to survive some harsh situation, it changed. Grew a taste for it and over time turned into a creature less than human.”

“From the flesh.” Castiel surmised. “There are several cultures that believe eating human flesh gives a person certain abilities. I suppose in an odd way it is true then. Super human abilities yet you become a monster because of the monstrous acts you’ve committed. How did you kill it?”

“I stabbed it with the flare.” Dean hissed as the alcohol burned. “Fire usually does the trick with most stuff so…”

Lack of real bandages made things tough—though technically Dean didn’t need any—so Castiel improvised and used torn bits of fabric to bind the gashes. “If we find a real first aid kit I’ll redress them.”

Dean winked. “Thanks. I feel better already.”

Castiel snorted and fetched him another shirt. “You should rest. Are you hungry? I’ll get you some water.”

Inias tapped Dean on the shoulder. “Dean, are you a superhero?”

Dean chuckled and got dressed. “No but if I was one I’d totally be Batman. He has all the cool shit.”

Inias giggled at the curse word. “I like Batman too.” Pause. “He saved people like you did Claire. Maybe when I grow up I can save people too.”

“I think that would be cool.” Dean said honestly. “Okay guys we should get back on the road. I wanna find something to fix my windshield and we’ve got about four hours of real daylight left. Don’t wanna be out when it’s pitch black.”

“Where are we going?” Claire inquired as she sidled up next to him. “Back to that house?”

“No but we’ll find some place. We’re on a main highway so we’re bound to find a gas station in a few miles.” He replied. “We’ll be okay.”

Castiel handed him a bottle of water. “Are you alright to drive?”

_Maybe not but that’s never stopped me before._ “Yeah I’m good. Besides I can’t let just anyone handle my Baby.”

Inias and Claire wanted to know what qualified the car as a baby but Dean just laughed and decided to let Castiel explain it to them. Things were changing between all of them and he didn’t know what direction they were headed. Dean loved the idea of family surrounding him and once upon a time, he’d had that in spades. But things were different now in more ways than one. Purgatory beat the goodness out of you one way or another. Yes he risked his life to save a five year old little girl but if the hanging man had been alive, well he honestly couldn’t say if he would have attempted to save him too. There was just something about the Novaks or whatever the twins’ last names was that reminded him of things from his past. Bright things and faces he still longed to see even to this day but knew he never would. Maybe Sam.

If he were lucky.

Every second he spent trying to help Cas and his family was time he _could_ be spending looking for his brother, and a part of him was a little resentful about it. But then he’d remember Sam’s insistence about helping people and how back in the day they’d both swore an oath to protect those that couldn’t protect themselves. Sam would want him out in the world fighting Wendigos. Hell he was probably doing the same thing somewhere. And really only a complete asshole would turn his back on a kid in need.

But it was more than that. It was the kids being adorable and Castiel being this odd patient enigma that fit perfectly in the passenger seat, bringing noise to the quiet spaces that Dean had never minded before but didn’t miss so much. It was—it was the humanity of it all. Their spirit and drive to survive. Purgatory was nothing but monsters willing to gnaw off their own leg if it somehow benefited them and now the Earth was just the same, except people were now the monsters as well. And Dean was so tired of monsters.

Castiel wasn’t a monster. Yet Dean wasn’t stupid enough to think he wasn’t dangerous because he was. Maybe Castiel was the most dangerous of all.

~+~

The gas station had seen better days but there were no complaints when Dean slowly pulled onto the lot and into the small garage area. Castiel knew the importance of walls, especially cement ones and it was obvious they all needed that added security right about now. It smelled like motor oil and dust, the enclosed room filled with car parts, empty bottles of antifreeze and cobweb covered tools. Castiel stood with a hand on either of the twins’ shoulders and watched as Dean cut his hand so that he could draw wards on the small windows. His own hand sported a similar cut that stung whenever he made a fist but otherwise didn’t bother him. He’d wrapped it with a sock and duck tape until it stopped bleeding.

He looked composed but on the inside he was crumbling away piece by piece, his mind replaying Claire being taken on a jerky loop behind his eyes. It just all happened so fast. One minute they were all waiting for Dean to try and move those cars blocking the road and the next, glass was flying and she was screaming as she was snatched right out of the backseat. Seemingly by nothing but a shadow. At that moment time stopped and Castiel felt completely helpless. It was as if his brain short circuited with no idea how to react except for to cuddle Inias close and try to calm him down. Try to push that everything was going to be alright although he thought the exact opposite.

It was hard to think even now that Claire was safe but honestly, Castiel knew he’d never see her again. He had known he’d failed Hannah in the worst way; he’d failed them all. And while rationally he realized there was nothing he could have done against such a massive foe, he still berated himself for not reacting. For not saving her or fighting back or doing _something_ besides yell. She was fine now yes but he would harbor that guilt for the rest of his life. Perhaps as some odd form of penance or maybe just a reminder to do better next time.

_Next time…_

Castiel shuddered and swallowed thickly. If it hadn’t been for Dean—if it _hadn’t been for Dean—_ he would have lost Claire forever. That… _Wendigo_ would have eaten her like she was nothing more than a deer or rabbit. She would have died in pain and fear and all alone at only five years old. God it hurt his heart especially when he thought about the people not as lucky, the ones that ended up actually dying.

_That could have been us._

The Wendigo going after Claire was just another slap in the face after seeing the state of the safe house. All those poor people thinking they had finally found a new home only to be slaughtered like cattle. It meant nowhere was really _safe_ anymore and it did dim his hope of ever being able to close his eyes restfully as he once had. In truth he wasn’t sure what their next move was besides what was happening right now. Fixing Dean’s car and making sure the kids—his kids—were okay. He wasn’t exactly okay but he would deal with it. There was no other choice.

One thing was abundantly clear to Castiel however; Dean Winchester was apparently their guardian angel. When he had promised to bring Claire back safe Castiel had thought it impossible. A tiny part of him wanted to tell Dean to stay because if he died what would he and Inias do? Where would they go? How would they fight if something else came at them? In the end though he was beyond happy he went after Claire because he’d actually found her. Alive. Maybe Dean was just a good guy who felt sorry for them, whatever the case Castiel was indebted to him. He really hoped he got the chance to repay him.

Still he couldn’t help but wonder _how_ had Dean managed to best a creature like that? One so fast and strong that thirsted for human flesh…

Sighing deeply, he wet his dry lips and shook himself into action. Being active might help the situation. “This looks like an interesting place to spend the night, huh?” Forcing a smile he spied some wooden blocks and markers abandoned on a table. “Would you like to draw something?”

Inias shoved his fingers into his mouth. “Like what?”

Castiel gathered up the blocks and put them on the floor. “Whatever you wish. Surprise me.”

Claire kept a hand holding tight to the material of his jeans. “Will you… What you gonna do?”

He bent down to their level. “I am going to help Dean set up the lights and make soft places for us to sleep. Don’t worry we will both be within sight at all times. And if you get tired of drawing and…just want to sit with him or I just say so.”

A bit placated, both children plopped down with their blocks and markers. Castiel pulled their bags from the backseat and gave them their other toys just in case the drawing didn’t work out before migrating over to where Dean was currently patching up his back windshield. He hadn’t put back on his layers so the end of his tattoo was visible, flexing as his arm moved. His brow was furrowed in concentration, the deep scratches on his neck and forehead an angry red against his tan skin.

_It was a miracle that monster didn’t gut him._ “Do you need any help?”

Dean wiped his forehead with the back of his wrist. “Nah I’m good. Gonna put plastic on first then cardboard just in case it rains.”

Castiel nodded but remained quiet.

Noticing, Dean stopped applying duck tape and looked at him. “How you holding up, Cas?”

“I am…” Trailing off he leaned against the side of the car. “I would like to say I am fine, that everything is fine but that would be a lie. I was better before Claire was taken now I am reminded of the true scheme of things. Earth isn’t safe anymore. There are no hiding places.”

“It’s rough, yeah. But that doesn’t mean you can’t survive.” Dean replied lowly. “You’re surviving right now.”

“That’s because of you.” Castiel pointed out. “There is no way I could have gotten Claire back on my own.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself dude. And anyway we were on that road because of me. So…it’s kinda my fault that thing came after us in the first place.” Dean made a face like he’d sucked on a lemon.

Castiel wondered if he did that a lot; took everything onto his own shoulders so that others wouldn’t have to carry the weight. “It’s admirable that you want to take the blame Dean but the twins are my responsibility.”

“Yeah well, while you guys are traveling with me I guess you and them are kinda my responsibility too.”

“Why?”

“Why not? If you didn’t want my help you should’ve never got into my car.”

The urge to take umbrage with his comment hit Castiel square in the chest but he realized it for what it was…stress. They were _all_ stressed out but arguing wouldn’t solve anything. “You know your help has been immeasurable to us. I—I am not sure what would have become of us without you. But isn’t it also wrong to be depending on you so much already?”

Dean’s eyebrow twitched but his face remained otherwise blank. “Maybe. Look we both know this situation is fucked up. And okay yeah maybe I would rather be flying solo but I’m not so…it is what it is. I’m not gonna abandoned you somewhere and I’m not gonna be a dick to you because you’re here.” 

Castiel balled his hands into fists. “What if we left?”

Yanking out another long cord of tape, he slowly smoothed it down over the plastic. “Hey if that’s really what you wanted to do I wouldn’t stand in your way. I’d just tell you how goddamn stupid it is.”

Castiel chuckled before he could stop himself. “I wouldn’t blame you. Um…are we’re staying here for the night?”

Dean said, “Yup it makes the most sense. Get our wits together and regroup.”

So that was what they did for the next couple of hours. After Dean was done with fixing the Impala he made them something to eat which they all sat on the cool floor and enjoyed. Claire and Inias stayed close to play with their toys before eventually demanding a happy bedtime story. Dean told them about a brave cowboy sheriff who protected his town from bandits and who married the prettiest girl in the whole county. Castiel didn’t expect them to actually slip under but they did, curled together like puppies in a pile using his coat as a blanket.

In the morning he would talk to them about…everything.

With the way the gas station/garage was set up, Castiel could see into the mini mart part of the building through a square glass window. The selves had been overturned and the cash register was completely gone but some of the food seemed to be in decent shape. Chips weren’t nutritious but they could fill you up in a pinch.

“What are you doing?” Dean drawled as he walked up beside him.

Castiel motioned with his flashlight. “Food. We should take some before we leave.”

Dean grunted. “And booze. I’d kill for a beer right now.”

Castiel snorted. “I don’t think getting drunk is the way to go.”

His friend grinned. “Not drunk. Just a few sips to take the edge off. You could do with a little yourself. You’re wound tighter than a jack in the box.” Spying the door leading into the store, Dean gave the knob a jiggle and carefully pushed it open. As quietly as he could he hurried over to the beverages and grabbed two beers out of the container. “They’re hot but beggars can’t be choosers.”

Castiel took one reluctantly. He wasn’t a light weight by any means but he preferred wine to beer. However when Dean sunk down behind a large tractor tire he joined him, making sure he was only a stone’s throw away from the twins and that he could still see them.

Dean popped the tops off with a knife and sighed. “Now all I need is pie.”

“Pie?”

“Yup. Apple with the flaky crust. Haven’t had any in ages”

“Well I suppose the good thing about pie is that you can make it from scratch.”

“Heh yeah. I find an oven and a few minutes of peace, I’m going for it.”

Sipping his beer, Castiel coughed at the taste. “Do you ever think it would have been better if you hadn’t survived this long?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah. This life ain’t much but I’m happy for it.”

Castiel hummed. “Every day Claire and Inias are here it’s another chance for them to be traumatized. And no matter what I do I can’t stop it.”

Dean shrugged. “Ya know you could have ended it a long time ago. Driven off a cliff or went into some house, turned the gas on a lit a match. We both know why you didn’t and it’s because that’s not your style. You’re scared and worried but you’re also a fighter. I don’t think you’ll ever give up…and I admire that.” He took a long swig from his bottle, throat working as he swallowed. “Claire and Inias? They might have issues but they’ll also see how you reacted, how you kept fighting. Kids pick up on that kinda shit.”

The glow from the battery operated lantern cast half of Dean’s face in shadow but he looked…calm. As if what he was saying was just the honest truth. He just believed Castiel was taking the best care of the twins that he could.

Maybe that was why Castiel kissed him since he could not blame it on the alcohol; he hadn’t had enough of it.

It wasn’t a serious kiss, just a gentle press of lips that Dean didn’t return. “Dean?” Castiel questioned, wondering if he’d just ruined their budding friendship.

Dean exhaled and tangled in hand in Castiel’s dark hair. “This is a bad idea.”

_Understandable and yet…_ “I think I’m entitled to a few of those after what I’ve been through. I just—I need…” Blushing, he glanced away.

For the first time he wasn’t very articulate but it didn’t matter because Dean responded anyway. He captured Castiel’s mouth and kissed him, drawing him closer until Castiel was straddling his lap. Dean’s lips were soft and he tasted like warm beer but Castiel didn’t care because his tongue was doing wonderful, amazing things that had him whimpering softly.

Castiel kissed him back like he’d been waiting forever for this, biting and sucking at Dean’s plush lips until he was dizzy with the need to breathe but reluctant to come up for air. He thought it—whatever it was—would be rushed and hard but it wasn’t, not really. Castiel had asked for something, not sure what it even was but Dean knew. Dean smoothed his hands down Castiel’s back, pushing underneath his thin shirt before dipping to the front and unbuttoning his jeans. He pulled Castiel half hard out of his underwear and squeezed, palming the head until he was fully filled.

“Dean.” Castiel clawed at his shoulders, the flush traveling up his neck a deep red. “The—the twins…”

“Shh…” Dean whispered into his ear. “Still asleep. You gotta be quiet, Cas.”

That was easier said than done especially with Dean’s hand stroking slowly up and down his cock. From root to tip, thumb brushing across the wetness quickly pearling on the damp head and using it to stroke him down.

Shuddering, Castiel bit his bottom lip to keep quiet. His hips bucked up and his thighs squeezed Dean’s waist, his entire body tingling and stomach twisting as Dean mouthed at his neck and nibbled hard enough to leave marks. It had been so long since he’d been touched by another person, since another person _wanted_ to touch him. A few quick fumbles as a teenager and that one time at the faculty Christmas party years ago, nothing more. He’d thought there was time for love and romance, for _this_ later but he’d been so wrong. But it was okay because Dean was _good_ at this, very good.

As stressed as he was with all the nerves in his body cranked as tight as they could get, it didn’t take Castiel long to hurl face first into a shattering orgasm. Not with Dean’s right hand keeping up a steady pull and his left kneading his ass; the pleasure beginning at the base of his spine before erupting over the rest of his body. He stifled his cry as he came, body writhing against Dean as his cock pulsed and spurted sticky and wet, ruining both of their clothes. He could feel himself trembling, his lungs fighting for air and he panted harshly into the side of Dean’s neck, riding out the burning aftershocks that didn’t seem to want to end.

Groaning softly, he slumped into Dean’s chest as his bones melted into pudding. Underneath him Dean was tenting the crotch of his denim jeans and Castiel wanted nothing more than to help him out. He lifted his head with a questioning look but Dean just kissed him again, licked hotly into his mouth so Castiel took that as a green light to continue. He fumbled with the button and zipper to Dean’s pants until he got them open, slipping his hand inside to wrap his fingers around Dean’s painfully hard erection. He didn’t waste any time—they didn’t have it—and jerked Dean off fast and rough knowing he could take it.

Dean came quick, teeth sinking into Castiel’s clothed shoulder as he grunted and groaned, hips lifting off the concrete floor. By now they were both sweating with Dean’s skin furnace hot but somehow comforting. Neither seemed to want to move and that was fine with Castiel, although he resolved to give himself three minutes to just be in Dean’s arms before he cleaned up and checked on the twins. He was expecting nightmares tonight and he wanted to be ready for them.

But this? This moment with his cheek on Dean’s shoulder and his nose tracing up and down his throat was just for him. “Dean…”

“Hm?” Dean’s arms tightened around his waist.

“Thank you.” He said softly. “Just…thank you.”

Dean didn’t reply but Castiel got the feeling he understood the meaning of the words anyway.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

The coffee was disgusting but Castiel gulped it down anyway, thankful he was even able to make any in the first place. While the mini mart/garage had not been the ideal place to stay, it was filled with food and drinks so he supposed it wasn’t all bad. And after a bit of trial and error Dean managed to somehow hook the coffee machine up to the Impala’s car battery and produce a pot. Months and months without the bitter taste of real caffeine and now here it was coursing through his veins. He didn’t mind it was missing milk and cream.

Standing at the glass and watching Dean help the twins grab whatever junk food they wanted, Castiel sighed and rubbed at his itching eyes. He was tired after having only gotten a few hours of sleep. The…thing with Dean left him feeling relaxed and sleepy but he’d forced himself to clean up as much as he could in the tiny bathroom before curling up on the floor near the twins. As usual Dean insisted on the first watch though he had sat closer to them, green eyes gazing out a window while his fingers tapped the gun in his lap. Castiel dozed off wishing he could read his mind so that he could find out if their indiscretion had ruined anything between them.

About an hour later Claire had awoken screaming which in turn jerked Inias out of his slumber. Nightmares were expected after what they had been through, so he did what he could to console them. Held them close and promised everything was going to be alright. He just hoped he could keep that promise. They were slightly better now that it was day time again.

Yawning, Castiel sipped his coffee and smiled as Dean pointed out which chips he thought were the best. The side of Castiel’s neck where Dean’s lips had nibbled and bit was dotted with hickeys and he had to force himself not to touch them. He didn’t want the twins asking questions or thinking something horrible had bitten him. But he was thinking about last night—in fact besides monsters it was all he could think about. The warmth and the safety and relief; for a few moments it had been okay for him to just not focus. They would have meant almost nothing before the merge and now they were everything. The tiny bit of difference between being so stressed out he caused himself to have a heart attack and being able to exhale fully for the first time in months.

However Castiel wasn’t an idiot and he knew any type of sex could change things between two people. He didn’t want it to become the elephant in the room between him and Dean, though that didn’t seem to be the case. In fact Dean hadn’t mentioned it or alluded to it at all. Everything was normal as it had been before. It’s what he wanted…so why did he feel disappointment over it?

_I guess it was just one guy helping out another. Like if we were on a submarine stuck miles under the ocean._

With a sigh Castiel shuffled back to the thin pallet he’d called his bed and sat down. He put down his cup and stretched, scratching at his scruffy cheek and wondering would it be worth the trouble to attempt to shave a little. Surely the mart had razors and other miscellaneous toiletries for people that would have been on vacation and needed more. He just didn’t want a mountain man beard.

“Cassie! Do marshmallows go bad?” Inias asked as he ran back into the room swinging a bag.

Castiel arched a brow. “Eventually.” He held out a hand. “Let me see them.”

Smiling, Inias handed them over and flopped down in front of him. “We got lots of candy too! But we won’t eat it all.”

Castiel hummed and pinched at the bag of marshmallows, looking for signs of mold. “I think these are okay. The expiration date isn’t for another few weeks. But if you start to see any dark spots they have to go.”

Inias nodded. “Kay. Maybe—maybe if we find a super market we’ll get more stuff that hasn’t gotten stinky yet.”

“He’s only saying that because he wants pancakes.” Dean said walking into the room with Claire on his back. “And I told him we’d need milk because using water would probably make them taste like dirt.”

“I thought water was what you _used_?” Castiel chuckled, smiling at the sight his niece and his—and Dean—made. “Though I might be mistaken.”

Dean snorted. “We could try it with water. What do I know? Haven’t made pancakes in years.” Slowly he ducked to let Claire slide down. “If we see a box I’ll read the back so that we can settle this once and for all. We should be getting back on the road soon.”

Castiel wet his lips. “And go where?”

Dean shrugged. “Don’t know. If you wanna stay here longer it’s cool, I just figured we’d go. I like being on the road.”

Running a hand through his hair, Castiel frowned. “I am just not sure that is exactly safer.”

Sitting down, Dean ripped open a snack cake and gave it a sniff. “It might not be but neither is staying here forever. The key to settling down depends on how secure the place is. My car isn’t that secure but neither is this building.”

_I suppose._ “Are we just going to drive around for the rest of our lives?”

Green eyes lifted and Dean frowned a little. “Do you have more pressing matters to attend to?”

Castiel sighed. “No. I—never mind.” Turning his attention to the kids, he looked at their haul of things. “Did you get anything for me?”

Claire handed him several candy bars. “Yes. One has peanuts ‘cause you like peanuts.”

He kissed her cheek. “Thank you. I’ll share with you when I open it. I—” A small package of donuts landed in his lap. “Um…”

“Just eat them.” Dean muttered.

Recognizing an olive branch when he received one, Castiel opened the donuts and ate one. It was stale but he didn’t mind. “So um, did you manage to find anything not coated in sugar? Aren’t these places supposed to have canned goods?”

Dean pointed to his bag. “Lots of soups and fruit but we’ll make do.”

Taking the marshmallow Inias offered her, Claire yawned. “I miss our house. I miss my room.”

With sad eyes, Castiel pulled her closer. “I know you do sweetheart. I do too. I think everyone does.”

She pouted. “This sucks! Stupid—stupid monsters! Why did they hafta show up and ruin stuff!?”

Castiel hated seeing her so upset but decided it was a long time coming. Perhaps venting would be helpful. “I don’t know. I wish I had answers for you Claire bear but I don’t. But it’s okay to be angry. We’re all angry.”

“I hate the monsters!” She yelled. “I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!”

“Shh it’s okay.” Castiel soothed. “We all hate them.”

And then Dean said something very surprising. “I don’t.” He wiped his fingers off on his jeans, his expression unreadable. “Don’t get me wrong I hate some of them but not all. I’ve…been on the road a long time and I’ve seen a lot of weird shit. Some of those monsters are kinda like us. Lost and scared and…looking for a place to go.”

She sniffled. “So…I shouldn’t hate them?”

He poked her gently in the shoulder. “No you can hate them if that’s what you need to do. After all that you and your family have been through it would be weird if you didn’t. I’m just saying one day you might run into one that’s not so bad. In the future when you’re older.”

This seemed to give her pause. “Only if it’s the Hulk.”

Dean laughed. “Okay maybe you’ll run into the Hulk.”

For a little bit they just ate and talked about nonsense while Castiel rocked Claire from side to side and made sure Inias didn’t over dose on marshmallows. When it seemed Claire was in better spirits, she crawled off to pack up her things while her brother helped, and Castiel excused himself to the bathroom. He did relieve himself but he also leaned his forehead against the cool wall and willed himself to stop trembling. The scream lodged in his throat slipped out a little, loud in the otherwise quiet space. He couldn’t fall apart, he didn’t have the luxury. His family needed him. 

That did not stop him from punching the wall, and then regretting it seconds later when his knuckles throbbed in pain. “Shit!”

“Yeah that wasn’t smart.” Dean mused as he appeared in the doorway. “Tile hurts like a bitch to punch.”

Castiel glared at him. “Am I not entitled to privacy anymore?”

Dean smirked and grabbed his hand, pressing down on the bones. “Of course you are. I can leave and you can kick the toilet if you think it’ll make you feel better.”

Wincing when he hit a sore spot, Castiel shook his head. “I feel helpless, Dean. My kids are hurting and I can’t do anything to help.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Cas, the fact that you didn’t leave those kids in the middle of nowhere to go off and do your own thing—which would have been easier—means you’re committed. And I get the whole weight on your shoulders deal but they don’t blame you for anything. They want their normal life back—who wouldn’t?” A beat. “You gotta take care of yourself though, man. You’re all they’ve got.”

“Does that mean no more punching intimate objects?”

“I’d stay away from the hard ones unless you know how it’s done.”

“Find me a pillow then.”

“I’ll put it on my list behind milk.”

Castiel grinned and exhaled deeply. “It’s not your job to make me feel better, Dean, but thank you.”

Dean patted him on the shoulder. “I gotta be good for something. C’mon, we should go.”

Ten minutes later and they were on the road again, saying good-bye to the mini mart with all their goods in the back in the floor. Claire and Inias were squished into the front seat for a change; giggling and lowly singing the _Wheels on the Bus_ because the more faces Dean made at the tune, the more they seemed to enjoy singing it. Happiness wasn’t something they would probably ever had for long but it was nice to see them smiling when they did smile.

_What will they do when Dean leaves? How will they react to losing someone else, even if it’s not in death? For that matter how will_ I _react?_

It was slightly insane but Castiel wondered would it be out of line to ask Dean to stay with them no matter what. For the twins…

“Dean? Do your boo-boos still hurt?” Inias inquired.

Dean smirked at him. “Just a little sore but I’m doing okay. I heal quick.”

Inias nodded sagely. “You shoulda had Cassie kiss them all better. He did that to my hurt knee one time and it made it better.”

Dean cut his eyes to Castiel. “Oh really? I would have let him but he didn’t offer.”

_Insufferable._ “I didn’t know I was supposed to considering you are an adult. Would someone who fought off a Wendigo need their boo-boos kissed?”

Snorting, his friend pressed down more onto the accelerator. “I think that is when he would need it the most.”

Claire pulled at her shoe string. “Are you two going to get married? If so can I be the flower girl?”

Inias blinked at her. “They have to be boyfriends first.”

She frowned. “Says who?”

He shrugged. “I dunno but they just do. Then after they are boyfriends one of them has to get on one knee and ask the other one to get married. And there has to be a ring.”

Claire looked up at Castiel. “Do you have a ring, Cassie?” Her blue eyes were so earnest. “Maybe we could find you one. Or maybe Dean already has one!” Noticing the silver ring on Dean’s finger, she pointed happily. “He does!”

While Castiel couldn’t help but be a little embarrassed by the topic, he was willing to go along with it if it kept Inias and Claire in somewhat of a good mood. “An engagement ring is different from a regular ring. Usually they are shiny with a big diamond.”

She scrunched up her nose. “Dean you have to get Cassie a diamond. A biiiig one the size of my fist!”

Dean arched a brow. “I’m going to get right on that next stop we make.”

She grinned and Castiel lightly hit Dean’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t encourage them; they might think you are serious.”

Dean scratched at his scruffy cheek. “Even if they do there is more to marriage than rings and flowers. For one thing we’d need a priest and I don’t know where we’d even _begin_ to look for one. Another thing? Can two dudes even get married in this state? Oh and then there is the marriage license and witness. I don’t think two sprites strung out on Skittles will be good enough.”

Castiel’s brows narrowed in amusement. “I’m concerned how much thought you have apparently given this.”

Dean’s laugh was throaty and full bodied. “I’ve thought about a lot of shit in the past few months. Happens when you’re riding solo. Guys being able to tie the knot is something I never thought would happen. Least not in my lifetime.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, not really.” Castiel said serenely. “Like you said the hoops one had to go through in the past don’t exist anymore. If two people wish to be married they can have their own private ceremony.” Claire opened her mouth so he quickly added, “If they are in love and are ready to commit to one another. Which doesn’t happen overnight.”

“What about love at first sight?” Dean snickered, most likely to be exasperating. “Isn’t that a thing?”

“It is in movies.” Inias giggled. “Ariel and Eric fell in looooove when they first met.”

Castiel tsked them all. “How about we talk about something else? I’m even willing to let you have more marshmallows.”

Thankfully that diverted the twins attention elsewhere much to Dean’s obvious glee. But even the teasing was nice because it meant perhaps things weren’t one hundred percent that bad. 

Anyway with the wards still on the car and refreshed by Dean when they started to get too dry, they drove for almost two straight days, only stopping for bathroom and food breaks. Dean didn’t _like_ driving at night—though it was obvious it was only because he had passengers—but there weren’t many places to stop. So Dean had kept driving only begrudgingly letting Castiel take the wheel when he could hardly keep his eyes open. The twins had then wondered when it was their turn.

By the time they entered the state of Idaho Dean was back behind the wheel and singing some rock song he knew by heart. 

_Arimo, Idaho_ read the dingy green sign.

The Impala topped a hill and Castiel gasped at the sight before them, eyes wide as he stared out of the windshield. Where most of the areas they’d driven through were dirty with debris or decaying body parts, this one had been cleaned up. Things almost looked normal; the weeds cut down and the road free of dried leaves and sticks. But what really caught his attention were the military vehicles and soldiers in fatigues with high powered M-4s, staring at the car and forcing Dean to slow down while going through the open barricade.

“What’s happening?” Castiel asked softly. “We haven’t seen this many people in a very long time.”

Dean looked anxious. “I think we’ve finally found you a safe haven of sorts.” Rolling down the window, he stopped in the middle of the empty road once they are near another soldier. “What’s with all the troops?”

The young man looked no older than nineteen, thin and holding his gun like it’s his best friend. “This town has been officially cleared of Critters and designated safe by my unit for civilians, sir. The Fairfield hotel is being used as the primary housing facility. You are welcomed to check and see if there are rooms available for you and your family.”

Castiel tilted his head. “Critters?”

The soldier nodded. “It’s what we call those… _things_.”

“Whatever works I guess.” Dean nodded and eased forward, presumably heading towards the hotel. “Guess you wanna check it out.”

It wasn’t a question but Castiel replied anyway. “Yes, please. This could be what we have been looking for.”

Strangely quiet, Dean maneuvered his car into the cluttered parking lot, passing several tanks and filthy vehicles before coming to a stop on a patch of grass almost up on the curb. He cut the engine and gazed out of the window, watching people carrying buckets full of fruits and vegetables. They were smiling and chatting amongst each other…kind of like they were _happy_. Or at least content with their lives.

_That shouldn’t be possible._

With his hand on the door handle, Castiel frowned but slipped out of the vehicle anyway. Everything appeared to be normal but he refused to get even the tiniest bit excited that perhaps this was it. Perhaps this was _the place_ he’d been searching for since Hannah first told him to protect her children. Yet a small nagging voice was already in the back of his mind and whispering what if. _What if?_

Claire hopped out of the Impala and looked around curiously. “What’s going on?”

He smiled and picked her up into his arms. “We don’t know yet but we are going to look around. Looks nice, yes?”

She nodded slowly. “Lots of people.”

Inias sneezed and wiped at his nose. “Dean? Are you coming?”

Tucking his gun behind him, Dean crawled out and ruffled his hair. “Yeah bud I’m coming.” Inias flashed him a toothy grin and held up both arms so Dean simply scooped him up and sat him on his hip. “Let’s see what these mooks have come up with.”

The trek up to the front door was a short one and soon they were in the lobby which had been converted into more of a command center. Soldiers and civilians alike were bustling around with clipboards and boxes, ushering shell shocked families and sobbing couples upstairs or down cluttered hallways. Castiel couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in a room with this many people. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen this many people _alive_ and not dead on the ground somewhere. And everything was running like clockwork—no one appeared to be out of sorts or wandering around lost.

Before he could say anything, a tiny redhead popped up in front of them. “Hi! You guys just getting in?”

Castiel blinked at her. “Yes.”

She chuckled. “Hey it’s all good. This must look strange if you’ve been out on the road for a while. Anyway no worries because I am here to make sure you’re snuggled up nice and tight somewhere. Just think of me as your personal butler except not really because I won’t be actually waiting on you.” Pause. “I’m Charlie.”

“I am Castiel. And this is Claire, Inias and Dean.” Castiel gestured to his left.

Charlie grinned. “Aw cute! Well let’s see if we have a room available for you and your very attractive family. One second!” Jogging over to a thick book laying on the counter, she flipped through it for a few pages. “Oh yes! You’re in luck. We have a good one up on the fourth floor. C’mon.”

“So what’s the deal?” Dean inquired as they followed her.

“Um so the military cleared this place of creepy crawlers a little while ago and started letting people come live here.” Charlie explained. “Then they stuck around to keep the peace. So far we haven’t seen any other monsters so word must have gotten out that guys with guns now own Arimo, Idaho! They turned the hotel into like a big old hippy commune but without the hippies. We all pull our own weight though so it’s nice. Beats living in my car and fighting squirrels for acorns.”

“And you haven’t seen _any_ monsters?” Dean asked with doubt in his voice.

“Nope.” Charlie popped the P. “Guess we are just lucky. Anyway I got here pretty early on and they put me on the welcome wagon team because I’m _peppy_ , so they say. In my former life I worked for this major account firm on tech support so…until they get the internet up and running again this is my job. Not as fun as hacking my boss’ twitter and posting cat videos though. What did you two do before?”

Castiel’s eyes zoned in on the crates full of supplies in the stairwell. “I was a professor of theology.”

Charlie replied, “That’s great! I mean we could use a teacher for the kids. And some of the adults.” She turned her attention to Dean. “What about you? Underwear model?”

Dean smirked. “I…was a Sheriff of this small town.”

That was news to Castiel but he didn’t say anything. “Ooh another lawman. You should talk to Henriksen about some type of position here. He is always looking for people who can handle a gun.” Charlie suggested. “He used to be a Detective.”

Dean grunted in response.

Another flight of stairs and Charlie was showing them down a nondescript hallway with pretty paintings and dusty tables. She led them past open doors where people waved hello or yelled across the hall to one another, coming to stop in front of a white door that had been left ajar. “Here you go! Home sweet home. Just tape a piece of paper on the outside or hang up a sock so others know it is taken, and you can start moving your stuff in. I—”

“Charlie?” A pretty young woman with dark brown curls held up a bag of laundry. “Do you think I could possibly do another load?”

Charlie practically leapt to help her. “Anything for you Glinda. Someone else will be along to help you guys. I gotta go lay some primo groundwork.” 

She left with a wink and Castiel idly thought she seemed like good company. If everyone was as nice and upbeat as her—well he didn’t know if he would fit in since he wasn’t perky, but he figured he’d at least get along with his new neighbors. _Guess that means I’m staying…_

_No. First I will see how the entire operation is before making a decision._

Inside the room smelled musky but was otherwise in perfect condition with soft carpeting and cream colored walls. The windows were dirty and there was a layer of dust on the tables and chairs but nothing a good wiping down wouldn’t cure. In fact the area looked more like a suite than your run of the mill room. The curtains were thick and dark blue, the television sitting on a large wooden stand next to what he assumed was the mini bar. There were paintings and fake flowers and the bed was still made.

Claire squirmed so he put her down. He wasn’t surprised when she ran and crawled up onto the bed. “This place is aweeeeeesome!”

“Claire Elizabeth, no jumping on the bed with your shoes on.” He scolded. “But yes this place is very nice.”

“Are we going to live here?” Inias asked as Dean put him down so that he could join his sister.

“I don’t know.” Castiel bit his bottom lip. “For now we are just checking everything out. Though we could at least spend the night. I’ll get our bags later and we’ll see how the food situation is.”

Dean was quiet but his tense shoulders and wary stance spoke volumes. “Don’t give them your food, Cas. I know Charlie talked about working and singing kumbiya around the fire, but you shouldn’t show your hand until you’re sure this is where you wanna be. I wouldn’t anyway.”

It actually made sense. “No I understand. Was what you told her true? That you were a Sheriff?”

Scraping a hand across his head, Dean nodded. “Yeah but it was a long time ago. I still remember the…training such as it was. Look, Cas—”

“Hello? Coming in, hope everyone is decent!” Said a new voice and seconds later a tall rather handsome man with golden blonde hair peeped around the corner. “Hello. Charlie told me we had some new roommates. I’m Bartholomew but everyone calls me Bart…even if I tell them not to. Welcome.”

Castiel smiled and shook his hand. “I’m Castiel. This is Dean, Inias and Claire.”

Bartholomew bid hello to everyone before turning his attention back onto Castiel. “How are you finding things?”

“Well, we actually just arrived so we haven’t seen much of it. However first impressions are it looks nice.”

“Oh. Would you like a tour?”

“That would be lovely.”

Bartholomew’s face lit up and he gestured for the group to follow him. He took them outside and around back where most of the work was happening; people digging and chopping and burning. “Okay where to begin. I’m sure Charlie gave you bits of information about what is going on here as she is wont to do. How the military fought hard to win this place back for the humans. Personally I don’t think it was as bad as some other towns so that helped. Now we are trying to make a community again.”

“Cassie look!” Claire exclaimed excitedly.

Not certain what he was going to see, he glanced with caution. It was children—a group of children laughing and running around while an elderly woman watched over them. “Oh. They look so carefree.”

Bartholomew smiled. “They have been through a traumatic experience but having a safe space is no doubt helping them heal. For now we let them play but we do want to look into schooling options later. And…adoption. Not all of them still have parents.”

Castiel’s lips turned down at the sides but he understood. “Perhaps I could be of some assistance. I was a professor.”

Claire tugged on Castiel’s pant leg. “Can Inias and I go play? Please we’ll be careful!”

He didn’t want to let them out of his sight but it was day time—not that any of that mattered—and he couldn’t deny their request when they actively wanted to go off. Especially Claire considering what she had been through and how troubled she was. _Still was_ if the nightmares were anything to go by.

Noticing his hesitation, Bartholomew touched his shoulder. “It’s okay. Mrs. Benson won’t let them wander too far. Neither will the soldiers.”

Castiel swallowed hard. “Alright. But be respectful to Mrs. Benson.”

“We will.” Claire took her brother’s hand and pulled him over to the other kids.

Joy and melancholy swelled into the center of his chest. He hadn’t seen the twins with other kids in such a long time. _They could have that here. They could be young again._

Bartholomew chuckled softly. “Don’t worry they will be safe. You have my word.” His hand lingered and squeezed before he motioned forward. “What kind of host would I be if I let anything happen to my new guests?”

There was a twinkle in his pale blue eyes, a small friendly smile on his thin lips verging onto something else. It surprised Castiel that he even picked up on it because his skills with people and their cues had never been one hundred percent. Not to mention he thought himself horrible at flirting and had long since stopped trying. It was hard enough actually realizing when someone was flirting with _him_. While Bartholomew was obviously a nice person with everyone, he was all but ignoring Dean and giving Castiel his laser-like focus. Castiel wasn’t completely sure but that seemed like appropriate flirting behavior to him.

_I wished Hannah was here so that I could get her opinion on the matter._

“Not a very good one.” Castiel mused continuing with their conversation. “Are you in charge?”

“Somewhat.” Bartholomew responded airily. “I oversee a few of the day to day functions and keep track of our growing population. We’re trying to get the word out about this place but radios are down and CB only goes so far. Not to mention they are rather ancient. Perhaps signs as a last ditch effort.”

“I—I think what you have already accomplished is admirable.” Castiel said honestly. “You are giving hope to so many people. In these trying times it could be the only thing holding a person together.”

Bartholomew hummed wisely. “I just want to make sure everyone has a fighting chance. And a future.” Gazing at Castiel quietly for a moment, he smiled. “Would you like to see where we plan to have our gardens? You look like a man with a green thumb…”

Castiel glanced to Dean who was strangely silent, face a mask of clean stone. He looked aloof and uninterested in their new surroundings which made sense if he wasn’t planning on putting down roots. Perhaps it was time for him to stop depending on Dean so much and start fending for himself, as he had before monsters became a reality. He had to learn to trust another person eventually…maybe Bartholomew could be that person.

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his slung low jeans, he grinned. “That would be nice. Dean—”

“I’ll move your stuff to your room.” Dean interrupted coolly, bow legs taking him towards the far right of the building.

He made it sound so final but there were still discussions to be had. Castiel couldn’t see himself living anywhere the twins didn’t want to be unless absolutely necessary. But he would admit already the location had a certain appeal to it. The impression of everyone working together and sharing; he liked that people could still do that. That they still _wanted_ to do that. Throughout all of his ordeals—especially before meeting Dean—he’d resigned himself to the fact that humans were letting the creatures twist and change them into something foul. Fear and anger ruled their hearts now, not compassion. However in what used to be an empty field behind a hotel men and women were thriving. They were putting aside their fear to help one another and it was a lesson the twins would no doubt benefit from.

_I could show them there is still goodness in the world._

As Bartholomew showed him where _this_ was going to go and where _that_ was going to go, he was also introduced to a few of the other residents. A pretty young woman named Susie who’d lost the entire bible study group she’d been traveling with. Teenagers Dylan and Robin; they’d barely made it out of their foster home after watching their foster parents die. Married couple Maggie and Don Stark who apparently bickered incessantly about everything and two elderly men that had been friends since they were kids, Vernon and Jay. All of them had harrowing stories of survival, some so stressful it was a wonder they managed to make it to the Fairfield at all. Their eyes were guarded, bright with the tales of what they’d seen but also hopeful for a new beginning.

Castiel wished for nothing more.

What shocked him or tickled him was how engaged he became while talking to everyone. It occurred to him that even though he wasn’t exactly good at it he’d missed socializing. He’d missed talking for the sake of talking and having a captivated audience. When Don Stark expressed interest in conversing about religion and God, Castiel had thought he’d misheard. Getting to talk to someone about it, someone that understood filled him with a tingle of excitement. They could have lively debates.

“So, what did you think?” Bartholomew asked as he walked Castiel to his door. “It’s not much yet but it’s safe.”

“It’s…it’s perfect.” Castiel chuckled deprecatingly. “Compared to what’s out there.”

Bartholomew smirked. “Ringing endorsement but I know what you mean. I’ll accept the compliment. Well if you need anything I’m a floor below in room 103. Come by day or night and if I can help I will.”

Castiel shook his hand again. “I will. Thank you.” 

With one last lingering look Bartholomew was heading back the way he came, stepping to the side so that he wasn’t run over by Inias and Claire. His niece and nephew flew through the open door, red faced and plastered with grass stains. He didn’t know the water situation but he knew they desperately needed washing up.

“Alright. Bath time.” He said with a perturbed expression. “Somehow. Come along and you can tell me all about your afternoon.”

~+~

Thanks to Charlie Castiel was able to get hot water poured into the bathroom sink, enough so that Inias and Claire no longer looked like they’ve been eating mud pies. He was also able to clean up himself and it felt nice to have the dirt and grime off his skin. To use deodorant again—to even have deodorant.

When Dean returned after being AWOL for about an hour and a half, Castiel was in the process of helping the twins build a pillow fort with the help of the small sofa.

Claire noticed him first. “Dean!” She leapt up and threw herself at his legs. “Where you been?! We—we saw a goat an—and a cow and Mrs. Benson said we might even get a cat!”

Dean smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I was just checking out the security. Had to be sneaky so that nobody caught me.”

Castiel watched him. “What did you find out?”

He shrugged. “They have more soldiers and more guns than Lincoln. I don’t know, maybe that will work in everyone’s favor.”

Inias scooted across the carpet. “We played ball with other kids, Dean. And I met a boy named Adam whose mommy is a nurse. She could look at your boo boos for you.”

Dean dropped down into one of the lounge chairs and let Claire climb up onto his lap. “I actually feel a lot better but thanks for looking out.”

Inias snickered. “This is gonna be our home now. Cassie said so. Isn’t that neat? We get to play every day.”

Castiel wet his lips. “Until they manage to get a school up and running.” Exhaling deeply, he decided to broach the subject he’d been wondering about for quite some time. “I know you’re not sold on this place yet, Dean, but first impressions seem good. There is food and water; you can get a bath if you like. You—out on the road can be harsh as we have all witnessed.”

“Yeah…”

“It isn’t the only option anymore.”

“It is for some.”

“Dean, pl—”

Unfortunately Castiel was not able to finish his sentence because Bartholomew was knocking on the open door. Claiming it was something he did with all of the newcomers, he invited them to dinner at his home promising _real_ food and not just the kind you got from cans. Since none of them had had a real meal in months it didn’t take much to get them to say yes. Though Castiel did have to poke Dean into accepting the invitation which he did quite grumpily. An attitude that didn’t lighten over dinner.

Bartholomew’s room was nothing fancy but it did look lived in. He’d removed his couch and put in a desk that was currently loaded down with maps, stencils and drawings. A CB radio sat near the window. Tacked onto one of the walls were photos of different people, some circled in green and others with red Xs through them. Spilling out of a suitcase sitting where the television used to be were guns and ammunition. 

Dressed in a plain white t-shirt and black jeans, Bartholomew ushered them to his dining room table and put pillows in the chairs for Inias and Claire. He then doled out the food onto paper plates; fried chicken, boiled potatoes and a can of peaches for everyone. Compared to the beans and noodles they’d consumed in the past few months it was like a feast.

Castiel put a paper towel into his lap out of habit. “This looks delicious. How are you able to have food like this?”

Bartholomew waved his fork around. “The kitchen here is amazing so it’s just a matter of finding the right ingredients. The soldiers had the chickens—the ones that could no longer produce eggs became dinner. This isn’t an everyday sort of thing but it’s okay to splurge a bit.”

Castiel reached for the salt. “You didn’t have to go to so much trouble for us.”

Bartholomew grinned widely. “Perhaps I just want to give you more reasons why this is the perfect place to call home. Besides my shining personality for company of course.”

Castiel laughed. “For what it’s worth you had me at warm water.”

“Easy to please…” Bartholomew murmured, lips curling charmingly. “I _like_ that.”

Blushing, Castiel snorted and made sure the twins weren’t having any trouble with their food. They were quieter than they’d been earlier but he supposed they were just shy, though he didn’t know Claire to not voice her opinion on any matter before. “Is your food good?” He asked her, smoothing back her hair.

“Yup,” she said sticking a piece of chicken into her mouth.

“You can take the leftovers home and make sandwiches.” Bartholomew told her, to which she nodded. “I’m sure your Uncle would say the same but I make a great chicken and cheese sandwich. If you ever want one you just knock on my door, okay?”

“Okay.” She replied, inflectionless.

Inias remained silent but watched the proceedings with interest.

Taking a sip from his bottled water, Castiel tried to keep the conversation moving. “So Bartholomew, what did you do before the world ended?”

Bartholomew leaned back in his chair. “Believe it or not but I was a Vice President of Marketing and Design for an advertising firm. Climbing my way up the corporate ladder to a penthouse and Jag when suddenly those _things_ are everywhere. The city turned into World War 3 in a matter of hours so I got out of there as fast as I could.”

Castiel nodded. “What about your family?”

His new friend smiled sadly. “My parents died when I was eighteen and I don’t have any siblings. Never been married so it was just me. I consider that a blessing however because I didn’t have to lose anyone.”

_If only we could all be so lucky._ “Hm. But don’t you get lonely?”

Dean’s hand tightened around his fork as Bartholomew replied, “Oh extremely so. But look at me now? Surrounded by people that I can help and having dinner with a gorgeous professor and his friends. I made out okay.”

Castiel’s face heated up but he couldn’t wipe away his delighted expression. Having dinner in a safe space with good people; it was just so normal. He’d _really_ missed normal. Though he wasn’t blind to the fact that Dean was behaving as if he were on watch, green eyes staring at the chicken he was hardly eating like it had offended him. His usual bravado and jokes were nowhere to be seen. It unnerved Castiel but he couldn’t think of a reason for it, unless he was just _that_ anxious to get back out on the road.

_Could it be Dean wants to leave us that badly?_

Bartholomew cut into his potato. “What about you, Castiel? Have you had any close run ins with those creatures?”

Hannah broken and bleeding flashed before his eyes followed by Claire screaming as she was ripped from his arms. “Somewhat.” Was his vague answer. “I have seen monsters up close but I’ve always seen the bad side of humanity.”

“I don’t know if any human could be as horrible as some of those things.” Bartholomew sneered. “I believe we’ll beat them in the end though. I think we’ll send every God forsaken one back to Hell where they belong.”

Dean scoffed under his breath. “They didn’t come from Hell. They aren’t demons.”

Bartholomew arched a brow. “Then where _do_ they come from?”

Dean’s grin was sharp like a knife. “Purgatory. Monsters come from Purgatory because unlike demons not all of them are evil. But some don’t have souls so they can’t exactly go to Heaven either.”

“Interesting speculation but if there is one thing I know; it’s that all of those assholes are evil.”

“Have you met all of them? No? Then you can’t really say that.”

“Look what they are doing. Look at all of the pain and destruction they have caused. If that is not evil then what is?”

“Hey some are total sons of bitches but not all of them. Some are probably just as scared and confused as you are.”

Bartholomew didn’t look impressed with Dean’s point of view at all. “You’re the first person I’ve met to be… _sympathetic_ to those beasts.” His tone was downright accusing. “Why is that?”

Dean pushed his chair away from the table and stood. “Well short answer is my momma raised me not to be a douchebag and judge one thing by the actions of another. Long answer? Go fuck yourself.”

“Dean,” Castiel gasped but he was already storming out the front door. “I’m sorry; I don’t know why he reacted that way.”

“It’s alright.” Bartholomew hunched his shoulders. “Your friend has the look of a man that’s been on the road for too long. He’s probably forgotten what it was like to have a civilized dinner with other people. I’ve seen it with a few of the soldiers that were separated from their unit. They have a hard time reintegrating…some never do.” Pause. “We don’t shun anyone but if his attitude doesn’t change, he might not be a good fit for what we are attempting to build here.”

_That is most distressing._

“Where is Dean going?” Claire clamored off her pillow. “Is dinner over? Dean!” She ran to the door with Inias hot on her heels. “C’mon Cassie we gotta go! Dinner’s over!”

Castiel didn’t bother to argue. “Thank you for a lovely dinner, Bartholomew. We’ll talk later.”

Bartholomew stood and squeezed his shoulder. “Anytime Castiel. My door is always open.”

~+~

Nighttime would be the test Dean decided on whether this whole she-bang worked or not. He honestly wasn’t sure what answer he wanted but he guessed a positive one so Cas and his family would be okay. They were already so attached to the place, to the idea of finally having a home that wasn’t on four wheels. They deserved it. Still being around so many humans just reminded him how much of an outsider he was. How many things he’d forgotten while being locked up in Purgatory. He hadn’t felt that way with Castiel but for reason it was different with all these strangers, looking at him like they could tell he wasn’t one of them.

Like they could tell he was an _other_.

As fucked up as it was for the first time since busting out he missed Purgatory. It was a shit hole of the worst order but it was pure because you knew where you stood for the most part. All you had to worry about was being stronger and faster than the next guy. And he could be himself. He didn’t have to hide behind a mask or keep the creature parts of himself hidden away.

Not to mention he just didn’t _trust_ anybody here. Charlie seemed nice and no one really gave off a bad vibe but he couldn’t shake the feeling of discomfort. What did these dudes really know about keeping people safe? _Could_ they keep Castiel and the twins safe if push came to shove? 

While that preppy ass-hat had been showing Castiel around Dean had been people watching, trying to figure out if any of them were faking. As in pretending to be normal while hiding a beastly side like he was but it was hard to tell on Earth. Smells were different as was body chemistry. But there weren’t many fang heads willing to pull such a long con or put themselves in a situation where they could be overpowered.

Smoothing a hand over his face, he groaned as he thought about the way he’d acted at Bart’s. The guy was just an asshole, a nice asshole but no one with a face that blank could be a good person in the end. He looked like a freaking Ken doll! But Cas seemed to like him so…

That night they kissed and traded sloppy hand jobs in the garage was like a distant memory; at least he figured that was how Castiel wanted it to be. Obviously it was all about getting off and needing a release after so long of going without one. Dean almost wanted to bring it up but there was no real reason to. Nothing had changed between them. His brain told him that was a good thing because now he could make a clean break but he wasn’t so sure that was possible. Still after decades without much of a sex drive at all in Purgatory it felt wonderful to hold someone warm again. He would have fucked Castiel had the twins not been around; had wanted to but oh well. 

What he got was better than nothing.

Who he’d gotten it with was…

Shaking his head, Dean looked at his watch and wondered if he should slip out right now. Most of the hippy commune was bedding down for the night. He could easily talk his way past the soldiers—he’d talked them into letting him keep his gun after all. _I can just leave. Get in my car and never look back._

Soft footsteps caught his attention and he looked over to see Inias and Claire sleepily shuffling to where he stood. He’d miss them when he was gone. A lot. Little buggers had totally done a number on him.

“Dean, are you staying the night?” Inias asked around a big yawn. “We want a story.”

Knowing he should say no but unable to, Dean guided them back to their pillow fort. “Okay let’s see. Once upon a time there was a gangster named…Sam and he was really cool. For the most part. Needed a hair cut real bad but otherwise a stand up kinda guy. Anyway Sam was special like a…wizard and he always used his powers for good. He fought for the little man no matter what and wasn’t scared to put himself in danger for the right cause.” Smiling, he continued. “So one day Sam goes up against this bad dude named Crowley who wanted to own the streets and treat people like crap, and force them to pay money just to stand somewhere. Well Sam was not having that.”

Claire blinked sleepily. “What did he do?”

Dean tucked the blankets around her. “He stood up to Crowley and told him if you don’t get out of my town I’m going to—kick your butt until it’s red and raw. And when Crowley got a smart mouth Sam did just that. He saved the entire town and everybody celebrated. And they all lived happily ever after.”

It didn’t take much to put the kids out when they felt secure Dean discovered because they were basically dozing within minutes. The dim lamp light from the massive generator probably helped too; made them feel like they were in a real place for a change. When he was sure he wouldn’t wake them, he gently got up and went back to the window. Everything was darkness except for their scratch of land. He could see men with guns patrolling the perimeter, their flashlights otherwise tiny specks in the black. There was a spotlight but it had been cut so as not to draw attention to anything.

A hand touched his shoulder and he arched a brow. “What’s up, Cas? What did Saint Bart want?”

Castiel rolled his eyes playfully. “He gave me more blankets just in case the twins get cold. What are you doing?”

Dean folded his arms across his chest. “Standing watch. Old habits die hard I guess.”

Castiel’s eyes were somber but Dean still fell into them effortlessly. “You don’t have to stand watch here. You can rest.”

The burn at the back of his mind said differently. It churned like a windmill, stretching through his limbs with the urge to bust out of his fingertips. He’d say he’d rest when he dies but even that would be a lie. So instead he said, “I will. I’ll get a few hours before morning. You go on…you need it more than I do.”

What was one more lie among the many he’d already told?


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

It was only supposed to be one night to make sure everything was on the up and up. However before Dean realized it about four days had went by with him sulking and skulking around the hotel, watching people and checking for holes in what passed for their security system. It probably wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t for Bart taking up a lot of Castiel’s time with this thing or that random crap thing. Sometimes Dean thought he just showed up to stare at Cas and used supply stocking as an excuse. But Cas never turned him away. He actually liked talking to the asshole; Dean would see them with their heads bent close and chuckling or talking while enjoying a cup of coffee. Looking cozy.

Bart probably wasn’t a bad guy. At least he wasn’t a murderer so that was a tick in the positive column but something about him kind of made Dean want to punch him in the face. Maybe it was his way of saying words or the looks he gave Castiel when he thought no one was paying attention. With nothing in the world he still managed to be up his own ass somehow, taking his role as _host_ to the max.

Dean didn’t talk to him. In fact Dean stayed away from him as much as he could. 

Sitting over on an old wooden bench as people worked around him, Dean dug the heel of his steel toed boot into the grass and watched a pile of sticks burn. He could see Claire and Inias with their new friends playing with a ball they’d found, throwing it back and forth like it was a hot potato. They looked so relaxed like a child should be; far from the teary faces that had made him turn around and help. They’d most likely never be how they were because the world was different now but it was nice to know they could still laugh. That there were still things to laugh about. Yet if they were okay now why was he continuing to hang around?

_Good question._

“You look like you got the devil in you, boy.” Came a rough voice as a middle aged black man with a mustache stepped into view.

Dean arched a brow. “Well if I do maybe you shouldn’t stand so close to me.”

The man laughed and sat down with a low grunt. “I’m too old to be worried about the devil. Names Rufus Turner.”

Dean smiled. “Dean Winchester.” A beat. “So I gotta ask, why do you think I’ve got the devil in me?”

Rufus offered up a lazy grin. “Just your eyes I guess. You look like you’ve seen some heavy shit. Of course everyone here has but how it changes you makes all the difference. Some retreat into themselves and some take the pain in and twist it into strength. The wild ones anyway.”

That actually made sense. “Are you saying you’re a wild one?”

Rufus chuckled. “I’m saying I got a flask of _Johnny Walker Black_ in my jacket pocket and a sawed off shotgun in my bag. And those two things have gotten me through all this bullshit.” He sighed. “You know I had retired and was living a nice quiet life. Puttering around the house every day messing with one thing or another, more or less happy. I was going to get a cappuccino machine the day those assholes burst out of the sky or wherever they came from. Suppose that was a sign I should have never even thought about it.”

Dean snickered; this guy was alright. “But hey you made it here in one piece and now you can relax. Smell the flowers.”

Rufus hummed. “Maybe. But I think we both know _safe_ is relative these days. It’s not what it used to be and as long as those things are out there, no place is really safe. Not for the innocent…”

Dean stared at him. As far as he could tell Rufus was human but he was speaking like a man who knew more than he was letting on. It was uncommon for humans to know anything about the supernatural even before Purgatory opened up…unless you’d already been touched by that sort of darkness. If some stray beasty wandered into your life and screwed it up you’d totally look deeper. Might find something damn interesting if pointed in the right direction.

It was dumb to put it out there but Dean couldn’t help himself. “I thought everyone was innocent to a certain extent. Not the killers and rapists but people in general. I guess only a Hunter would think he’s doomed if he does and doomed if he doesn’t.”

Rufus’ easy demeanor continued but his cheek twitched though he didn’t seem put out. Quite the opposite. “I think seeing what the world has turned into would make a man—or a woman—like that question what the point ever was. Why bother trying to help if this is how it was all going to end up?”

“ _This_ wasn’t how the story was supposed to go.” Dean replied noticing that he apparently knew what a _Hunter_ was. Anyone else would have questioned what going after deer or whatever had to do with thinking the world was doomed. “I don’t know what happened but things were supposed to be normal.”

“Perhaps.” Rufus gazed up at the clouds. “I’d think you’d be happy…considering…”

Dean grew carefully still. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Rufus snorted. “Oh please. Paco you think I was born yesterday? That I don’t know the signs when I see them? You ain’t human. Guessing you got out during the prison break. I’ve been watching you since you got here, waiting to see when you’d start going in on people. Figuring I’d try to stop you when you did. Imagine my surprise when nothing happened. Are you just bidding your time or what?”

Gritting his teeth Dean hissed out, “I don’t _kill_ people. I don’t eat them or have any desire to do anyone any harm.” _Except punch Bart in the face._ “I just helped a friend and his kids get somewhere safe.”

Amused, Rufus reached into his jacket for his flask. “Good to know.”

“How did you know I wasn’t human?”

“The way the sun hit your eyes. Others probably wouldn’t even pay any attention but when you know what to look for…”

Dean grumbled. “So I should invest in some sunglasses?”

Rufus took a swing of whatever he was carrying. “That or keep your head low. I don’t think there are any other Hunters here but with the way things are going, they’d probably shoot first and ask questions later.”

Of course they would, they always did. “Why didn’t you then?”

Shoving the flask back into the pocket of his dark gray member’s only jacket, Rufus sniffed. “I’ve been around for a long time and I’ve seen things no one else would ever believe. People can be monsters just like some monsters can be people. Our work was never as black and white as some thought. I’ve seen critters like you fight against their nature to be something else. To be better.” He fiddled with the swinging silver feather earring in his left ear. “Suppose I thought I owed you the benefit of doubt, especially since those rug rats have taken such a shine to you.”

Glancing to the twins, Dean’s brows narrowed. “Yeah, thanks for that.”

Rufus nudged at his shoulder. “What are you anyway? Gotta be something old school with how mellow you are around all these walking happy meals. You don’t even look tempted.”

Dean had never thought about his species in terms of rare but now that Rufus brought it up, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d ran across someone like himself, not even in Purgatory. “I’m not tempted, not one bit because I don’t people meat. And I think I’ll just keep that to myself in case your charity runs out. Don’t want you looking up ways to kill me.”

“Smart boy.” Rufus exhaled quietly. “But I don’t have any of my books so you’re in the clear. Unless fire or old fashioned bullets do the trick. I think I got some rock salt left to—would that slow you down?”

“Nope.” Dean was smug. “It would just piss me off.”

Rufus laughed. “Okay how about you tell me how you and all these other assholes managed to get topside. One thing I haven’t even able to figure out.”

 _Join the club._ “I don’t know man. One minute I’m knee deep in werewolf brains and the next I’m back on Earth. I can tell you we were in Purgatory.” It was surprising how nice it felt to actually talk about this kind of stuff; to be able to be himself without fear of consequences. “The skies are white there and everything is blood, sweat and shit. Just a bunch of literal monsters fighting almost all day, every day.”

Rufus frowned in confusion. “Purgatory is real? Well ain’t that some shit. I’m guessin’ it ain’t un-baptized floating babies or whatever?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “No. Everything that ain’t human that’s killed on Earth goes to Purgatory…if it’s not a demon. And we were all just…stewing in our own juices with no way out. Time meant shit there—I never knew what day it was. Only knew the years were going by because the clothes and slang kept changing.” Lowering his voice as two women with baskets full of cornstalks went by, he scratched at the scruff on his chin. “Then one day there is this blinding light—like a too bright camera flash—and the next thing I know I’m waking up on Earth.”

Taking in the new information, Rufus leaned to rest his elbows on his thighs. “When was the last time you were here?”

Dean looked at the soldiers milling around. “Nineteen forty-four.”

For some reason that made Rufus let out a loud guffaw that carried across the yard. “What the hell you do to get popped back in 40s?”

Rolling his shoulders Dean murmured, “Nothing. Granted I often found myself on the wrong side of the law but I wasn’t hurting people. Still some Hunter mook found out what I was and that was all she wrote. But time moved differently in Purgatory. Felt like I was there for, hell I don’t know. A century at least.”

“Maybe you were. It being a different plane of existence and all.”

“Yeah. Anyway I won’t lie and say I’m not happy to be out because I am. Just sucks everything had to go to shit for it to happen.”

“I hear that. What do you plan to do now? Stay with your boyfriend and his kids?”

“He—I don’t know. Not like I exactly fit in here. I’m not worried someone will find out me—well I wasn’t until _you_ —but this is a pretty big secret I’m holding onto. The wrong person finds out and it’s gonna cause trouble.”

“They don’t know what you are, do they?”

“No. No reason to freak them out anymore than they already are.”

“Well if you plan to hang around long term you’re probably gonna have to rectify that.”

“Yeah…”

Getting up, Rufus patted his shoulder and walked away without saying anything else over to where a pretty woman in a nurse’s smock was struggling with an armful of mix matched shoes.

That conversation had been the most honest he’d had in a long time and it felt good. He was still shocked it had been with a Hunter but just as monsters had changed, so had they. At least he hoped that was the case. Back in his day you were killed for having fangs even if you never used them. Somewhere along the line a bit of morality apparently had popped up. He couldn’t help but wonder why. Did some dude discover a vegetarian werewolf and spread the word to be on the lookout for more?

Things had continued to arrive in Purgatory on a pretty normal basis but now looking back he could see a few cracks. Nothing to make a real dent because most things that ended up in the cesspool of Purgatory deserved to be there.

_Guess the argument could be made I deserved to be there too. Could have lived a cleaner life. Sure I didn’t kill people by ripping ‘em a part but I did my fair share of it other ways. Paid the cost to be the boss back then…Should have been smarter and watched my back better. Shouldn’t have let that asshole Ness get the drop on me._

_Bu what are you gonna do? What’s done is done._

Shrugging at the collar of his dark green shirt, he stood and made his way back towards the building. Thought about asking some random person if they needed help with anything but decided against it. Knowing his luck he’d get roped into knitting socks or something else as equally boring. With no electricity the elevators didn’t work so he entered the stairwell and took his time getting up to Castiel’s floor, his mind buzzing with different thoughts. Rufus was right though; if he wanted to stay he needed to come clean. Secrets never did anyone any good.

Opening the door to the fourth floor, he gently pushed it back together when he noticed Castiel and Bart standing in the hallway chatting. He knew he should have let his presence be known but he didn’t. Instead he did the next logical thing and eavesdropped.

Castiel was wearing a zip up blue sweater that matched the color of his eyes over a white shirt and khaki pants. He looked rested, the dark circles under his eyes fading and his hair nice and clean. “This plant is fake, yes? We could clean the pot it’s in and use it for something more constructive.”

Bart chuckled. “Sounds like a good idea. Though to be honest I didn’t pull you away from the others to talk about fake plants. I want to know how you’re doing. Are you fitting in with your new peers?”

Castiel nodded. “Yes. It’s surprisingly how well you can get along with someone when you basically have to. But everyone has been very nice, and they think getting some sort of school together for the children is a good idea. As long as I spear head it and do all of the heavy lifting.”

Bart grinned. “Well if you need any help just let me know and I will _personally_ drop whatever I am doing to be of assistance. The children deserve our full attention.”

Castiel smiled. “Thank you. I know you have your hands full.”

“Yes but Charlie would be willing to help out more.” Bart explained happily. “As would her friend Glinda. That’s the kind of community we are putting together here. Everyone plays a part…” Stepping closer, he folded his arms over his black shirt. “Speaking of which your friend, Dean, was it? He’s been very standoffish. Do you know why?”

“Dean…is a very complex individual. I can’t speak as to why he might seem closed off but I’m sure he has a good reason.” Castiel replied softly. “All I know is that he has protected me and mine; he’s a good man.”

“Oh I’m sure he is.” Bart said soothingly, with all the charm of a snake oil salesman. “I just don’t want people to become concerned. I’d hate for there to be a vote and your boyfriend be forced to leave.”

“Dean isn’t my boyfriend.” Pause. “I will talk to him however. Make sure everything is okay.”

Bart’s expression lightened. “I assumed you and he were together. I know this is probably the most terrible time to say this but lately I’ve learned we shouldn’t hold things in while waiting for the right moment. So with that in mind...how would you like to have dinner with me? Officially.”

Castiel blinked. “Officially? You mean as in a date?” Bart nodded with a bright smile. “I—” Falling silent, he stared into the middle distance for a long moment before squaring his shoulders. “I would like that.”

The talk continued but Dean shut the door having heard enough. Castiel was getting along well and was evidently liked by a lot of people. Bart was probably lying his ass off but if the others were “concerned” about _his_ behavior then it was time to move on. He wasn’t about to give them the satisfaction of telling him that he had to leave. Besides he had a mission of his own and now that Cas and the kids were safe, hell happy even, he needed to get back to it. He needed to find Sam and map out some sort of long term game plan for the rest of their lives. 

They were stronger together.

And it wasn’t like he was cut out for anything remotely normal anyway. Perhaps once upon a time but not anymore. Not in _years_. But he would miss Cas and the twins especially when he was out on the road watching some poor schlub get gutted by a shape shifter. Least he wouldn’t be tempted to help though…

Anyhow for the next few hours Dean kept himself hidden the best he could, slipping in and out of storage areas to steal a few things for the road. By the time it was getting dark he decided it was time to stop dicking around and face the piper. He made his way to Castiel’s home and rapped on the door, smiling when Claire pulled it open so that he could duck inside.

“Dean. Where have you been all day?” Castiel inquired upon noticing him. “I haven’t seen you since breakfast.”

“Yeah I was uh—just looking around. Making sure things were okay. And everything seems good.” He said truthfully. “I’ve—well I’ve come to say goodbye.”

Claire looked up at him. “Goodbye? You’re leaving? Why?”

He smoothed a hand across her head. “There is some stuff I gotta do go out there. Besides you and your brother and your Uncle are safe now. You don’t need me anymore.”

Apparently that wasn’t true. “Yes we do! Inias, tell Dean we need him!”

Inias crawled out from under his pillow fort. “We do! We do! You don’t hafta leave, Dean!”

Dean smiled and lowered to their level, knees hitting the plush carpet. “Wow that makes me feel really good. Hey, I promise to come back and visit as soon as I can okay?”

Claire pouted sadly. “But—but what if you’re hurt out there all alone! Can’t you stay with us? Please?”

Swallowing hard, he wet his lips. “C’mon now I fought a scary thing with claws to save you. I’m going to be fine. I—I would stay but there is someone I need to find. Someone that might need my help just like you guys needed it. And if I don’t at least look for them I’ll always feel like I should have. Does that make sense?”

“I guess.” She whispered and lowered her gaze. “We’re gonna miss you.”

“Lots.” Inias chimed in. “Lots and lots and lots. What if we never see you again?”

“You will. I promise and I don’t break a promise.” He opened his arms. “C’mere.”

Both children fell against him and hugged him tight, their little arms squeezing around his shoulders and neck to the point of almost cutting off his air but Dean didn’t care. He buried his face into their hair and hugged them back, eyes closing of their own volition and searing this memory into his mind for years to come. Some things you never forgot no matter how happy or how painful. That was probably even truer when you lived forever. The important stuff had a habit of sticking with you.

_You could stay. Sam is probably fine; he’s good at taking care of himself._

_…but what if he wasn’t? What if he needs your help and you’re here watching Bart and Cas date while playing babysitting for them?_

Kissing their temples, he smiled and looked at them for a minute before removing the two leather corded bracelets he wore. They’d survived most of his life and Purgatory; a gift from someone he’d once loved dearly. It wasn’t easy parting with them but he felt he could do it. “I want you guys to keep these for me.” He wrapped one around each of their tiny wrists. “Until I come back. Can you do that?”

“Yes!” They exclaimed in unison.

“Good.” Exhaling, he stood and looked to Castiel who watched on quietly. “Do you…want to keep my book of symbols? Or at least the page with the protection runes? I know them by heart so…”

Castiel shook his head. “I don’t think the locals would look too kindly on me painting the walls in my blood. But thank you for the offer.”

Dean chuckled silently. “Right. Well I guess I should be hitting the road. Got a lot of ground to cover and I’m not sure where to start.”

Castiel’s eyes looked sad. “Do you not want to wait until morning? It would be safer.”

 _Yeah but if I don’t leave now…_ “I don’t mind the dark. ‘Sides you’ve got enough on your plate without adding worrying about me to the mix.” Before Castiel could reply, he continued. “I’ll be fine. I know how to take care of myself.”

Castiel managed a small smile. “I believe you. Please be safe Dean. I am forever grateful and in your debt for what you have done for my family and I. We wouldn’t be here without you. I’m not sure we would even be alive if not for you.”

Dean grinned. “I don’t know, you’re a scrappy dude Cas. You’d give those bitches a run for their money at least.” Reaching behind him, he pulled a gun from the band of his jeans and handed it over. “I’d feel better if I knew you had this though. Just don’t let _the others_ see it or they might cause a fuss.”

Taking the gun and holding it awkwardly, Castiel placed it up on the mantle presumably so the twins couldn’t reach it. “The soldiers don’t like for the civilians to have weapons but I will keep this near me. Hopefully I won’t need it.”

“I hope you don’t either.” Picking up his bag from the corner that contained mostly clothes, he sighed. “You guys be good for your Uncle, yeah? Look out for him.”

Claire and Inias barreled into him to hug his waist and legs. “We will,” Claire said tearfully.

“Bye Dean.” Inias whispered. “We’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you guys too.” He replied with full honesty. “I’ll come back and visit when I can.”

With one last hug they let him go and he smiled, then turned and headed for the door. He stepped out into the hallway, glad to find it empty for a change. He didn’t want anyone running to tattle on him. “You’re going to be okay here, Cas?” It came out as a question even though he didn’t mean for it to be.

Castiel leaned against the doorsill. “I think so. There are—the people are nice and the area is well protected. I will be vigilant though.”

Dean snickered. “Yeah I suppose you have Bart now to…show you the ropes.”

Castiel arched a brow. “He has been accommodating.”

 _Oh I’ll bet._ “Right. Anyway it was nice meeting you and traveling with you. And I do plan to come back and check up on you guys. I’ll be mad if you’re not in one piece so you better be.”

Castiel smiled. “I will keep that in mind. Goodbye Dean. Or perhaps see you later you be more appropriate.”

Gazing at him and his stupid pretty blue eyes, Dean decided fuck it and closed the space between them to kiss him. He threaded his fingers into Castiel’ dark hair and pressed his mouth to his, sliding his tongue past his lips when he let out a small gasp. Dean wasn’t sure what the point was besides something he just wanted to do. He was leaving and he wanted to kiss Castiel. Wanted to press him back against the door and suck gently on his tongue before biting his bottom lip, feeling his elegant fingers dig into his sides. So he did it. He nibbled and sucked and allowed himself to be greedy for a fleeting moment before pulling away, trying to ignore the shot of arousal at the sight of Castiel, lips slightly pink and swollen from his mouth.

“Bye Cas.”

Dean was walking down the hallway and into the stairwell before Castiel could get his wits about him. He stalked like a man on a mission and no one bothered him or stopped him. Maybe it was a wuss thing to do but he didn’t want to talk about what it meant or what it _could_ have meant. None of it mattered this time around.

Getting to the Impala, he tossed his bag into the backseat and climbed behind the wheel. Started the engine and drove down the driveway until coming to the roadblock where the soldiers manned.

When one tapped on the window he rolled it down. “Yeah?”

“What are you doing?” Asked a boy probably no older than twenty-one, gripping his M-4 tightly.

Dean rubbed a hand across his face. “Leaving.”

The boy—Private First Class Killian—blinked. “Why would you want to do that?”

Dean shrugged. “I just do. I’m not being forced to stay here, am I?”

Killian appeared uneasy. “Well no but we—we’ve just never had someone want to leave once getting here.”

“I get that but I need to leave. Need to go find someone if I can.” Dean told him. “So you gonna let me go or do I have to get out of the car?”

“No, no you can go.” He waved him on. “Uh good luck I guess. Seems like you’ll need it.”

Dean nodded and slowly edged passed the other soldiers when they stepped out of the way, giving him the same confused expression Killian had. His eyes glanced to the rearview mirror when he was free and clear, watching the hotel and the people getting smaller and smaller. It was quiet in the car again, no tiny voices chattering or Castiel letting off soft snores in the front seat. But that was okay. He’d come through on his end of the deal…such as it was. Everyone was safe. How he felt about it now didn’t matter.

Topping over a hill, Dean pushed down on the gas and watched the speedometer tick higher and higher. It was time to move on.

~+~

The sofa didn’t turn out into a bed and it was inconvenient but Castiel wasn’t about to whine about it. The twins would have no issues sleeping on the cushions on the floor, especially since they preferred to be in their fort anyway. But instead of playing and giggling with one another they were slouched on his bed simply watching as he folded a few bags of laundry for a woman named Patricia who suffered from arthritis. It didn’t take a genius to know what had them so melancholy. He found that he could relate; he’d been unhappy to see Dean leave as well. Although it was something he’d expected since the beginning, now that it had happened it almost felt surreal. Especially since he left so quickly.

But perhaps more pressing on his mind was the kiss Dean had left him with. The first bit of intimate contact since their night in that garage, a night he’d assumed Dean either wanted to forget or cared nothing about. However that kiss was—it was passionate and poignant. As if Dean wanted to carve the memory of his person into Castiel’s bones. It almost spoke of something more; something fragile that had never had the chance to fully develop.

_Of course that could be just wishful thinking._

At any rate he prayed that Dean stayed safe and that one day not too far off he kept his promise and returned.

If that day happened Castiel knew he would ask Dean to stay. To settle down and lead a quiet life because he deserved it. He deserved peace.

Tucking the sleeves of the shirt in his hands together, he place it gingerly back in the bag and pulled the ties together. Finished he carried it out and set it by his door in the hallway, jerking when Bartholomew was suddenly standing in front of him. “Oh. Hello. I did not hear you come up.”

Bartholomew smiled. “My apologizes. I’m actually here for this. You’re a saint to help out the way that you do. Patricia can’t stop talking about the nice young man willing to take on some of her chores for her.”

Castiel hummed. “Well it’s no hardship for me. Besides I want to be useful.”

Bartholomew nodded. “When you become our primary teacher you can do less though. I doubt anyone would have anything to say about it. Speaking of jobs how is Dean with a shovel? We need volunteers for the digging on an additional well.”

Castiel cleared his throat. “Dean left.”

Bartholomew blinked. “Left? As in left the community?” 

“Yes.” Castiel said. “He’s been gone about two hours now.”

“Why on Earth would he _leave_?” Bartholomew inquired flabbergasted. “Who would actively want to be out there with the way things are now? It’s beyond dangerous.”

“I don’t know.” Castiel admitted. “He said there was something he needed to find.”

“I see.” Bartholomew murmured. “It’s odd but on the other hand I suppose it’s for the best. He didn’t seem to be fitting in here and there are other communities like ours out there somewhere. Perhaps he’ll take up at one of those.”

Castiel stepped back into his new home. “Perhaps. Anyway I should get the twins ready for bed.”

Bartholomew grinned and picked up the bag of clothes. “Oh yes of course. We’ll talk more tomorrow.” And then he was leaning forward to kiss Castiel’s cheek. “Sweet dreams.”

Castiel echoed the same and closed the door, pinching the bridge of his nose. He liked Bartholomew and they had wonderful conversations together but there was something…missing. When he thought about Dean and how warm he’d felt while shuddering in his arms he couldn’t help but wonder could Bartholomew make him feel the same someday? Would their date ultimately lead to a real relationship where they moved in together and eventually made love? Would Claire and Inias end up taking to him like they had to Dean? He supposed he would just have to wait and see what the future held. Bartholomew was nice and he was interested which was more than he’d had in quite a while.

Bartholomew wouldn’t deny his attraction or avoid it. No he appeared to be steam rolling ahead with it and it _did_ feel nice to be desired, even in all of this madness.

“Claire? Inias? It’s time for bed.” He called, lowering the lamp lights. One by one he put the couch cushions on the floor and used pillows to create a sort of comfortable nest for them.

“Do we get a story?” Inias asked.

“Why can’t we sleep with you?” Claire wanted to know instead.

He sat down on a cushion and bid them closer. They’d actually been sleeping out here since the second day they arrived. “If you really feel you need to you can, but I think you’ll be okay in your own bed.” Pause. “I know you miss Dean. I miss him too. And of course you get a story.”

Claire snuggled his right side while her brother snuggled his left. “Do you think we’ll see Dean again?”

“I do.” He said kissing the top of her head. “He’s a good friend to us now and good friends do what they say they will do. One day when we least expect it he’ll show up. I’m sure he’ll also have something for us.”

Inias wiggled his legs. “Like presents? But where would he get them?”

Castiel smiled. “I don’t know, but Dean is a very resilient man. And he’s not afraid to take on a challenge.”

Claire pulled at her ponytail. “Tell us a story about Dean, Cassie. With a happy ending. And mermaids.”

Castiel laughed lightly. “That is a tall order but I think I can swing it. Let’s see… Once upon a time there was—”

Suddenly the silence of outside was broken by several loud popping sounds happening in quick succession. Castiel wet his lips and stood, migrating over to the window to see what was going on. The moment he pushed back the thick curtain the dark was lit up by spotlights jerking this way and that with soldiers shooting at things he couldn’t see. Screams rang out and he jerked, watching as barrels burning trash were knocked over, pieces of burning debris rolling under cars and onto the green grass. It didn’t take long for anything to catch and before he could blink a small Jetta was on fire. The second the flames hit the gas tank it exploded with a loud boom, the force strong enough to send tires flying into the air. He barely had time to throw himself to the floor as the windows shattered inwardly, raining hot pieces of glass down around him.

The twins screamed and Castiel shook away the muggy feeling surrounding his head as he crawled over to them. He had no idea what was going on but he knew they _had_ to move. If Dean had taught him anything it was that just sitting around waiting to be rescued was akin to being a sitting duck. “Hey, it’s okay. Grab anything you can. We’re not staying here.”

Scrambling to obey, Claire and Inias dumped the pillows out of their cases and started shoving whatever they could into them. Castiel got up and grabbed his own bag, flinching at the sounds of people realizing something was very, _very_ wrong. He could hear them a floor below shouting at each other and moving around like they were wearing concrete shoes; their footsteps heavy and harsh. And then something shrieked; angry and very much inhuman.

They were under attack.

“Go.” Castiel picked up the gun Dean had left for him and fumbled to turn off the safety. Guns had never been his thing but he was a quick study. “We have to go. Stick close to me, alright? I know you’re scared but I’m going to protect you.”

“We’ll protect you too!” Inias said though his face was red and his eyes were wide with fright. “We’ll be brave!”

“We will!” Claire took a hold of her brother’s hand.

In that moment he wanted nothing more than to bundle them up into his arms and smother them with kisses. They were being so strong and honestly had this sort of thing happened when he was a child, he wasn’t sure how he would have reacted. He didn’t know how they were keeping it together right now but he was thankful for it. He was thankful for them and every second they managed to continue to have together. When they were safe he would—well he wasn’t sure what he would do beyond hugs but he’d think of something nice for them.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door to find people already running in a blind panic. They were yelling about monsters coming across the parking lot and entering the lobby, killing and eating anyone they could get their hands on. _What are we going to do? How will we get to the ground floor if the area is already overrun?_

“Everyone calm down and head to the basement!” Someone—Glinda maybe?—shouted. “You’ll be safe there!”

Castiel wasn’t sure a basement would be able to protect them but he didn’t have much of a choice. When the crowd rushed towards the stairs it was either blend in or get crushed in the panic. So he had Claire and Inias hold tight to his belt loops as they were ushered along by a few soldiers with everyone else. There was pushing and crying, their nice little community suddenly out for themselves and apparently fine to almost trample two small children and the elderly.

By some miracle they reached the third floor and then the second without incident but that was when things changed. A guttural shriek echoed in the stairwell as something began grabbing people from the very back of the crowd, ripping into them and spraying their blood across the walls. It was unlike anything Castiel had ever heard before and never wanted to hear again; the squishing of the flesh and spurting of the blood. As the group shoved towards the door he managed to glance back just in time to see a deformed looking young woman in a tattered leather jacket with white eyes sink her jagged fangs into the throat of some terrified man. He flailed and they disappeared out of sight.

The door to the second floor was wrenched open and Castiel tumbled through with everyone else. The mob scattered in the hallway with some running into the first rooms they came to. Others broke anything they could to use as a weapon. Two soldiers pushed a bookcase in front of the stairwell door, jumping back when something large started throwing itself against it. Castiel noticed Don Stark and another man prying open the elevator door to gaze down the vacant shaft. They were obviously trying to figure out a way down without getting hurt.

“What do we do now?” One woman cried.

“We’re all going to die!” Screeched a bald man still in his bathrobe.

“People please! We—we have everything under control!” Private First Class Killian moved in front of the window and threw up both arms. “If you would just calm down, we’re going to—”

It happened quickly. A giant black wolf-like creature sailing through the glass and tackling Killian to the floor, closing its massive jaws around the poor young man’s head and taking it clean off with one chomp. The hysteria ramped up to a thousand as two more wolves the size of boulders burst through the window, growling and snarling with bright red eyes. People ran and the monsters pounced, pulling one woman in half, fighting over the parts like a couple of playful puppies.

Castiel shoved the twins behind him and raised his gun about to fire when Bartholomew rounded a corner with a shotgun in his hands, shooting wildly but hitting his target. The shells didn’t exactly stop the wolves but they did send them down another hallway and out of sight. Probably just to regroup however.

Bartholomew stepped over the gory mess that was Killian. “Castiel! Oh thank God you are alright! I was trying to make my way up to you.” He hurried over and pulled Castiel into a hug. “We have to go _now_! It’s not safe out here in the open.”

Castiel agreed. “But go where? I do not think a simple basement will stop any of these creatures from getting in if they really want to.”

Bartholomew cocked his gun. “Maybe not but we have more weapons down there, big ones. At least we’ll stand a fighting chance.”

With no other options Castiel nodded and followed Bartholomew the way he’d came towards a small set of stairs that the janitor used to get around. He kept the twins close and his gun lifted, hearing the footsteps of a few other people behind him. 

The first floor was…well it looked like a battlefield. Guts and blood and torn flesh littered the corridor, splattered on the walls, the ceiling and squished into the carpet. There were severed limbs and caved in skulls—it was enough to almost make Castiel dry heave. He knew it was silly but he clamped his hands over Inias and Claire’s eyes, shushing them when they protested.

“You don’t want to see this. _I_ don’t want you to see this.” He whispered as he guided them along. “I have you. Just walk.”

Bartholomew turned in a slow circle, eyes darting to the flickering lights. “Don’t worry kids. It’s okay. I think whatever was down here has moved on.”

“How can you be sure?” Castiel inquired, the hair on the back of his neck prickling.

“It’s bad to say but…there is nothing left to eat here.” Bartholomew said lowly. “Okay the basement door is just passed the kitchen. If we keep quiet I think we can make it. Let’s go.”

No sooner had Bartholomew turned back around than a gnarled hand punched through his chest and out his back with his heart nestled between crooked fingers. Everyone screamed and took off running the way they’d came; Castiel gasped in horror and all but hauled the children backwards with him, ignoring them frantic cries of what’s happening.

Bartholomew made a horrible gurgle and then went limp, crumbling to the floor like wet dirt. The creature hissed and choked down his heart whole, a forked tongue slipping out to lick its chops when it was done. It looked vaguely female with large beasts and something like hair but it had a swishing tale and cloven feet.

Castiel didn’t even think about it, he fired his gun, hitting the thing in the chest and stomach. Unfortunately his bullets had no effect and the monster lunged at him; he barely had time to push the twins out of the way. It slashed him across the chest and flung him to the ground as they screamed and cowered in a corner. He couldn’t look away as it crouched over him, brandishing rows upon rows of sharp glistening teeth. It lifted one misshapen hand still wet with Bartholomew’s blood and Castiel realized he was about to die. This thing was going to rip out his heart and eat it before undoubtedly turning on Claire and Inias.

He’d failed them. 

He’d failed them all.

The hand was coming down fast when all of a sudden fingers wrapped around its skinny wrist, holding on tight. The pale skin started to sizzle and singe and just like that the monster was yanked off of him as it burst into smoky flames, burning up into nothing but black smoldering ash in a matter of seconds, wailing as it died.

Panting, Castiel jerked his eyes up and nearly swallowed his tongue. Standing over him with glowing eyes red like twin coals of fire was Dean, hand covered in soot. “Oh God. Yo—you’re…not human.”

Dean’s jaw visibly tightened but he didn’t deny the accusation because there was no need. He’d just burnt that monster alive with his bare hands! _All this time…_ “It’s not safe here.” He growled out instead. “More of those assholes are coming so we need to go.”

Castiel stared at him; the man he’d put his faith into to get him and his family somewhere safe. At the man he’d kissed and touched who wasn’t actually a man at all. “I—” His eyes darted to Claire and Inias who were trembling, surrounded by so much grotesque destruction.

Not waiting for an answer, Dean pulled him to his feet. He felt sticky, having landed in a puddle of someone’s blood.

“You gotta trust me Cas.” Dean gave him a little shake. “I know what you saw is fucking with your head right now and if you want me to I’ll explain. But if I don’t get you and your kids out of here you _will_ die. And it won’t be pretty.”

“Claire, Inias.” Castiel reached for them and they ran into his arms, watching Dean warily. Suspiciously with a touch of fear that had never been there before. “It’s time to go.”


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

The headache pounding behind Castiel’s eyes was but a nuisance to the carnage around him. Upstairs the screams of men and women and— _Jesus_ — children floated down from the ceiling and through the walls. He wished he could help them. He wished there was something he could do but there wasn’t. He was hanging on by a slim thread trying to take care of his own family. And then of course there was Dean standing in front of him covered in blood and ashes, looking normal and yet so completely not. His eyes still had that inhuman red tinge as they jerked around presumably looking for an exit.

_How did I miss this? Were there signs? Did I just ignore them?_

“The Wendigo.” He found himself saying. “How you were able to fight it and win…”

Dean blinked and his eyes were green again. “Now is not the time, Cas. Those things are everywhere and I can’t afford to take you downstairs. I can’t fight all of them _and_ keep you safe.” Frowning, he turned and pointed to the window. “C’mon this way.”

Slowly Castiel pulled Claire and Inias behind him though they put no up resistance. “That is a steep drop. The twins could break something.”

Dean kicked out the broken glass shards and gazed down. “I’ll catch them. It might rattle your bones but you’ll survive.”

Castiel sighed. “I suppose we don’t have any other choice.”

Dean went still. “Not if you want to live.” 

He was reaching for the windowsill when a new voice shouted, “Hey! Get away from them!” A short man with a ginger-colored beard pointed a rifle he’d no doubt taken from a dead soldier directly at Dean. “Don’t go with him he’s a monster!”

Dean grunted. “I’m on your side dumbass!”

The man’s hands shook. “Fuck you! I saw what you did! Killed one of your buddies so you could have his food! Well you won’t get me! You won’t get me!” He opened fire and Claire screamed, hiding her face.

The bullets struck Dean in the stomach but he barely flinched. He picked up the nearest vase and threw it, hitting the man upside the head and knocking him out cold.

“Dean.” Castiel grabbed his arm in alarm.

“I’m okay.” He winced. “But that noise won’t have done us any good. Let’s go.” Without another word he jumped out of the window and landed gracefully on the grass.

Even if Castiel had misgivings about the entire situation there was nothing he could do but coax Claire to the window. “It’s okay sweetheart. Dean _will_ catch you.”

She wiped at her wet face. “But he—he’s a monster. What if—if he tries to eat me?”

Castiel’s heart splintered. “Hey, Dean would never, ever do that. Remember how he said some monsters were good? Well he was talking about himself I guess. He’s going to take us away from here to someplace safe.”

Lower lip trembling, she let herself be dangled along the side of the building and then unceremoniously dropped into Dean’s awaiting arms. He caught her easily and gently set her down, motioning for Inias to go next. Inias clung to Castiel for a minute before letting out a hitching breath and following his sister. He too was caught without issue and placed next to Claire, the pair of them not sure if they wanted to hold onto Dean’s leg or stand far away from him, ultimately deciding on a safe middle ground.

Unable to stop himself, Castiel glanced back to the scattered dead behind him, his eyes settling on Bartholomew’s mangled corpse. This was supposed to be their second chance; a place where they could start new lives and be happy. Now he knew the truth however—such a place did not exist anymore. It was either the road or death. Swallowing hard, he climbed out of the window and hung onto the ledge, trying to lessen the amount he would fall. Letting go wasn’t easy but he did it, gasping when strong arms wrapped around his waist and took the brunt of his descent. A sharp pain jolted his feet when they hit the ground but he could endure it. Least nothing felt broken.

Dean released him almost immediately and made a beeline for the Impala that was parked slanted not too far away. Castiel could see other creatures running past the burning fires; some being gunned down by the soldiers left alive. One had managed to get to the Saw and was rapid firing anything that moved; the ribbon of rounds being expelled as fast as they were fed in.

Something that was once a man—his face now smeared with blood—leapt out in front of Dean with a cry but Dean just slammed a hand into his chest and burned him into cinders. Castiel stepped on its bones to finally reach the car.

They piled inside quickly—the twins in the front because it was simpler—and the tires squealed loudly as Dean roared out of the parking lot hitting anything in their path.

“Here.” He shoved a gun into Castiel’s hands. “Shoot out the window! If I keep this up one might come through the windshield.”

Castiel obeyed, not certain if he was hitting anything but leaning out and firing anyway. It did seem to clear the way a little and he was beyond thankful for that. When the gun clicked empty he placed it in the floor and rolled the window back up. The Impala was going so fast that the seats were humming but it was taking them farther and farther away from danger so Castiel would not complain. He pulled the twins into his lap and gently rocked them from side to side, hushing their low whimpers. His heart was thudding painfully against his rib cage. Yet as the adrenaline begin to subside, the wounds on his chest started to burn and alert their presence. 

_Please don’t be poisonous._

Slouching, he allowed himself to look at Dean. What was he? Did he really look so human or was he able to change himself? How was he able to burn things like that? Was he dangerous and if so, should they run from him the moment they had a chance? _But where would we go?_

The silence was filled with tension as they drove for what felt like hours until Dean spotted a small farmhouse with a red barn behind it. He turned down the bumpy dirt road and pulled directly into the barn, getting out to quickly fetch a bucket of water from a small well before closing the doors and covering them in symbols with his own blood.

He even put them on the car to ensure a second level of security for them.

Once he was done he made a tiny fire and retrieved a lantern from his trunk. Castiel could see stars through the broken slats of the ceiling; it would have been a lovely night a few months ago.

Dean sat down tiredly on a brown crate and made sure there was no errant straw near the flames. “You have questions…”

Castiel wanted to say that was a polite way of putting it. “What _are_ you?”

Dean stared at the flames. “I’m a phoenix. Like the Greek bird but obviously not a bird.”

Castiel sunk down onto an old piece of machinery with the twins cuddled close. “And you were born this way?”

Dean nodded slowly. “Yeah. My mom was a phoenix so…”

_This is a lot to take in._ “How did you know we were in trouble? Di—did you tell those other creatures?”

Frowning, Dean huffed. “Of course I didn’t. I smelled them before I saw them. When I realized where they were headed and how big a horde it was I turned around and just hoped I got back in time. I’m not like them; I don’t kill for sport or food.”

Exhaustion hitting him all at once, Castiel resisted the urge to list to the side. “Why didn’t you tell us what you were? That you were a…phoenix.”

Dean took off his jacket and tossed it aside. “If I had told you, wouldn’t you have reacted badly? The only monsters you guys had seen were the growly, bite-y kind. Why would you have thought I was any different?”

Castiel scowled. “Perhaps I would have reacted badly but you still should have told us. How can we ever trust you again?”

“By my actions.” Dean replied vehemently. “If I wanted to hurt you I could have and there would have been nothing you could do to stop me. But like I said I’m not violent. I never have been. I’ve lived among humans my entire life until—well until I ended up in Purgatory.” Pause. “What I am doesn’t define me. I was born this way and I couldn’t change it even if I wanted to.”

Castiel licked his lips. While there was still a lingering fear over what Dean was, he had to admit he spoke the truth. Even with this new development Dean had never given them a reason not to trust him. Oh rather he’d never done anything considered suspicious towards them. In fact he’d risked his life to save Claire. He’d risked his life to save all of them.

“You’re hurt.” Dean motioned to his chest. “I can check you out if—if you want?”

“Okay.” Castiel said softly and slowly removed his shirt. “I don’t think it’s that bad though.”

Dean recovered his first aid kit and delicately set about cleaning up the two angry looking slashes across Castiel’s chest. His touch was light, no doubt on purpose to seem as less imposing as possible. “Nah you don’t even need stitches. I’ll tape them up though so they won’t get dirty and infected.”

The alcohol burned and Castiel gritted his teeth. “What about you? You…were shot.”

Dean hummed, preoccupied. “Bullets can’t kill me though they do hurt like a bitch. I’ll dig ‘em out after I’m done with you.”

Claire—who watched the proceedings with interest—scooted closer. “Dean. Are you a monster?”

Dean appeared hurt but he smiled anyway. “In a way. Um, because of my mom I can do things that normal people can’t do. Like burn up bad guys with my hands if I want.”

She played with a handful of straw. “Your eyes were red!”

He chuckled. “Yeah they do that sometimes when I get really upset.”

Inias decided to jump in. “You don’t eat people, right?”

Dean smirked. “No I do not eat people. Cheeseburgers though are another story. Guys what it basically boils down to is that I suppose I’d say I’m special. I can do special things that will sometimes make me look different, but I’m not a bad person. Not like the things you’ve came into contact with.”

As he bandaged Castiel’s wounds, Castiel tilted his head. “How did you end up in Purgatory then?”

Dean made a face. “It’s where all non humans go when they die whether good or bad. We sort of languish there for eternity. Or we would have if we hadn’t been spit out with bodies back on Earth. To be honest I’m in just as much danger as anyone else from those assholes. I might not be human but I’m still meat. They’d eat me just as fast as they’d eat you.”

Inias gasped and Castiel rubbed his shoulders. “Cassie said you would never hurt us. Is that true?”

Dean met his big blue eyes. “That is one hundred percent true. You and Claire and your Uncle are like the only friends I have out there. I’d never do anything to hurt any of you. I promise.”

Claire asked, “Can you fly?”

Laughing, Dean finished up with his treatment of Castiel and then tossed him a shirt out of his duffle. “I can but believe it or not I don’t like to. Not down with heights.”

Castiel arched a brow. “You can _actually_ fly? So you have wings?”

Poking at his bullet holes, Dean grunted distractedly. “I do.”

“Can we see ‘em?” Inias inquired, eyes wide.

“Will you burn something for us?” Claire asked excitedly.

Castiel could tell Dean was eager to prove himself to the children, to show them that he was not a threat. He spied a piece of wood over in the corner and gripped it tight, showing them as it started to smoke before turning into nothing but ashes. Claire and Inias watched transfixed, hesitantly reaching out to touch his fingers and then giggling when nothing happened.

With a few pained grimaces Dean stripped off his two shirts and rolled his shoulders; Castiel could hear the bones cracking but his eyes were drawn to the bullet holes dotting Dean’s chest and stomach. About five in total. Yet he was surprised when two large wings sprung forth, the feathers different shades of red, the tips throwing sparks like a match that had just been lit.

“Only the eldest has wings.” Dean mused with a slight blush. “Or the first born I guess. My baby brother doesn’t have any.”

The kids were in awe. “Can we touch them?” Claire stood up. “You’re like a fairy!”

Dean snorted but dropped to his knees in front of her. “Bit more badass than that I hope.”

Rubbing the gooseflesh on his upper arms, Castiel watched as Claire and then Inias gave Dean’s feathers a stroke. He had to admit there was something ethereal about Dean and now the otherworldly wafted off of him in waves. But he looked shy; quietly pleased that the twins didn’t appear to be _that_ afraid of him. They were still kind of wary but their curiosity was obviously getting the better of them. Perhaps they were even remembering all the good that Dean had done for them.

Stretching his wings to full length, Dean looked at him. “You wanna…”

Castiel would be lying if he said he didn’t want to touch them. “If you don’t mind.”

Dean gestured to them. “I don’t. Whatever helps you see I’m still…me.”

_In that case…_ “Alright.” Castiel reached out and smoothed his fingers over the flight feathers. They were warmer than he’d expected and so soft. “This is very surreal. And I still have a lot of questions.”

Dean nodded with a shiver. “Ask me anything you want, Cas. I’ll tell you the truth. You deserve it.”

Castiel dragged his hand along Dean’s tattoo and down to one of the bullet holes. “Do you want to get these out first?” He wasn’t allowing himself to focus on Dean’s wings or how incredibly sexy he looked with them. It was better to not be distracted until the air was completely clean.

“I can talk and dig.” Dean grabbed his hand and squeezed his fingers. “I’ve done it before. So, what do you wanna know first? If it’s about my ruggedly handsome face I can say this is how I always look. Nothing under this skin but a skeleton.”

He was trying to lighten the mood and Castiel was thankful for it. Finding a rag, he dipped it in the bucket of water and slowly went about cleaning Dean’s face and neck of filth. It was probably more for himself since Dean didn’t seem to mind being dirty. But Castiel wanted to know he could touch Dean and that nothing would happen. That without warning he wouldn’t turn into some beast and start stripping and clawing at his flesh. As much as it unnerved him—the things he’d witnessed inside the hotel—he wasn’t an idiot. Human or phoenix, there was warmth in Dean. A beautiful blinding light that he tried to hide for whatever reason. It would have been easy for him to keep driving and not risk his life once again for the Novaks but he’d done the opposite. Revealed himself against that creature knowing it would go awry. Castiel could have ended up attacking him or that man could have seriously injured him but he’d done it anyway. He was selfless that way.

“Cas?” Dean questioned quietly, wings curving forward as if reaching out before folding against his back. “I’d ask if everything is okay but I know that would be dumb. If—if this bothers you, you don’t gotta humor me.”

Snapping back into the moment, Castiel focused on the ashes dotting his collar bone. “So, when you say phoenix you don’t mean the proverbial bird that is born again from its own ashes. How are you different besides the obvious?”

Dean gazed at him contemplatively but said, “The getting reborn thing doesn’t happen. I guess we’re sort of descendents of an actual phoenix but we only got the fire and the wings. And the immortality. I can be killed with the right weapon but I won’t die from old age or sickness. And when I say right weapon I mean something I’ve only come into contact with once.”

Castiel’s brows arched as Dean dug into his chest with two fingers, rooting around until he was able to yank out a bloody bullet. “Alright. Get me some pliers and sit down.”

Smirking, Dean did as asked and then sat down in front of the fire. His beautiful wings disappeared and he leaned back on his hands. “Yes sir. You ever done this before?”

“No. But it seems fairly straight forward.” Castiel mused. “Let me know if I hurt you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Dean replied flippantly. 

That was impossible. Bringing the lantern closer, Castiel steadied his hands and got to work. “Besides this weapon, you are invincible?

Dean somehow managed to keep his breathing even and body still. “Mostly. Yet for well…iron. I can’t cross it or touch it because it burns me.”

Castiel paused, tip end of the pliers hovering over Dean’s skin. “Ironic that you could be _burned_ by anything.” He wet his lips when he felt the bullet and tried to pull it out as quickly as he could to lessen the pain. “Have you had to do _this_ a lot?”

Curling his hands into tight fists, Dean groaned under his breath. “Once or twice over the years. More so in the forties when people tended to shoot first and ask questions later. But you’re doing good, Cas.”

Castiel was not certain that was true but he continued anyway having committed himself to the task. Making idle conversation with Dean was just a bit harder than it used to be and not because he was digging around inside of him. It was just odd—the whole situation was odd. However there was a bright side and it was everyone he cared about was safe and sound. Whatever Dean was it wouldn’t be out of character to also call him a hero.

Heroes were selfless and they saved people. Apparently even non-humans could be heroes these days.

About fifteen minutes later Dean was bullet free and healing and making his way back from inside of the farmhouse with an armful of things he’d stolen. Several thick blankets, a couple of cans of food, a few jackets and a shotgun he’d found resting against the kitchen counter. When Inias asked why they weren’t sleeping in the house like last time, Dean replied that it was too dirty but Castiel was able to fill in the blanks. They were bodies inside and they’d seen enough bodies tonight to last a lifetime.

“You guys lost some stuff, huh?” Dean stood with his hands behind his back after closing the barn doors.

Claire sighed. “Some! But Cassie told us to get what we could and we did!”

Inias waved his truck and little green soldier. “I got my army man! And some of my cars. An—and we kept your bracelets just like we said we would.”

Smiling, Dean shook a bag of marshmallows at them and a long bar of chocolate. “I found these inside and they are still good to go. I figured it’ll make up for the ones you lost. You can make cracker-less smores.”

Sufficiently distracted and in higher spirits, the twins bounced on their toes as Dean helped them wedge two fluffy white cubes on two long sticks he’d found and shove them over the dancing flames. Not for the first time Castiel marveled at how well Dean handled children, and young children at that.

Once they were getting their fingers sticky and snacking away, Castiel drifted over and slowly sat down beside Dean as he flipped through his mother’s book. Their arms brushed and Dean paused, thumb tapping against a faded yellowing page. “Hey Cas,” he began. “I’m sorry about Bart. He uh—he seemed like a good guy.”

Castiel nodded and tried to remember Bartholomew smiling and joking, not crumpled to the ground with a gaping hole in his chest. “He was a good man. He did a lot for the people at the hotel. Even in the end he was still trying to help and save as many as he could.”

Dean cleared his throat. “Are you okay? I mean you two were…so this must be pretty hard on you. Losing him like that.”

Glancing to the kids to make sure they were preoccupied, Castiel spoke honestly. “We weren’t a couple. It would probably have headed that way but we were just friends. I found it nice to be wanted romantically though.”

Dean frowned and caused a line to appear between his brows. “What are you talking about? Who _wouldn’t_ want you? You’re smart, kind, brave as hell…”

Castiel stared at him. “Dean, why did you kiss me before you left?”

Avoiding his gaze, Dean flipped to another page. “I was leaving and it would probably be a while before we saw each other again. I wanted to do it so I did it. Make sure you’d remember me.”

Caressing his prickly cheek, Castiel smiled. “How could I ever forget you? I never wanted you to leave. I wanted you to stay with me and the twins. But after what happened between us and your reaction—”

“ _My reaction_?” Dean interrupted grabbing his wrist. “You were the one who acted like nothing happened and got chummy with Bart.”

“Because _you_ acted like nothing happened as well.” Castiel growled, not missing the way Dean’s green eyes dropped to his lips. “I thought you wanted to put it behind you as nothing more than one friend helping another.”

“Well yeah. I mean. Look it was that but that wasn’t _all_ it was. Okay?” Dean shifted in annoyance, hand drifting up until their fingers were entwined. “So just shut up and eat a marshmallow or something.”

It was utterly immature but it made Castiel laugh. “One more question and then I will do that. What happens now?”

Shrugging, Dean went back to pretending to read. “Now? We find my brother. Together.”

Castiel liked the sound of that.

~+~

Sitting up in the hay loft with a gun in his lap and his side resting to the wall of the barn, Dean gazed through the slightly open door out at the purple lightning streaking across the sky. Thunder rumbled as rain poured down from the clouds, making everything smell fresh and clean for a change. It didn’t rain in Purgatory. The weather didn’t change much at all in Purgatory; neither cold nor hot. It was like living in a vacuum except sound was probably the only thing they _did_ have. All day and all night you could hear something screeching and something wailing. It was hard to tell what was eating and what was being eaten.

But he was back in the real world now and the splatters of cool rain felt good on his face.

He was supposed to be keeping watch and he was but his brain was in overdrive with thoughts. It had been beyond dumb to leave Castiel and the twins alone but he’d done it because—because it seemed like the right option at the time. And maybe he hadn’t wanted to stay around and watch Cas get chummy with Bart. Still it was stupid and they’d nearly paid for his stupidity with their lives. Of course safe houses weren’t safe anymore. Not even ones with a heavy military presence. But Cas had wanted to believe it and he guessed in some odd way he’d wanted to believe it too.

The smell of the hoard racing cross the fields nipped that in the bud pretty quickly. They’d been like shadows flowing over a wall, silent but terrifying. It was fucked up but he’d been surprised anyone was still alive when he’d finally arrived. When he’d finally fought his way through banshees and changelings to actually get inside of the building. His keen hearing picking up Castiel’s baritone, noting the fear in his voice. Seeing that asshole on top of Castiel and about to rip out his heart, Dean reacted without conscious thought. He could have shot it but that didn’t seem _good_ enough to help Cas. That son of a bitch needed to burn the way all dickheads needed to burn.

In hindsight perhaps it was for the best; coming clean about what he really was. Now there were no secrets between them and that fear of being rejected was just a tiny voice whispering in his ear instead of a shouting megaphone. And really he couldn’t fault any of them for how they’d initially responded to the news. The unknown was scary and seeing a guy set something on fire with his bare hands tended to ruffle feathers. He didn’t blame Claire and Inias for being scared of him but he was glad that wasn’t exactly the case anymore. That they believed him when he said he wasn’t a danger.

Not to them anyway.

For most of his life—up until his death—Dean had not shied away from his lineage. He was a phoenix and that _meant_ something no matter who he was pretending to be. Being able to take a bullet or a knife to the gut and not die bought him respect in certain communities. Made him Sheriff of a small town and a household name among other mobsters. No one but his closest kin and friends knew the real reason and so he’d never had to feel shame for being different. Hell it was worse in those days to like men than not be human.

Yet having to hide from Cas had been tough in a way he hadn’t realized until the truth was out. It meant Cas and the others only got half of him. That he only let them see the surface. Dean wasn’t one to toot his own horn but he could be deep. He had layers and shit.

_Now you can be you._

“Yeah yeah.” He muttered quietly to himself. “I’ll throw myself a parade later.”

The amusing part to this whole situation if you wanted to look at it that way was that apparently Castiel had a knack for getting into trouble. Or maybe people and…things realized how big his heart was and wanted a piece of it, literally and figuratively. In any case Dean knew he’d have to keep him and his rug rats close. He’d nearly lost them once—twice if you counted Bart—and he didn’t want to lose them again. They were kind of all he had especially until he found Sam. Not that they were a substitute because they weren’t. They were real and his affection for them was real too.

As corny as it sounded maybe he needed them just as much as they needed him.

Speaking of Sam, man he hoped that giant asshole was okay. That he was out there doing good shit like he’d always whined about. Though knowing Sam he’d probably started a convent for wayward puppies or some shit long before the world went belly up.

The ladder creaked and Dean glanced across the small stacks of hay just in time to see Castiel’s head pop into view. He smiled tentatively and climbed onto the ledge, making his way over to where Dean sat. “Mind if I join you?”

Dean shook his head. “Where’s your cargo?”

Castiel motioned down below. “Sleeping though I don’t know for how long. Honestly I am not sure how they are able to do it. Every time I close my eyes I see the bodies. That…creature on top of me after what it did to Bartholomew. I guess they are stronger than I am.”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t think it’s a question of who is stronger. Little kids can move on from the heavy shit better than adults who dwell and over analyze everything, their brains probably protect them better. I’m sure loads of therapy would benefit them if that was still a thing, but you know. Claire and Inias trust you to keep them safe and I think they know you will so their brain mellows them. And they realize things are different now. Kids adapt.”

Sitting down beside him, Castiel sighed deeply. “Do you know what they were? The monsters I mean.”

Dean rubbed at the scruff on his chin. “Yeah. The uh—the one that took out Bart was called a lamia. Not so much a kid eater as the lore would have you believe, they tend to just want hearts in general. Usually you need rosemary or whatever to kill them but I’ve found fire works on most ass clowns. The wolves were gorilla-wolves and they traveled in packs. They would’ve taken a bite out of me if given half the chance. Tried many times back in Purgatory.”

Castiel was riveted. “What about—there was this female with white eyes and pointed teeth. She was actually wearing a leather jacket.”

“Japanese?”

“I think so, yes.”

“Okami.” Dean replied. “They usually only eat a certain type but I guess with the all you can eat buffet, why limit yourself? To be honest Cas I saw a lot of the _old gang_ at the hotel. Not ones I’d personally tangled with but the type. Vetalas, rugarus, pishtacos and do you know what they all have in common besides needing serious dental work? They all eat people. When you think about it their names don’t really matter.”

Pulling at the blanket around his shoulders, Castiel frowned. “That is very disturbing but I understand your point. You know I used to have such lively debates with my students about religion and translating ancient texts. What the bible may have meant when it said a certain thing; if it was being literal or expected us to ascertain our own meanings. And now I learn Purgatory _is_ real, there are no infant souls but instead creatures I could have never imagined.” He stared out at the rain. “I can’t help but wonder where God is in all of this.”

Dean suddenly wished he had a stiff drink. “I’m not really the best person to ask about God crap. Not because I don’t believe ‘cause I do. I just…I don’t get why good monsters still go to Purgatory. I guess it’s better than Hell but it’s not like if we atone we move on to Heaven. We’re just there. And it ain’t sunshine and rainbows. I don’t see how a prison turned into monster camp.”

Castiel blinked at him. “Prison? For what?”

Dean licked his lips. “Well word around the grape vine was the place had less to do with monsters and more with keeping in this really old evil called Leviathans; that’s why God made it and stuff. But I might have seen only a handful while I was there. Unlike the rest of us they _did_ need food or they literally started eating themselves. Gross as fuck.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side. “Interesting. In Judeo-Christian lore a Leviathan is a giant sea creature. The Babylonian Talmud makes reference to archangels slaying the beast while other mythology suggests it will be God. I suppose they were neither for you…”

“Nah. I probably would have shit myself if some Cthulhu looking bitch burst through the woods. They were like black slime that could take human shape. But when they were hungry their entire head became this giant worm mouth full of razor sharp teeth.” Dean shuddered in revolution. “I do not envy whoever might have run into them out there.”

A particularly loud clap of thunder made Castiel flinch. He looked so tired, the skin under his eyes just starting to get a little purple. Dean nodded once and stood. “C’mon let’s get in the car before the storm wakes up the twins and they throw a fit.”

Castiel looked as if he was going to resist but then thought better of it. He followed Dean down the ladder and to the Impala, climbing into the passenger seat and glancing back to where Claire and Inias were nestled under two thick blankets. Their faces were free of wrinkles with Inias sucking his thumb and Claire twirling a piece of her hair around her finger. They were completely beat; no wonder they were sleeping so soundly.

The rain made the air chillier and Dean could tell Castiel could feel it by the way he huddled into his blanket. Figuring there was no harm; he stretched his long legs out across the front seat and basically manhandled Castiel until he was lying more or less on top of him, his head of dark hair resting on Dean’s shoulder. It was a tight fit but that just sort of made it cozier. Safer.

“Is this okay?” He felt the need to ask. “Or too close for comfort?”

“It’s perfect.” Castiel whispered as the anxiety leeched out of his body. “Besides I’m too tired to be nervous anymore.”

Dean smiled and threaded his fingers through Castiel’s slightly damp hair. “You warm enough?”

Castiel rubbed his chest. “Yes. You give off a lot of body heat.”

Dean chuckled. “Glad to see that’s still a turn on.” A beat. “You should get some sleep. I got this.”

Castiel nuzzled his chin. “I’ll try in a moment. First, I’d like to know more about you. Your family.”

_Fair enough._ “Well my dad died a _long_ time ago. He was human and of course he knew all about what my mom was but he loved her anyway. My brother Sam is four years younger than I am and I haven’t seen him since I died. He never came to Purgatory and neither did my mom. That’s why I left the hotel. I’m trying to find him. I know it’s like looking for a long haired needle in the haystack but I gotta try. We should be together during all of this bullshit.”

Castiel lifted up a little to look down at him. “Are we keeping you from making that a reality, Dean?”

_In the beginning maybe…_ “No. I won’t lie to you, I was a little miffed about having to help you guys at first but now I’m glad things worked out the way they did. I don’t mind being on my own but I like having you and those two short stacks around. Like I said earlier we’re going to I look for Sam together. I’d feel better if you’re—ya know—near.”

Smiling, Castiel snuggled close and rested his head underneath Dean’s chin. “I’d like that and I know the twins would too. They still like you…as do I.” He yawned. “This feels normal.”

Dean glanced out the window. “Yeah?”

Castiel hummed. “In that moment after watching you burn that lamia I thought it was all a lie, and that it would never be normal again. I didn’t know what to expect. I still don’t but being with you makes more sense—even now—than not being with you. You’re more human than some of the humans. And I suppose in some strange way _good_ monsters make sense. The world is too big for just one thing.”

It was clear that Castiel was a little delirious and drained; mumbling as sleep slowly pulled him further and further under. But it was okay because he needed his rest—he’d been through so much including finding out his new friend sprouted wings sometimes. He was handling things better than most would though. If other people could do the same they could start fighting back against the evil assholes together. That was probably a pipe dream however.

And then Rufus Turner’s face flashed behind his eyes and he smirked, smoothing a hand down Castiel’s back when he murmured unhappily. Dean wasn’t sure what had happened to people like Charlie or Glinda but he would bet money on Rufus being fine. Hell he might have even enjoyed one last blow out. Dean wouldn’t be surprised if they met again one day he just hoped Rufus wasn’t suddenly trigger happy. He liked the old son of a bitch and didn’t want to have to hurt him.

_What now?_ Dean thought idly. Searching for Sam was all well and good but where should he even begin? Maybe it was time to get creative and start sending up smoke signals or something. Or visiting all of their old haunts.

_Hopefully Sam cares enough to be looking for me too. Otherwise what’s the point?_

If he never found Sam he would—well he supposed he’d just keep going until he couldn’t anymore. Until he no longer had Cas, Inias and Claire depending on him.

Or maybe he’d open a puppy convent. Hey stranger things happened…and continued to happen every day. If you’d told him he’d get out of Purgatory and play savior to a hot dude and his niece and nephew, he would have laughed in your face. But here he was. Maybe this was his reward for being falsely imprisoned in the first place.

A new family, not to replace the one he’d lost but to help him start a new beginning. As long as it wasn’t something just to be ripped away again. He didn’t think he could survive losing any more people he cared about. He could travel the roads alone and do what he had to do but even _he_ had a limit, especially now that he’d tasted that togetherness for a second time.

Life wouldn’t be that cruel. Right?


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

With an amused sound, Dean placed another mark on the piece of paper he used to keep track of the days. It was probably stupid but in Purgatory every day bled into another and before you realized it, you were like a zombie that just didn’t care anymore. Keeping track of time was important as far as he was concerned so he’d been tracking the days the best he could. Anyway the point was that it’d been two weeks since he’d revealed his true self to Castiel and the twins, and things were okay. It had been tense at first but bit by bit they’d all came around to honestly see that he was the same guy, just special. That he had no ulterior motive for lying except he felt it was best when it came to keeping them safe.

Most importantly they recognized that he wasn’t a danger to them at all.

Dean was happy for the most part. At least he was happy his traveling companions weren’t attempting to run away from him, not that they ever had but you know. And he was happy he didn’t have to hide his abilities anymore. Really made starting fires a lot easier.

They’d been riding the highways mostly and rummaging in abandoned houses and stores when they could. The landscape seemed to be the same everywhere, either decimated or untouched and he wasn’t sure which he hated more. Fucked up meant something terrible had happened but pristine just invited a false sense of security. However one constant was the lack of Sam but Dean wasn’t exactly that worried. He had never expected to turn a corner and run into him stealing twinkies or whatever. There were other people though and _not_ like the ones from the safe house.

These were, well as far as he could tell they’d given up. A man and a woman who didn’t bother to run at the car or call for help, they just continued digging in a pile of trash and shoving whatever they found in their mouths. Castiel had looked positively heartbroken and tried to explain everything to the twins. Dean just stared straight ahead and kept driving. It wasn’t that he was not touched by their troubles he just—he could push the concern down if he had to. It was screwed up but a tiny voice whispered life was bad but it still wasn’t Purgatory.

When they weren’t in the car they were huddled up somewhere safe and sound, surrounded by symbols and eating cubes of Spam with bread. If the area was one hundred percent vacant—and quite a few were—Dean coaxed Castiel into learning how to shoot a gun. He was actually not that bad once he got the hang of aiming though he still found the kick back from the shotgun a bit jarring.

The best part though was how Claire and Inias acted around him. They were back to chatting his ear off and snuggling up once it got dark, climbing into his lap or pouting until he showed them his wings. Which he did not mind doing because he liked the look Castiel got whenever he whipped them out. Sort of amazement with a very small hint of trepidation that usually went away the moment he curled into the feathers. Dean would never admit it but he loved that. Loved curling them around their cold bodies on chilly nights and keeping them warm. It had been so long since he’d been able to do that, since he’d wanted to do that.

Plus being able to flex them without the threat of some asshole breaking one off meant he could get them strong again.

More importantly it seemed Inias and Claire just wanted to know that he wasn’t going to run off again. Apparently even a nonhuman new friend that could keep them safe was better than no friend at all. Once they were sure he was with them for the long haul they were okay. He guessed it was some sort of left over fear or grief from losing their parents and the hotel. They didn’t want to lose anything else and he could understand that. Looking back he wished he’d never left them or Cas but what’s done was done. All he could do now was continue to prove himself trustworthy on all fronts.

While they were all safe and sound things hadn’t been completely smooth. Three days after leaving the barn Inias got sick with a high fever and needed meds to help bring it down. It appeared to be a routine cold but even those could be deadly if certain symptoms weren’t treated. So that meant breaking into a drugstore and getting him children’s Tylenol or something. Of course Dean had wanted, okay pretty much _demanded_ Castiel remain in the car when they finally found a half burned CVS but he’d refused. He said it was because Inias was his nephew and he was responsible for him but Dean thought to this day he just wanted to be a dick and not listen. Fair enough though considering what they’d went through.

Anyway with the twins hidden safety in the Impala under blankets, they’d sneaked into the store under the cover of moonlight and used flashlights to find what they were looking for. Dean could still remember how trashed the place had been; shelves overturned, puddles of water standing near the counter and light fixtures hanging from a broken down ceiling. The air inside smelling like death, rot and stale potato chips. Everything was just tossed around and dirty with the real medicine back in the pharmacy looking pretty slim pickings. Even so Dean slipped back to toss whatever he could find into a bag, they could sort them out later.

And then he’d heard a shriek and a pained grunt. He’d leapt over the moldy counter to find Castiel on the floor pinned beneath what looked like a woman yet clearly wasn’t; her hair too stringy and her saggy skin the color of old wax. Neither were moving and Dean just about had a heart attack getting to them, throwing the woman off like a rag doll to discover Castiel alive yet bleeding from a deep stab wound to his thigh. It wouldn’t have been too bad if after he came to he hadn’t basically cowered away from Dean like a frightened deer and called him all sorts of names, freak coming up the most.

Didn’t take a rocket scientist to know he’d been touched by a Wraith. Those bitches sucked brain juice but could also make you hallucinate and crank your fears up to a thousand just by brushing you with their pinky finger. Made the food taste better.

But Dean wasn’t upset, he knew the deal. He was actually impressed because while he’d been stabbed Castiel had managed to stab the Wraith in the chest with the silver knife he’d given him and killed the damn thing. He burned it to ashes though just to be on the safe side.

And then he’d had to knock Castiel out so that his ranting wouldn’t alarm the kids before carrying him limp and bleeding back to his car. Needless to say the blood alarmed them anyway but he assured them their Uncle was fine, fixed him up and got the hell out of Dodge for greener pastures. By the time Castiel came around he was himself again and so very apologetic over the things he’d said to Dean. Dean was okay but it cut a little; the Wraith could have only magnified Castiel’s true thoughts, maybe ones he didn’t even know he had.

Long story short though Inias got his meds and both he and his Uncle had been on the mend ever since. Perhaps getting the words out there had actually done some good, cleared the air because like he’d said things were better now.

Folding up his paper, he shoved it back into his pocket and climbed out of the car. They were in a wooded area by a small fishing pond, the air clean and crisp for once. All he could hear were the sounds of birds chirping and frogs croaking. The Impala was painted with a fresh coat of runes, the dirt all around where they were lounging forming a nice protective semi circle. Dean had already checked the vicinity twice for assholes but thankfully found it empty, so he was jacketless with a knife in his boot and a gun tucked into the band of his jeans.

Sitting down at the water’s edge by the fire Dean had made, Castiel was dipping his hand into the blue pail full of water to test its temperature. He was in a t-shirt and plain white boxers, his jeans laid off to the side. Claire and Inias were sitting opposite him, tossing tiny stones into the pond.

“How’s your leg?” Dean asked as he walked over. “Lemme see.”

Castiel smiled. “It’s sore but continues to heal nicely.”

Dean mm’d and removed the bandage to get a better look. The wound was pink and shiny but otherwise okay except for how deep it was. He could see hints of white tissue but he knew for a fact one could heal from something like this as long as it didn’t get infected. “Yeah it doesn’t look too bad. You’ve been listening to me and that’s why.”

Castiel chuckled. “I see. I was wondering what the reason was.”

Dean rolled his eyes and put on fresh wrappings. “You don’t get to be a smart ass with me right now. If you had stayed in the car like I said this wouldn’t have happened.”

Castiel shrugged lightly. “Perhaps not. Perhaps the Wraith would have gotten the jump on _you_ , infected you with her toxins and ended up killing you. We will never know for sure however I’m quite proud of myself. I killed it and lived to tell the tale.”

Shaking his head, Dean moved to sit flat on the ground. “Whatever.” He smoothed a hand across his tired face and gave up the brewing argument before it began. “Good for you I guess.”

Wincing, Castiel slipped over beside him so that their shoulders touched. “Dean I just want to pull my weight. You’ve taken our safety upon yourself like a knight in shining armor and we all appreciate it, we really do. I might not be a powerful phoenix but I _am_ a capable human being. I want to help keep us safe. I want to help keep you safe.”

_It would be good to remember that_ , Dean thought idly. That there was someone now willing to go to bat for him. Kind of like Benny had but without the accent. “I get it, Cas. I just—I don’t know. If that broad had stabbed me like she did you I’d be healed by now. I don’t like seeing you in pain. I don’t like the thought of you or the twins being hurt.”

“I understand.” Castiel squeezed the back of his neck soothingly. “It’s hard when someone you care about is injured but I am doing okay. I promise. You’ve been taking excellent care of me.”

“Damn straight.” Dean ducked his head with a grin, trying to shake off the goofy fog surrounding his head. “So uh, heh, what did you want the water for?”

Castiel motioned between them. “Well it’s been quite a while since any of us has had a bath. I thought perhaps it would make us feel better. Wash off all of the dirt and grime and put on some clean clothes for a change.”

_Makes sense to me._ “Okay. How we gonna do this? Want me to give you a sponge bath?”

“Do you have a sponge?”

“Oh I could find one, don’t you worry.”

Castiel laughed. “I’m sure you would. Well Claire is young enough that I could help her bathe but too young to see any of us nude. They know the difference between boys and girls and took a bath together when they were younger, but a little privacy wouldn’t hurt either I don’t think. Would you mind entertaining her while I help Inias and then switching when it is his turn? They can wait in the Impala while we clean up.”

Dean nodded. “Sure.” He stood up. “C’mon Claire let’s go check on the guns while your Uncle helps Inias get clean.”

She tossed another rock before getting up. “Okie dokie.”

Together they walked over to the car and around to the driver side so that Inias and Castiel were hidden from view. “So, how you doing little miss?”

She huffed and pulled at her blonde hair. “Can you braid it tighter for me? It comes loose when I sleep.”

Smiling, Dean opened the door and sat near the foot wells so that he wasn’t up too high. “I think I can do that. Do you want a regular braid or a French braid?”

Claire blinked at him. “ _You_ can do the pretty ones? Cassie doesn’t know how.”

Dean removed the simple rubber band from the raggedly braid and shook it out, using his fingers to comb out the small tangles. “I haven’t had to do ‘em in a very long time but I think it’ll come back to me.”

She clapped. “Yay! I’d get pigtails but I don’t like them. I miss bows and stuff. Do you think we can get some? I used to have pink bows that looked like butterflies back home.”

Dean went about his task, grabbing sections of her silky hair with his nimble fingers. “Next time we stop somewhere I’ll make sure to look for some.”

Humming, she yawned. “Inias says he’s feeling a lot betta. Glad I didn’t get sick.”

Dean smirked. “Me too. But we have medicine now for everyone so it’s okay.”

Somehow Claire managed to keep her head still. “Are we gonna live with you in your car forever? Will you find us a house one day? If you do can it have a swing? I like swings.”

“I will make sure it does.” He finished up with her hair and re-looped the rubber band. “There. How is that?”

Standing on her tip toes to see her reflection in the side mirror, she grinned toothily at what she saw. “Wow that’s pretty! Who taught you to do that?”

Dean wet his lips. “I taught myself. I…used to do it for someone a long time ago. She had pretty blonde hair like you but it was darker.”

Claire stared at him with her head cocked to the side, looking much like Castiel with an expression he found hard to read. “Are you sad, Dean? Sometimes you look sad.”

He sighed. “No I’m not that sad anymore. I’ve got you and Cas and Inias. I only get a little sad when I think about the people who aren’t here with us.”

Crawling into his lap, she rested her head to his chest. “I miss my mommy and daddy. I wish they could be here with us too. But Cassie says they are in Heaven now, and that they sent you to help look after us.”

_Man…_ “He’s right. Ya know I know it doesn’t make up for what you lost but we can be our own little family. If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t.” She whispered playing with his necklace. “I’m glad I have you and Inias and Uncle Cassie.” Pause. “Does this mean you and Cassie are boyfriends now?”

Dean resisted the urge to snort, not out of spite but just because. He and Castiel hadn’t kissed or anything again even after their little chat but he did have the feeling that something had changed. When they slept in the front seat of the Impala it was squished together like sardines but comfortable, legs entwined with Castiel usually as the little spoon. At times when they would be driving along Dean would feel his stupidly pretty blue eyes gazing at him and when he would turn to look, he’d see the ghost of a smile on Castiel’s face. But he knew why nothing quote unquote _romantic_ had happened between them. It took time to come to terms with your friend being a monster. Took even longer for you to be okay with him touching you.

_I wouldn’t be shocked if in the first few days he thought I’d set him on fire._

So they weren’t ripping each others’ clothes off or rutting like animals behind a tree where the twins couldn’t see but Dean was okay with that. If he and Castiel hooked up for good they had plenty of time for that stuff. He was alright handling himself when he slipped off to take a piss. Beat not caring to get it up at all while in Purgatory.

“I think you should ask your Uncle that.” He finally said. “And if he says we are then we are.”

“He liiiiiikes you.” She sang with a giggle. “But then we all do so…I dunno.”

“Claire!” Castiel called a moment later. “It’s your turn for a bath!”

With a cute put upon sigh, she slid off Dean’s lap and skipped back down to the water. Inias appeared soundlessly around the open door, looking refreshed and in clean clothes. His hair just this side of damp as if it had simply been wiped with a cloth. He climbed up onto Dean’s knee and fell back against him. Dean brought a hand up and touched his forehead to make sure he didn’t feel warm, and thankfully he didn’t. He supposed he was just a bit weak. When you were recovering it took energy to do anything it seemed.

“You okay buddy?” Dean asked him.

Inias slumped. “Yup. Sleepy.”

Dean checked his watch. “After we’re done here I’ll find us a safe spot and you and Claire can get a nap, how does that sound?”

Inias smiled. “Good.” Then he pouted. “I hate it when I get a cold. And Cassie got hurt because of me.”

Dean turned him a little so he could look at him. “Aw hey now it wasn’t your fault. Cas doesn’t blame you and neither do I. You can’t help if you catch a cold. Shit happens.”

Inias nibbled on his bottom lip. “He—he could have died.”

Dean hugged him. “C’mon you think I’d let that happen? Cas loves you and your sister so much it’s crazy. I bet he would fight a T-Rex for a box of M&Ms if you guys wanted some. You’re the most important things in the world to him, and if he had to do it again to get you medicine he would. And I would be right there with him making sure he was okay.” He pushed floppy bangs off Inias’ forehead. “You and Claire have been through more than anyone your age should have to deal with. I’m proud of you guys for being so strong and brave. But remember it’s okay if you’re scared.”

Inias hugged him back and replied, “I know. Things are better though. Least we have each other. That’s what Cassie always says.”

That was true now more than ever. Though he was sure for some people it meant nothing since those they were with were horrible assholes. 

He was just about to start rocking Inias gently from side to side when Castiel called out that it was their turn to get clean. He then slipped the little boy into the driver’s seat, expecting him to doze off unless Claire kept him awake. Seconds later she was loping around to the door and settling in beside her brother, cheeks no longer smudged with dirt. She looked content but also sort of drowsy; he figured they would both drop off sooner rather than later.

Smiling, he kissed both of their foreheads and made his way to where Castiel was sitting, wringing out a thick wash cloth into the grass. “You managed to make them sleepy. Good job. Now they won’t be acting like peeping toms or whatever.”

Castiel snickered and took off his shirt. “That’s good to know. Speaking of which, Claire is besotted with her hair.”

Letting his eyes rake over Castiel’s toned back and arms, he rolled his shoulders and forced himself not to pop a boner at all that delicious lightly tanned skin. It was times like this he found the hardest when it came to being around Castiel. When he couldn’t just make a move because he wasn’t _one hundred percent_ sure how it would be received. “Yeah?”

Dipping the cloth into the bucket, Castiel rubbed it with a small bar of soap and then smoothed it along his skin. “How did you learn to braid hair like that? It doesn’t seem like something that would be happening in Purgatory.”

Snickering, Dean slipped off his flannel and the shirt he wore underneath. To explain the hair he’d have to explain everything but that was okay. He wanted Castiel to know his entire story. “No actually it’s something I used to do for my daughter when she was younger.”

Castiel froze. “You—you have a daughter?”

Hands fumbling for something to do, he took the rag from Castiel to wash his back. “I did. Long time ago though back in the 1800s when my family and I lived in Sunrise, Wyoming. I was married to a woman named Lydia and we had a little girl named Emma.”

Castiel exhaled deeply, the muscles in his back shifting. “So you really were a Sheriff?”

“Heh I was; had a gold star shaped badge and everything. Got the job on a whim when the first Sheriff was murdered by bandits and I happened to be in the right place at the right time I guess. Shot them as they were trying to get away and so the town elected me the new Sheriff. Made Sam my Deputy.” Dean said as he smoothed the wet cloth along Castiel’s flesh, noting his shiver. “It was harder living back then but we were happy. We had what we needed and stuff. And considering regular bullets didn’t work on me our town developed somewhat of a reputation in the _do not fuck with_ department.”

“Amazing.” Castiel whispered. “Your wife and daughter? The—they were human?”

“They were.” Dean could see them so clearly in his mind even after all these years if he forced himself to dig deep. Otherwise the images were faded—like an old photograph. Lydia with her deep brown eyes and Emma with her infectious smile, both refusing to wear bonnets and letting their lovely blonde hair fly while all of the other women opted for hats or bows. “When Emma was a child she loved braids because most of her dolls had them. Those weird looking yarn dolls? Anyway so once she was up for the day Lydia would bring her to the Sheriff’s station and I’d have to do her hair for her.”

He could see Castiel’s smile. “Adorable. But that explains why you are so good with Claire and Inias.”

_I guess._ “I like kids. Lydia and I wanted more but things didn’t work out that way. She had a hard time with Emma—what with the time period and all—and she was just never able to carry to term again. Well no my son lived for two days before he died.”

Before he could say anything else Castiel turned and pulled him into a loose hug, damp skin slipping against and cooling his own. His body reacted without his consent, temperature rising until the tiny droplets of water evaporate into thin slivers of steam. Castiel gasped and his cheeks flushed pink but he didn’t appear to be burned, just surprised.

Dean gave a nervous chuckle. “Sorry.” Clearing his throat he continued. “Emma died when she was seventeen from a sickness and ten years later Lydia died. I know it sounds depressing as fuck but I actually had a pretty good life. And you know the life expectancy was like thirty-five back then.”

Castiel touched his cheek and Dean leaned into it. “Still I am very sorry for your loss. Did you ever remarry?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah. No more kids either. I thought about it—I mean I’ve been serious with other people but I don’t know. Something kept me from going all the way or from wanting to make them like me.”

His blue eyes widened. “That’s possible?”

_Oh yeah._ “It ain’t easy and it doesn’t always take but yeah. Lydia never wanted it though I think had Emma lived longer she might have. She was always kinda sad she’d been born human. I tried to turn her to save her when she was sick but by then her body couldn’t handle the change. Years passed and I focused more on having fun and traveling with my brother than doing the family man thing. Right up until I was ganked by a group of Hunters that didn’t give a shit I wasn’t hurting people. Well, good people.”

Castiel frowned. “Hunters?”

Dean huffed. “Before Purgatory puked us all out there were other monsters here but on a smaller scale. They’d stumble into a house and kill a family, and it would make the papers or something as a suspicious death. Then you’d have these dudes go into the town, case the place, find the monster and kill it.” A beat. “One of them must have seen me use my powers because a few days later I was dead.”

“Why didn’t you tell them you were good?”

“I did but they didn’t give a shit. As far as they were concerned the only good monster was a dead monster.”

“Hm. You have led an extremely interesting life, Dean.”

“Curse of immortality. Would be boring as fuck if not for the distractions.”

Castiel’s brows arched towards his hairline where a few dark strands were curling against his forehead. “Am I a distraction?”

Dean grinned softly and took the chance of kissing him, just a little, just a firm press of lips. Castiel appeared surprised but also pleased if his delighted expression was anything to go by. “No. You are most definitely not a distraction.”

_Not anymore._

A comfortable silence descended next and they used the time to finish getting clean, quickly washing their lower regions and laughing like idiots when one caught the other looking. It was light in a way it didn’t have any right to be but Dean wasn’t going to dwell or feel guilty. After all they had been through they deserved moments like this. Moments where they could be tender or silly because they never knew when it was back to blood and guts and death.

_We can’t do this forever. I could but it’s not fair to them. They deserve an honest to god safe place to lay their heads every night._

_But where?_

_And how?_

Once they were clean and dressed, Dean walked behind Castiel as he hobbled to the Impala with their things. They loaded up, slipped the sleeping twins into the backseat and got back onto the dirt road that had brought them to the pond in the first place. As they came to a fork in the road—one way leading to the highway and the other leading towards more trees— the car sputtered and smoke began to filter from underneath the hood. Dean cursed and eased towards the left until running her any longer would do serious damage.

“Fuck.” He cursed with a growl. “Probably the radiator hose because it’s always the goddamn radiator hose. Guess everything lasting long as it did was a miracle.”

Castiel turned away from the window. “What now?”

Leaning forwards, Dean motioned through the thick overgrowth. “I can see a cabin just ahead. Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll have something I can rig it with inside. Either way it’s a shelter. We can regroup.”

Castiel licked his lips. “True.”

Although his thigh was still sore, Castiel carried Claire while he carried Inias through the heavy weeds and winding grass up to the fishing cabin. Dean picked the lock and pushed open the creaking door, scenting the air for anything weird before making his way inside. There was an old couch in front of an even older tv so he placed Inias down onto it, cutting his hand with his knife to ward the walls while Castiel put Claire down.

Within minutes he could feel the power of the symbols working, creating a low buzz of protection around the whole area. “Alright. Kinda dusty but this place doesn’t look too bad. Out here in the woods the way it is…we might be able to hang out for a while. If you want.”

Easing down into an arm chair to take the weight off his leg, Castiel slouched. “Sure. We could go fishing and eat that for a change. Do you think the stove works?”

Dean fiddled with the dials until one of the pilots lit up. “Yeah it does. Not sure how much gas is left in the tank but should be enough for a little fish fry. Plumbing is probably shot to hell though like all of the other places.” Batting away a few gnats, he pulled the cluttered coffee table closer and lifted Castiel’s leg up onto it. “You relax while I look for some tape or something.”

Honestly Dean felt like there had to be some in here somewhere, the place was littered with old magazines and knick knacks. Two long fishing poles were hanging on the wall over the fireplace, right beside a busty chest wearing a coconut bra. There were no pictures but everything had a personal feel to it like whoever owned it really cared about it. Or had; the thick layers of dust signaling no one had been by in a while.

He rummaged through drawers in the kitchen and basically found everything except for what he was searching for. Tools, silverware, a stapler…and enough silverfish to start a small nation. He was tempted to set them on fire but the old wood was liable to go up quick as a match being struck.

“Great.” He murmured at finding an empty roll of duck tape. Stomping out of the kitchen he searched the living room and then the bedroom but came up with nothing useful.

This posed a serious problem. In theory he could run the Impala without a proper hose but it would just end up overheating the radiator and eventually fucking up the engine. Roaming around on foot would have been hard before Castiel got hurt, now it was like an all you can eat sign if something decided to try its luck. Dean was confident he could destroy anything that came their way but there was always a _chance_ he was too slow. He didn’t want to test those odds.

So it seemed he would have to go elsewhere for tape.

_Fuck_.

Castiel could tell by his face when he returned that there wasn’t good news. “Could you use a piece of cloth?”

He perched on the edge of the sofa. “Nah it has to be something that will keep the leak in check. I just…” He rubbed at his chin. “We passed a junk yard about a mile or so before finding the pond. I could look there but…you guys would have to stay here. I don’t wanna leave you alone.”

“I think we’d be okay.” Castiel announced lightly. “The wards are up and nothing can get past them. The twins are asleep and if they wake up I’ll make sure we keep quiet. Besides I’m better with a gun now and you won’t be long.”

Of course he wouldn’t be but it only took a second for things to go tits up. “I dunno, Cas. Bullets will kill or stun almost anything but after that you might have to get physical and you’re not up for that.”

Castiel did not deny his words. “Perhaps. But either you leave to get what you need or we never leave this cabin. And you can’t find Sam if we’re stationary.”

Dean’s jaw tightened because he was right. He was _right_ and it made him want to punch something. Finding Sam was a top priority but it wasn’t the _only_ priority. If he had to make the choice he’d let the idea of finding Sam go, at least for a while anyway until they could get themselves together. Not to mention it hadn’t escaped his notice that there was a chance he’d never find his brother. He wasn’t okay with that but he’d make peace with it. Hell he’d made peace with never leaving Purgatory and it was only a fluke that things hadn’t gone down that way. ‘Sides there was always a chance Sam would see the messages he’d been leaving and find him.

A hand touched his and he unfurled the fist he hadn’t even realized he’d been making. “It’s okay Dean,” Castiel said, voice filled to the brim with understanding. “We’ll be fine. Have faith.”

Swallowing hard, Dean grasped his fingers and held on. “You should know me better than that Cas. Seeing the shit I’ve seen leaves little room for faith to get in.”

Castiel nodded. “Yes but maybe you should have faith in yourself then. You’ll go get the tape or a new hose and return here as quickly as you can. You’ve fortified this place to the best of your ability and that means we’ll be fine. Also the sooner you leave means the sooner you’ll get back.”

_I wish I could be that clear headed._ “Okay okay. But look I want you guys to stay put and _don’t_ let anyone in. I don’t care if God shows up rocking a toga carrying a bottle of wine; you shoot him in the face if he won’t leave.”

Castiel’s lips twitched but he didn’t smile. “Yes sir. Though he’d probably just heal himself and come in anyway.”

“Smart ass.” Dean muttered affectionately. “Should I wake the munchkins and let them know what’s up?”

“No I’ll tell them if they wake up before you return.” Castiel responded. “They know you would never just leave them again.”

Sighing and hating this plan, Dean cracked his knuckles and headed towards the front door. “Remember what I said. You stay safe or I’ll kick your ass when I get back.”

Shuffling after him, Castiel grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving and pressed closer. “Aren’t you going to kiss me goodbye again?”

Dean couldn’t help but grin. “This isn’t really goodbye though.” _Still_. “But you’re the boss.” 

He tangled a hand into Castiel’s soft dark hair and kissed him, slipping him the tongue when he opened so nicely for it. Castiel’s left arm winded around his back and Dean couldn’t help but think _yes this is it_ , this was what he’d been missing maybe even before Purgatory happened. Because he hadn’t been lying, he’d had other lovers and some he’d cared about so much it hurt but it had never been like this. So easy and warm and natural. So good that it made him want to never run away—or at least too far—when shit ultimately got complicated. When he wanted forever and the other person didn’t. But Castiel’s lips promised him a happy life as he nibbled at Dean’s mouth and combed his fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. Not an altogether easy one but a happy one.

It made Dean so reluctant to pull away but he finally did after one last flick of his tongue. “Stay inside.”

Castiel smoothed this thumb across his cheekbone. “Stay safe, Dean. You’re not invincible.”

_True but…_ “Hey no worries, man. There ain’t much that could keep me from coming back here.”

~+~

His thigh only throbbed moderately when he put too much strain on it and Castiel was thankful for it. The Wraith had been disgusting up close, like a rotting dead body left out in the sun for too long. One minute he’d been bending down for a bottle of Advil and the next he was on the ground, grappling with some type of spike that was aiming for his head. He remembered slamming the heel of his hand into its face which made it angry; it then stabbing him in the thigh to perhaps stun him. While it hurt like hell it gave him enough time to jerk out his knife and plunge it into the creature’s chest. It could have been just luck that the knife was silver.

However what swam around in his head more often than not were the horrible things he’d said to Dean after drifting back to consciousness. But Dean had not looked like _Dean_ then. He’d been just as disfigured and grotesque as any other momster they’d come across, eyes burning red and teeth sharp and jagged like razor wire. Castiel had honestly feared for his life in that moment and the words pouring out of his mouth had been fueled by emotion but true.

_“Don’t touch me you monster!”_

_“Freak!”_

_“I know what you want. You want to eat me and my family just like the rest of them.”_

_“I said don’t fucking touch me! Get your filthy nonhuman hands off me!”_

_“I’ll kill you! Ugly freak! I’ll kill you if it’s the last thing I do!”_

Even now he was ashamed. Of course Dean said he wasn’t hurt and that he understood it was the Wraith venom but Dean was an expert in monsters. He had to know _how_ the poison affected someone. How it altered their perception but also brought out things they were otherwise trying to keep hidden. It was still early in their reestablished relationship and the doubts and fears Castiel had were constantly dipping above the surface. Things he would have never said out loud however without the Wraith’s trickery. But maybe it was for the best since things had been less stressful from that point on.

Castiel realized trusting Dean was something he could not avoid, not that he wanted to. He wanted the opposite in fact and was happy all of his lingering fears had been put to rest. As far as he was concerned Dean was the same man who’d helped him on the road just stronger. More attentive. Less guarded now that his secrets were out in the open.

Pulling _his_ gun out of his bag, he checked the chamber for bullets and then placed it gently back inside on top of his clothes. The hope he’d once had for finding a safe house and settling down was now a thing of the past and something he didn’t even allow himself to think about anymore. He assumed he would be devastated and in the beginning he was but not now. With Dean by his side, teaching him how to shoot and being willing to bleed to keep them safe, Castiel knew they’d made their own safe house of sorts with the Impala as their home.

It may not have been the community he expected but it was more than he could have ever wished for.

The cabin was quiet without Dean’s fidgeting or low singing, something he seemed to do unconsciously. Claire and Inias were still napping, curled up like opposite bookends on the old sinking couch. He hoped that Dean was back before they woke up because he didn’t want them thinking they’d been abandoned. As usual with young children they’d accepted Dean’s phoenix side fairly quickly, shifting their trepidation to awe and curiosity. After snuggling with Dean on most nights and letting his warmth seep into his bones, listening to his steady heartbeat and knowing nothing would be able to lash out at them, he’d came to understand their way of reacting.

Besides none of them had time to be too betrayed; cooperation during an apocalypse was pretty much mandatory.

As for his personal relationship with Dean, well, it was good. And now he was able to look back in hindsight and see Dean’s surly comments to Bartholomew and his withdrawn nature for what it was, jealously and uneasiness.

_I don’t think we need to have a conversation about_ where we are _but perhaps it would help solidify things. Though I suppose the kisses could have done that too._

Because Dean had been so amazing with them Castiel wanted to help him find his brother. He didn’t talk about finding his mother with the same enthusiasm and he was reluctant to ask why since it was none of his business. But it was obvious Dean loved his little brother and wanted to know what had become of him. If he was safe. Castiel had no idea how they’d find anyone when cell phones weren’t an option but he was willing to look all the same. A part of him was very interested in meeting someone from Dean’s past, someone just like Dean. Hearing about his wife and daughter and how he’d lost them made Castiel’s heart clench tightly in his chest. Yes it had been many, many years but that sort of pain did not just evaporate. Though fighting for his life every day in Purgatory might have dimmed his sensitivity to it.

Castiel did not want to blow his own horn but being with him and the kids seemed to make Dean feel better. So they would just have to stick together from here on out.

He was just about to go into the kitchen to check the dingy cabinets for supplies when a knock on the front door startled him. Knowing it was too soon for Dean to be back, he grabbed his gun but remained otherwise quiet. He hadn’t heard anyone come up. Did they see the Impala and assumed someone lived here? Even so how could he believe them considering what was going on? Would a monster knock?

“Hello?” Came a muffled female voice. “Is anyone home? Please I—I need help.”

Castiel was silent.

“Hello?” She turned the doorknob from side to side. “ _Please!_ I—there was an attack at my camp and my—my friends are gone. I’m hurt.”

His conscious was yelling at him to go and help but his brain soothed those fears, reminding him that unfortunately people couldn’t be trusted anymore. There was a 50/50 chance that she was telling the truth and if she wasn’t it would be his ass on the line.

“I just—I need, _no!_ No don’t!” She pounded on the door so hard that the twins jerked away. “No! No!” Her voice trailed off into a garbled scream.

“Cassie…” Claire said warily. “Wh—what’s going on? Where’s Dean?”

“Take your brother and hide in the bedroom.”Castiel instructed in a hushed whisper. “Dean had to leave to get something for the car. Now go and don’t come out until I say so, okay?”

Her lower lip trembled but she did as requested, pulling a frightened Inias behind her. Castiel closed the bedroom door and grabbed his gun, slipping it behind him.

The front door to the cabin gave a shake before the knob was ripped completely off and it was pushed open. Standing in the doorway was a young woman in her late twenties with strawberry blonde hair wearing a burgundy tank top and tight black jeans. She looked so normal. So...human. However when she stepped over a pair of legs to come inside he knew she wasn’t the person that had been desperate to get in.

“Nice place you got here.” She said with a sharp smile. “I haven’t seen or felt wards in a long time. You must know your stuff.”

Castiel kept himself at a safe distance. “Who are you?”

She looked around. “You humans and your names. Okay you can call me April since it’s the name of the meat suit I borrowed.”

Castiel frowned. “What did you do to that woman?”

April dragged her fingers along the wall. “Hm? Oh I ate her. She and her friends had a campsite a few miles down the road. They were so sweet when I showed up, offered me food and water and a place to stay. She managed to escape the buffet while I was snacking on her boyfriend. I tracked her here and now I’m so glad I did.”

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up at the look in her green eyes. “You should leave, now. I have a friend on his way back and he will kill you if you’re here.”

She snorted. “Empty threats don’t scare me sweetheart. Besides if your boyfriend shows up I’ll just eat him too.”

_Stall her._ “So what are you? You’re too…put together to be a Wraith or a—a Wendigo.”

April blinked in surprised. “Ooh so you _do_ know your stuff! But you’re not a Hunter… I’m a Reaper.”

“A Reaper? As in the Grim Reaper?” He inquired slowly.

She grinned and bit her bottom lip. “Yeah. There are quite a few of us actually, and we all work for the big man. Death. Or I guess we did before someone opened the doors and let all the nightmares out.”

Castiel made sure to keep the couch between them, for all the good it would do. “I—I don’t understand.”

Sighing dramatically, she folded her arms over her shirt. He could now see that it was stained with blood. “Reapers report to Death but ever since some of us busted out of Purgatory, we’ve been doing whatever the hell we want. Mainly eating.” 

“And how are you able to get in here?”

“You don’t have the wards to keep my kind out.”

“How did you get out of Purgatory? I—I’ve never been able to figure that out.”

“Word on the street is some dumb little teenage asshole read from a book he shouldn’t have, turned himself into a key and then got himself jammed into the lock by one of our monster brothers on the outside.”

Was that really it? Was it really as simple as a few words said by accident to cause so much trouble? “Can it be reversed?”

April laughed. “Well if it could be do you really think anyone would admit it? We _like_ it here. If we play our cards right we’ll have an unlimited food source.”

Castiel did not see that happening. “Right.”

April purred. “You’re not alone here, are you? That’s good because I do so love dessert with my supper.”

Castiel yanked out his gun. “You won’t touch them or anyone else. I won’t let you.”

She pressed her lips together all _aww_. “It’s cute that you think you can stop me.” 

Before Castiel knew what was happening, she was throwing a hand out and some unseen force had him crashing into the wall, his gun spinning elsewhere. He groaned and hit the floor hard, blinking away a bout of double vision. He tried to lift up onto his hands and knees but his thigh gave a hard twinge so he started dragging himself across the floor, not sure where he was going because there was no where _to_ go.

A swift kick to the side stopped him in his tracks and toppled him onto his back. April straddled his legs next and held him down with one hand around his neck, using the other one to rip the collar of his t-shirt until his chest was exposed. “You are so attractive. It’s almost a shame that I have to kill you.”

Castiel punched her in the face and she chuckled, squeezing off his air. “Now is that any way to treat a lady?” She teased. “I bet you’re going to taste great. The good ones always taste better.”

Leaning forward, her jaw suddenly became unhinged as it elongated down almost to her lap. Her entire physique changed; the strawberry hair going solid white and her pretty face melting gray to look more like a disfigured old crone. She flickered between normal and green giving Castiel a good glimpse of the true creature underneath the pink flesh.

She sucked inward and Castiel felt it deep within his stomach. Something was being ripped out of him, something _extremely_ important and it was being taken so violently that his nose started to bleed and his limbs started to shake. A white light flared to life in beneath his ribs and he found that he couldn’t catch a breath no matter how hard he tried. With a jolt he realized she was stealing his soul. That a Reaper was attempting to _eat_ his soul.

Castiel tried to claw at April with trembling fingers but it didn’t even faze her. The pressure in his body got heavier, the glow spreading to his upper arms and neck. He gasped and looked around frantically for anything that could help him, feeling himself beginning to lose consciousness.

_She will go after Claire and Inias if I don’t do something! Dean will come back an—and we’ll all be dead!_

And then almost as if by some odd miracle a flash of silver caught his eye. There stuffed in a basket under a side table was a serrated hunting knife with a rusted handle. He didn’t even think; he just fumbled for it and wrapped his numb fingers around the hilt, plunging it into April’s chest with as much strength as he could muster. She screamed and the brightest white light he’d ever seen exploded out of her with so much power that it shook the windows. Seconds later she dropped to the side dead, eyes open and staring at nothing.

Air flooded back into Castiel’s body and he wheezed, coughing and sputtering with his cheek pressed to the dirty floor. He was battered and bruised but alive, and somewhere in the fogginess of his mind he was proud. Dean would be angry when he finally returned—when he learned they’d been attacked—but Castiel was proud of what he’d been able to accomplish on his own _and_ while injured.

_Maybe we could survive without Dean…but I have no need to find out._

Struggling over to the couch, he pulled down a tattered moth eaten blanket and spread it gingerly over April’s body. He said a quick prayer for the woman she had once been and hoped she’d found peace.

“Claire? Inias? You can come out now!” He called, voice deeper than usual. “Everything is okay.”

Two little heads peeped around the corner before they both descended on him, tiny arms hugging him tight. He gathered them close and kissed their cheeks. “Everything is okay,” he repeated. “We’re okay.”

For the first time in a long time he actually believed it.


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Dean’s bow legs carried him through the woods past hissing snakes and sprinting rabbits towards the highway, and all he could think about was Castiel and the twins. He hated the idea of leaving them to fend for themselves but without a hose or tape for the Impala they weren’t going anywhere for a long time. He tried to convince himself that they would be fine, out in a hidden fishing cabin as they were. Who would go looking for them? If any person came along that didn’t look right Castiel had a gun and he was a pretty good shot now. He could easily make them move along. And with the place being warded up the asshole no fanged son of a bitch would be able to get inside. Something that could get past his wards? Well it would have to be super old and while they were running around out there somewhere, he figured the odds of one popping up _the moment_ he wasn’t around were slim to nil.

Besides Castiel was a capable guy and he could handle himself when push came to shove. Sure he couldn’t burn dickheads with his hands but he was brave and willing to fight; that went a long way these days. Still the next time they had a lull he was going to suggest hand to hand training as well as with guns. He wanted to give him every chance just in case something happened to him.

Dean didn’t plan to die anytime soon—if ever—but he wasn’t stupid. In the forties he had way less to worry about what might gank him and that was with hunters roaming around. Now he was liable to get attacked by a spooked bear or worse. Back then he’d wanted to live because really who didn’t? But now it just seemed more important for him to stick around and not just because he had no idea where he’d go if he _actually_ died. He wondered if other supernatural creatures wondered the same thing. Well the ones with higher brain function anyway.

If he weren’t so cynical he’d say Heaven but that was kind of a crap shoot. You had to have a soul to go to Heaven and he was pretty sure he didn’t have one. At least not the right kind of one fit for eternal happiness.

Sighing, he smoothed his wrist across his forehead and listened to the sounds of his boots hitting the pavement. There were no cars but he didn’t know if that was normal or not. Maybe this road wasn’t highly traveled not even before but he sort of doubted it. Being a main highway and all.

_I don’t really see how humans are making it through all of this bullshit. But then again they’ve survived wars and stuff. The human spirit is pretty awesome when tested._

Dean turned his thoughts to the passing seasons and winter; how they would eventually need to find a place to bunker down when it got really cold. The car wouldn’t work anymore because it would take way too much gas to keep it on the road and running if they had to run the heater all of the time. Better to fortify a house or something and try their luck at a fireplace. Though he supposed they could keep the cabin in mind for when the leaves started to turn and just return when they needed to. It _was_ out of the way and given more time he could build a fence or something to keep unwanted visitors away.

_I’ll ask Cas about it._

Their “good-bye” kiss had been something else. Something to look forward to in the future. Having that sort of life again where there was something waiting for him—someone that cared about him—well it wasn’t this thing he’d ever thought he’d see again. Though to be honest Dean was just happy he _could_ still give a shit; that Purgatory hadn’t bit and clawed all of that out of him. Instead it had prepared him for… _this_. That was a miracle in and of itself because it could have went so differently. He could have lost himself, got out and painted the world around him red with the blood of others. It was so vivid on Earth; like seeing a tv show in Technicolor for the first time.

As he walked around a bend in the road the acrid smell of death caught his attention and he frowned as it burned his nostrils. He immediately rubbed at the end of his nose and cracked his knuckles, senses alert just in case something was about to jump out at him. However he didn’t hear anything rattling around in the bushes; even the birds were quiet. At first he figured it was just some poor dead thing rotting in the sun but a soft gasp from the uncut weeds caught his attention. His brain told him to ignore it but his curiosity got the best of him, so he rolled his shoulders and stepped carefully off the concrete until he was peering down into a deep ditch.

There laying amongst the litter and covered in dirt was a man probably in his mid-thirties. He was pale and sprawled on his back, dirty brown hair dipping into his weak eyes. His right foot was missing a shoe and his jeans were covered in holes as was his t-shirt. Blood was crusted to the side of his neck as flies buzzed around the nasty puss-filled looking wound that was most likely infected. He smelled like he’d already been dead for a few weeks.

_Where did this poor son of a bitch come from? And how did he end up all the way out here?_

Dean knew there was nothing he could do for him. He was tempted to just turn around and keep going so that he wouldn’t have to see the guy call out for help. However when the man noticed him he just stared for a moment before whispering, “Kill me.”

“Fuck.” He licked his lips. “You wanna repeat that, bud? I mean I’ll do you a solid but I wanna be sure.”

The man managed a tiny smile. “Please ki—kill me. It hurts. It all just hu—hurts so bad.”

Crouching down, Dean laid a hand to the man’s shoulder. “What’s your name?”

“Brad.” The man said slowly. “Brad Ross.”

Dean nodded. “This might hurt a bit Brad Ross.” Tightening his fingers, he used his powers to burn Brad from the inside out.

Brad’s eyes managed to widen, his mouth opening on a shocked shout but he was already gone before the sound could escape, dissolving into a pile of smoking ashes. Dean brushed his hand off on his jeans and continued walking.

Shit like that wasn’t hard and never had been. It was a mercy he would give to anyone who really needed it.

Not that he was an executioner or anything he just…when someone was in _real_ pain and they couldn’t be treated, it made more sense to help them end it if they asked for it There were no hospitals he could have taken Brad to and nothing at the cabin that would have saved his life. He would have just languished on in excruciating pain until nature took its course. At least now he was most likely in a better place.

He didn’t want to think about it but he wondered who Brad had been before Purgatory happened. Did he have a family? And where were they? Were they dead just like he was or waiting for him to come back? He hoped it was the first. He hated to think Brad had his own Castiel and kids sitting somewhere, checking the door and the time and wondering where he was. Though he decided if that were the case Brad would have floated him a clue and probably asked him to check in on them. Dean can’t say he would have honestly done it. He’d have _wanted_ to but, well, priorities and shit.

Like keeping his traveling companions safe and finding his brother. It was selfish to say he’d actively not want to help but he couldn’t have this hypothetical family wanting to tag along. And they couldn’t stay to protect them so… Yeah it was better Brad hadn’t mentioned anyone else. Though Dean wasn’t silly enough to think they’d never encounter more people that honestly needed their help. He just dreaded it. Hoped it was another situation like with Brad. Castiel would probably disapprove but he could shut his pie hole about it.

Dean would do whatever it took to keep _them_ safe, even if it meant bending the rules on what was right and moral.

Thankfully his morbid thoughts were cut short when the sun hitting the windshield of an old car caught his eye. He’d finally reached the junkyard. “About time. Place looked closer when we passed it in the Impala.” He quickened his steps until he was strolling past a tin mailbox and down the dirt path.

A two story house with peeling blue paint stood with an un-manicured front lawn. Behind it was a graveyard of old rusted vehicles missing doors, hoods and windows all stacked on top of one another. Spare parts littered the ground. There was a small old tire mountain next to farm equipment and a rickety shed with the tail end of a tow truck sticking out. The place smelled like motor oil and gasoline but it was better than decaying corpses so Dean counted himself lucky.

Squaring his shoulders he kept his eyes alert and continued around the side of the house, boots stepping on bits of cracked windshield and buried car mirrors. Finding a perfect replacement part would be tricky and he didn’t have time to search the whole place for an Impala, so he was going to make due with the first hose that was intact. It would only be a temporary fix but he wanted to get back to Castiel and the others as soon as he could. Next time he’d take them with him. At least then he could keep an eye on them while he looked for what he needed.

_Guess it wouldn’t hurt to get them and bring them here if the place is clear. They could wait it out while I gave the old a nice tune up._

_Though first I’d have to scope out the area and that could take a while._

With brows narrowed he stalked past a tilted blue pot-o-potty and glanced at the faded sign proclaiming this as a salvage yard rather than a junk yard. He didn’t really see the difference though. There was no order to the place; how had the guy who owned it found anything? Did he sell or buy? And was he still inside of the house behind the boarded up windows, holding court while the world went to shit? Of course if he was Dean couldn’t blame him. Probably seemed better than testing it out on the open roads.

There were so many wrecked and twisted cars that Dean didn’t know where to start looking so he just dived in. Lifted the hood on a scratched red Pontiac to find the entire engine missing before moving on to a silver Sedan with no headlights, the engine there but the fan belt having melted all over everything. He yanked the plastic off an SUV and blinked at the family of raccoons that snarled up at him for interrupting their sleep. Rolling his eyes, he rooted in the open trunk of an old Oldsmobile just because it’s near, tucking several good looking wrenches into his coat pockets.

_Shit._

Dean scratched the back of his neck and turned in a slow circle. He decided maybe looking for a car the same year as the Impala would give him better luck, so he picked a row and just starting checking out the makes and models, and license plates if they had one. He discovered batteries that didn’t look so bad, a pair of almost brand new jumper cables that he made a mental note to come back for, clean spark plugs and a shiny radiator cap. In a world with more time he’d basically pick each car clean for what _might_ be needed in the future but for now he settled on pocketing the small shit.

He was pushing up the hood of a Buick when something cracked behind him and he turned to see two almost familiar faces watching him warily.

_Well this is just great_. “Can I help you?”

The tall one in an old leather jacket and ripped jeans frowned, pushing strands of long black hair out of his eyes. “You’re Dean Winchester, aren’t cha?”

Dean shrugged nonchalantly. “Who wants to know?”

“I’m Lucian.” He replied slowly. “And this is Boris. We uh—we were in Purgatory together. I remember seeing you stab a werewolf in the mouth. Brutal shit, man.”

Dean smirked and folded his arms over his chest. “Is that so? Well he shouldn’t have mouthed off about things he didn’t know about.”

Boris who was stout and pale with frizzy brown hair grinned. “Happy to see getting kicked out of Purgatory didn’t mess up that pretty face of yours.”

Dean bristled as he finally remembered these jack holes. “Right. So tell me, what are two undead assholes like yourselves doing in a junk yard? Unless you’re looking for that family of raccoons in which case, check the SUV.”

Boris laughed. “Nah man we’re nesting here. Might not be prime real estate but it gets the job done.” He motioned to the house. “Our leader wants a word with you.”

Dean arched a brow. “Why would I want to talk to another fanger? We didn’t exactly get along—our kind that is.”

Lucian frowned. “He glimpsed you walk by and just wants to talk. Maybe he wants to know what you’re doing here.”

“I need a part for my car.” Dean told him. “And since this isn’t _his_ place I’m pretty sure I’m entitled to it.”

“It’s Gordon Walker. Our boss is Gordon Walker.” Lucian replied softly. “He says he just wants to talk.”

_Yeah and I’m a pretty princess._ “Lemme guess, if I say no you two gonna try to bring me in anyways? And then when you die, he’ll just send more yeah?” They glanced between one another and Dean sighed. He _could_ probably kill the entire nest but any he missed, any who ran would already have his scent and be able to track him wherever he went. “Fine. Lead the way assholes.”

They took him inside of the house through the front door and into what passed for a study, the carpet a flat dull beige to match the equally hideous furniture. Lounging on the sofa was Gordon Walker and he looked every bit the son of a bitch he had the last time Dean laid eyes on him. In Purgatory everyone should have been on equal monster footing but Gordon had always wanted more. He’d wanted factions where _some_ monsters were better than others, and Dean always thought that was bullshit. Vampires weren’t _better_ than werewolves and there was no reason to think they were. But Gordon had reasons and he wasn’t shy about letting them be known.

Needless to say Dean steered clear of him, not because he was scared—fuck that shit—but because he didn’t want the trouble. Endless fighting solved nothing. So he let Walker have his cliques and continued doing his own thing.

“Dean _freaking_ Winchester.” Gordon chuckled, smoothing a hand across his dark skinned chin. “What are the odds? Where you been keeping yourself?”

“Out of trouble.” Dean murmured. “What’s the reason you had your minions bring me in? I’m on the clock.”

Gordon tilted his head to the side. “Just wanted to have a word. I mean it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other. How you been doing?”

_God I hate small talk with morons._ “Oh just peachy. Been to the beach, getting sun and eating all the carbs I want. I hear that’s a thing now.”

Gordon snickered. “The outside world changed a lot since we were gone. Part of me wishes I could have seen it before the monsters started tearing everything up. But I suppose it’s only natural they would want to remake it in their image.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “All I see are a bunch of dumb asses with no self control.”

“You think that about me too, brother?” Came a very familiar voice.

Dean’s head jerked to the side and he blinked to find the only real friend he had in Purgatory standing in the doorway. Before showing up in Purgatory Benny Lafitte had been a pirate or something, stealing from ships and the like. Then he was turned but giving up his day job just seemed stupid so he and his friends had continued their plundering. For a long time as he told it until their Master decided he wanted Benny’s new girl more than he wanted Benny around. So he’d killed him and sent him on a one way trip to Purgatory.

When they first met Dean hadn’t trusted him for a long time but after a while Benny proved his loyalty. Said it was better to be friends with a fire starter than against. That staying sane and safe was in their best interests so why not work together? As weird as it sounded Benny became somewhat of a brother to him.

_So why the fuck is he here with this ass clown?_ “Benny.”

Benny grinned. “Long time no see Dean.” Even after decades he hadn’t lost his Cajun accent. “Glad you’re still in one piece.”

“You too.” Dean’s brows narrowed suspiciously. “Looking well fed.”

“It ain’t what you’re thinking, brother.” Benny sighed. “I’m still on the no humans diet.”

“He’s telling the truth.” Gordon mused unhappily. “Fool would rather raid abandoned hospitals and blood banks than just do what he’s made to do. But he’s a vampire so…I cut him some slack. Figure he’ll stop that nonsense in due time. When the hospitals go bare or the blood is bad.”

“Well I hope he proves you wrong.” Dean said. “If just to piss you off.”

Gordon laughed lowly. “You always were a dick like that. Thinking you’re better than everyone else.”

Dean squinted at him. “No that was your schtick. Crowning yourself King of the food chain. I got no desire to play favorites when really; we’re all just a bunch of creature features wearing people masks.”

Gordon hummed. “I’d say we’re all at the top of the food chain now. Once upon a time I would have been…upset at the way things turned out but I’ve cut my losses and fully embraced being a vampire. Makes things a lot easier. Don’t even miss the days when I used to be a Hunter.” 

As his attention was diverted by some lady in a short skirt and fishnet stockings, Dean drifted closer to where Benny stood. “You wanna tell me what the hell you’re doing here?” he questioned. “And with _him_ of all people?”

Benny shoved his hands into his pockets. “I found my girl. Woke up on the side of the road and her sweet smell hit me like a bomb to the face. Followed it two states until there she was, looking as beautiful as ever and damn surprised to see me. Our old Master was dead and the new one wasn’t so bad…took me in pretty quickly thanks to her. They were feeding on people but respected that I didn’t want to. Not gonna pretend that was easy because it wasn’t. Being back around so many people, hearing their blood pumping…only reason I probably didn’t go off is because Purgatory taught me self control.” A beat. “Anyway shit sort of hit the fan when all of the other things that were in dead zone started making the news. Panic broke out and sometime later Gordon and a few of his showed up. Killed our Master and took control of the nest for himself. Andrea’s got friends here so…”

Dean filled in the blanks. “You stuck around to make sure they would be okay. First time I’ve ever seen your loyalty as a fault.”

Benny snickered. “It really _is_ good to see you brother. Wish it was under better circumstances though. You been doing alright out there?”

Dean nodded. “For the most part. Seen some fucked up shit but it’s almost pretty normal considering.”

Benny leaned against the wall. “I know what you mean. All those times I was stealing blood I saw what was happening to those poor people out there. I honestly wanted to help but figured blending in was the better option. Didn’t want to get my head chopped off.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Now I’m more or less just trying to stay afloat and get Andrea off human blood.”

“Must be hard with Gordon pushing it. I’m assuming he does because he’s a dick like that.”

“He doesn’t push but he don’t exactly make it hard to get either. He sends the others out hunting at night and they bring back whoever they find. Keeps ‘em locked up here in the basement.”

The thought of innocent people directly below him needing help hit Dean hard in the stomach and his jaw tightened. He’d help if he could but he knew that was out of the question. Some causes were just lost.

“Dean.” Gordon clapped his hands together. “I know we’ve had our differences in the past but I don’t see why we can’t put them behind us. Start fresh now that we are both topside.”

Dean’s fingers curled into fists. In the beginning Gordon had hated everyone in Purgatory because he still saw himself as a Hunter. After it was clear he wasn’t going anywhere he threw himself into being a vampire but still wanted that hierarchy to make himself feel better. Wanted Dean on his side because he was powerful and when he rejected his offer, well that’s where their bad blood started. 

“Start fresh how? Join your band of merry vamps and help you hurt innocent people?” Dean inquired frankly. 

Gordon stood. “No I wouldn’t expect you to do that. You’d be more like my muscle. You could help keep the nest safe against other monsters and in return, have all the pretty little people to do with as you please. You might not eat them but we both know they have other uses.”

Dean didn’t hesitate to decline his offer. “No thanks. I just need a hose for my car and then I wanna get back on the road…so I can find my little brother.”

Gordon scowled. “What makes you think you’re gonna find him out here and after all this time? He could be _any_ where.”

_He’s not wrong._ “He could be but I’m willing to search for a while. He’d do the same for me.”

Gordon was not impressed. “Oh cause you Winchesters stick together huh? There you are still thinking you are better than everyone else. Must be that old world pedigree at having been born and not made.”

Ignoring him and not in the mood for a fight, Dean sneered and shook his head. “Screw you.” He made for the front door, ready to stop anyone that got in his way. “I’m outta this shit hole.”

“Hey boss. We uh—we found some dude and two brats not far from here.” One of Gordon’s goons said as he entered the room from the kitchen. “What should we do?”

Dean paused and Gordon responded, “Bring them in. More food is never a bad thing.”

_Fuck!_ “Rather greedy don’t you think? You don’t have to eat everything with a pulse.”

Gordon shrugged glibly. “We’ll store them away for later like the others. ‘Sides like I said, everyone isn’t for eating.”

Knowing that he had to get the situation under control before these ass heads went after Castiel—even if it meant Benny burned with them—he slowly started for the gun tucked in his pants when something hard slammed into the side of his head. He stumbled towards the couch and was driven to one knee, grunting when rusty manacles were clamped at his wrists. They burned and he gritted his teeth; of course it was fucking iron. 

Boris and Lucian hauled him to his feet, just as some bald guy with tattoos dragged a limping Castiel into the room through the kitchen door. The twins were ushered inside ahead of him, holding hands and looking scared. Not that he blamed them. He met Castiel’s gaze and tried to telepathically tell him not to worry, that everything was going to be okay. He didn’t have a plan but he damn sure was going to come up with one quick.

“Well now.” Gordon strolled over to Castiel and gave him a little sniff. “You two are on friendly terms with one another. But I guess it’s to be expected if you’re practically living together. Playing house in the middle of the apocalypse…You’ve got some balls on you, Winchester.”

Dean glared at him. “Let them go. Now.”

Gordon arched a brow. “Why should I? They’re just meat. Any good hunter knows you don’t release your prey just because it gives you the puppy dog eyes. If you’re so inclined to be charitable, you make its death quick.”

A gorgeous brunette appeared at Benny’s side with her lips pursed in despair. “This is wrong,” Benny said. “We got no beef with Dean and his.”

Apparently Gordon didn’t agree. “Maybe you don’t but I do. Of course none of this would be happening if Dean had just agreed to work for me. I’d have let your little pets go, Deano. Now…” His big hand gripped the back of Castiel’s head. “I’m gonna eat him while you watch and give the little ones to my _family_. Then maybe you’ll be a bit more compliant when you’ve got nothing else to live for.”

Gordon’s sharp, jagged fangs lowered as he opened his mouth wide and made a dive for Castiel’s neck. Benny lunged at him but was knocked into a bookcase by Baldy, sending several books raining to the floor. He managed to catch Dean’s eyes and at Dean’s nod, swung out with the heaviest book he could find. Baldy spun towards the large wooden desk and Benny darted across the room, grabbing Claire and Inias around the waist and sprinting through the front door like a bat out of hell with a couple of vamps hot on his tail.

Castiel gasped as Gordon’s nails dug into his throat when suddenly the gorgeous brunette—who had to be Andrea—was on Gordon’s back and ripping chunks of flesh out of his face. He released Castiel to claw at her, swerving this way and that to throw her off of him. Dean kicked Lucian’s leg out from under him and slammed his knee into Boris’ stomach, bodily shoving him into the tv.

“Cas run!” Dean shouted. Truthfully he probably wouldn’t have but the twins cried out for him and then he was gone, tumbling out of the front door and out of sight.

“Stupid bitch!” Gordon roared as he pitched Andrea through a glass window and out onto the porch. “I’ll deal with you later!”

Dean didn’t waste any time. He dropped to his knees and let the fire churning in his body consume him. Let it build up and flare red throughout his veins, crawling down his arms and up his neck almost like a sickness. His eyes started to glow and his clothes to smoke, his flesh so hot that it began to burn holes in the fabric. He could feel the iron cuffs trying to dampen his powers but he pushed through it; his heart beating so fast and so loud he could hear it pounding in his ears.

The back of his shirt burnt to shreds as his wings snapped out. They stretched across the room and singed the ugly wallpaper, burning two big holes in the wall. He trembled with the strain but kept pushing, watching as the plastic on the television bubbled and melted down into a gross looking pile of black sludge. Boris latched onto his shoulder, presumably to stop him and screamed in pain as fire raced up his arm reduced him to a mess of charred bones that jiggled on boney legs before dropping to the floor.

“Fuck you Winchester!” Gordon growled and picked up a fire poker. “Fuck you!”

He swung and Dean let go of the volcano rolling inside of him, yelling, the pressure in his chest feeling like it was going to break his ribs out through his skin. A shrieking high pitched wail filled the room and as Dean’s wings jerked behind him, he exploded like a fire ball, incinerating the entire house and everything in it; he vaguely heard Gordon and the other vampires scream. Wooden boards fell down around him, some hitting him but he hardly felt them at all. They burst into flames the moment they touched any part of him. It was all burning; the roof caving in, the walls shattering and the furniture liquefying. 

The floor gave way and Dean would have plummeted down into the basement had all of the debris not formed a platform for him fall over onto before sinking down into a scorched crater. Naked and blackened with soot he dizzily made out the dead vampires that had went after Benny and the twins, their heads separated from their bodies. Something glinted in Castiel’s hand and he realized through his fog that it was a machete.

As he started to lose consciousness the flames died down to be replaced by thick black smoke that swirled up towards the sky.

“Dean! Dean!” Castiel scrambled over sparking wood and broken cement to grab him under the arms and drag him out onto the cool dirt. “Hey, look at me. Dean, look at me!”

Dean blinked slowly; everything was growing dark around the edges. “Do—don’t touch—still hot.” He jangled the manacles and tried to tuck his wings behind him. He didn’t have the strength to put them away. “You’ll get burned.”

Castiel seized his sweating face between his shaking hands. “I don’t care. _What_ did you do? _How_ did you do that?”

Dean coughed. “Old phoenix trick my—my mom taught me.”

Castiel frowned. “Jesus you’re freezing! How is that possible?” Taking off his jacket, he draped it across Dean’s naked body. “What do I do, Dean? How do I help you?”

Dean smiled at him. “Benny will—he’ll make sure you’re safe. Bastard owes me one.”

“What?” Castiel gave him a shake. “Hey c’mon stay awake.”

“Tired.” Dean slurred. “Got…nothing left.”

Castiel stroked his hair. “You’ve got me. You’ve got Claire and Inias.”

That made Dean happy. “Like you guys. Could have—could have stayed with you forever.”

Castiel wet his lips and curled over him. “Then stay. We all want you to. We need you to.”

Dean looked at him the best he could and knew his next words to be one hundred percent true. “I need you too. Think I—I did from the beginning.”

“Is Dean okay?” Claire asked, her voice strained like she’d been crying. “We wanna see him!”

“Just a moment.” Castiel replied softly. “Damn it, Dean. What’s happening to him?”

“Iron keeps a phoenix locked up. This asshole just burned himself out to get around that.” Benny explained from somewhere off to the side. “Drained his battery.”

Overhead the sky got grayer and Dean realized he was going blind, his body locking down from the strain he’d put on it, eyes glazing over with a foggy film. He shifted as best he could and pressed his forehead to Castiel’s thigh. “You keep fighting, Cas. Out there in the wild, don’t let those assholes win.”

Castiel kissed him gently, lips lingering. “Dean, you need to take your own goddamn advice.”

Dean chuckled just as his teeth started to chatter. “W—w—would if ---I c—c—could.” With a sigh he closed his eyes. “See—fuck—see you on the ot—other side, Cas.”

There was nothing after that, at least not for Dean.


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

Fighting back to the land of the living was a gradual process for Dean, one he honestly didn’t think he’d be experiencing. But once his eyes finally registered the muted light shining through a window, consciousness returned slowly, as did the aches to his poor battered body. A headache throbbed hotly at the base of his skull and up around his temples. He felt chilly even with several blankets piled on top of him. His chest and muscles were sore but he forced out a low groan and turned his head to the side, the pillow he laid on smelling like dirt and dust.

Bringing a shaky hand up he dug the heel into his dry eyes and opened them, the ugly yellow wall paper of some type of room coming into view. He had no idea where he was or how he’d ended up there but he wasn’t tired down so he supposed that was a blessing in disguise. At least it meant Gordon and his assholes were dead and Castiel and the twins were probably safe.

_Cas._

Dean pushed aside his fatigue and attempted to sit up when a heavy hand fell to his shoulder and gently pushed him back down. “Hey hey, it’s okay. You’re okay,” a deep voice said. “Just relax.”

Rolling his head and thankful that the motion didn’t make it feel like his brains would spill out of his ears, Dean blinked at the hulking figure sitting beside his bed. “Sam?” he asked in shock. “Sam is—is that you?”

His little brother Sam Winchester grinned and tucked strands of his too long dark brown hair behind his ear. “Yeah it’s me. Small world huh?”

Dean reached out and clasped his shoulder, giving it a sturdy squeeze. He was actually here and he looked pretty good. Healthy. “You dick how did you find me? I’ve been looking for you since blowing out of Purgatory.”

Sam laughed. “Believe it or not I saw some of your messages. When things first got weird and more monsters started attacking people, I figured you had to be out as well if they were out. I’ve been looking for you too.”

Dean smiled and relaxed for a moment, his brain chanting over and over again _I found you, Sammy. I found you_. It had been a pipe dream at best; the idea of being reunited with his little brother and yet here he was. Having an actual conversation with him in the flesh. “Fuck. I can’t—” _Cas!_ “Wait. Where is—did you see a dude and his two kids? Where am I? Were they there when you found me? I gotta find them.”

He tried to get up again but Sam waved him back down. “Your friend is fine, Dean. He and his family are out in the motel lobby with my wife. He thought it best we catch up alone since it’s been such a long time and stuff.”

_Thank fuck for that._ “Good, that’s good.” A beat. “So…wife huh? Guess you’ve been busy while I’ve been gone.”

Sam ducked his head with a cute smile. “I guess.” Leaning back in his chair, he sighed. “After you were killed I—I went kinda crazy. I didn’t hurt people but I let the business go to shit. Finally gave it to Ezekiel and split. For a while I just sort of roamed around and tried to find a way to bring you back. I figured you had to be in Purgatory if it existed but the literature just wasn’t there. I _never_ stopped looking though—for a way to get you out. I want you to know that.”

Dean nodded. “It’s cool. I mean I never thought otherwise to be honest. If there was a way your giant egg head would’ve found it.”

Sam smoothed a hand across his face. “Yeah. So um, what was it like? If you don’t wanna talk about it you don’t have to. I’m just curious.”

Grunting, Dean propped himself up against the tattered headboard. “It was…after a while it was pure if you want me to be honest. All the fighting and blood and violence became normal. I managed to stay sane and not just kill because I could but more often than not I had to. Won’t lie and say I didn’t enjoy it cause I did. As fucked up as it sounds sometimes I get why we all ended up there. Deep down we’re all monsters.”

Sam frowned. “That’s not true. You were never a monster, not like the assholes that were going around ripping people a part. If that asshole Hunter had just _listened_ instead of shooting first and asking questions later he would have realized that.”

Dean shrugged helplessly. “It is what it is, Sammy. In the beginning I was pissed off but by now I’m more or less over it. Time moved differently in Purgatory so I’ve had, hell, I don’t know maybe millennia to make my peace with shit. And I’m free now so…whatever.”

“Wow Dean. This is a side of you I have never seen before.” Sam replied because he was a smart ass like that. “I feel like we’re one step away from having a real, genuine moment where we connect on a deeper level.”

“Shut up asshole.” Dean mused. “Now tell me about this wife of yours. She hot?”

“Nice.” Sam rolled his eyes playfully. “She’s beautiful but I could be biased. You know after Jessica died I didn’t think I would ever find anyone else I could connect with, not like her anyway. I think a part of me didn’t want to. And after you died I sort of drifted around and kept to myself… Tried to find mom to tell her what had happened but the mail I sent to her last known address came back unopened so…”

“She never showed up in Purgatory.” Dean glanced out the window. Their relationship with their mother wasn’t a bad one but as the years ticked along they lost contact with her. “Wherever she is she’s alive.”

Sam hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose we might run into her again one day though I’m not holding my breath. Anyway so uh, after years of traveling and looking for ways to get you back I finally put down roots in this small town just to have a place, ya know? Probably would have kept to myself the entire time but there was a ghoul issue and no one knew what the hell was going on so I stepped up to handle it before Hunters noticed. I didn’t want to get made or anything.” He fiddled with the simple gold ring on his finger. “So I’m stalking one through this cemetery when the freaking Sheriff shows up with a shotgun, gets tackled by the ghoul and ends up seeing me blow the thing’s head off.”

Dean snorted humorously. “You married a Sheriff? Why Sammy I had no idea you felt that way about me.”

Punching his brother in the arm, Sam flashed his infamous bitch face. “I forgot how much of a jerk you could be. Weird but I’ve missed it.” Waving a hand, he continued. “Yes she was a Sheriff before the shit hit the fan but personality wise you two are like night and day, thankfully. After the ghoul stuff she wanted to know what else was out there and…it had been _so long_ since I had anyone to really confide in so I told her. I think she was kinda lonely too. Her husband and son had died a few years earlier in a car accident and she’d thrown herself into work.”

Dean flexed his fingers as he felt the strength coming back albeit slowly. “I’m guessing she knows you’re not human.”

“Yeah. Once I was sure she wasn’t going to try to use that shotgun on me I told her. She took it surprisingly well.”

“What’s her name?”

“Jody. I think you’ll like her. She’s tough”

_I’m glad my little brother is happy. He deserves it._ “I’m sure I will. And…you guys got a kid?”

Sam’s face lit up. “Yeah and he’s…amazing. His name is Daniel and he is five years old. I—I don’t want to bring up bad memories for you but now I know how you felt when you had Emma all those years ago. There is just something…heart stopping about seeing this little person you made running around. I definitely want more. Not sure when that will happen now considering the hell that has broken lose.”

Dean picked at his knuckles. “Well, where there is a will there’s a way and all that bullshit.”

Tilting his head to the side, Sam thumbed towards the door. “So this Castiel… You guys _together_?”

Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, Dean felt his face twitch. Wasn’t that the million dollar question? “I dunno. Maybe? Heh you sound like Claire and Inias—always wanting to know if we’re boyfriends.”

Sam hunched his massive shoulders up and down. “He was freaking out over you when we drove up so if you’re worried he might not care, you’d be an idiot. But then again you were half dead and turning blue. I almost blew the vampire’s head off because I thought he’d attacked you.”

_Shit, I’d forgot about Benny._ “You didn’t though, right? That would be a shit way to thank Benny for helping me out here and in Purgatory.”

Sam’s lips thinned. “No. I don’t trust him though. He’s a vampire.”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “True but Benny is good people. He was basically the only friend I had in Purgatory. Watched my back no matter what even against his own kind. He helped save Cas and the twins today.”

“Yesterday.” Sam corrected. “You’ve been out for a while. Jesus Dean, I can’t believe you’d pull a stunt like that. Going nuclear? Yeah we can do it but we’re not _built_ for it. You could have died.”

“Quit clutching your bloomers Samantha, I’m fine.” Dean muttered though he was secretly enjoying his brother’s nagging. He’d gone too long without it. “You’d do the same for Jody and your kid I’m sure. I couldn’t let that asshole hurt them when I knew there was something I could do to stop it. With the iron cuffs on I didn’t have much of a choice. I got no regrets.”

“Time hasn’t mellowed you at all.” Sam said but there was no bite to his words. Getting up, he moved over to the bag sitting on the lone table in the room and pulled out a bottle of water and a banana. “Here. Get something in your stomach so that you don’t pass out again.”

Catching the items as they were tossed to him, Dean suddenly realized how thirsty he was. He ripped off the small white cap and started to chug the water; it was lukewarm but still delicious especially to his parched throat. “Shit that was good.”

Sam pointed at him. “Eat the fruit too. I know you were allergic to healthy food back in the day but it’s all we’ve got right now.”

Dean flipped him off. “I’m gonna eat it, damn. Have you always been this bossy?”

Sam nodded merrily. “Yup. You should get some more rest too.” He touched the wall. “This place is secure enough for now thanks to all of your wards. Castiel took me to the cabin and we got your car by the way. He said you’re attached to it. Not surprised.”

The laughter was there in Sam’s voice but Dean was too calm to care. “Hey you’ve seen her, she’s gorgeous. And car or not she’s been the safest home we’ve had for a long time. She’s helped me keep my family safe.”

Sam arched a brow. “Your family?”

Dean sniffed and peeled his banana. “Yup. You stick around and you’ll get to see how awesome they are.”

“Of course I’m sticking around.” Sam replied as if there were no other option, and there probably wasn’t. “I haven’t seen you in seventy-one years Dean. As far as I am concerned we’re gonna be joined at the hip for a while.”

Dean was totally okay with that however what he smirked out was, “Gonna make sex with your wife awkward as fuck but alright.”

Sam’s nostrils flared but he couldn’t hide his grin. “God you’re such a dick. But I’m okay with it because I’d rather have you mouthing off than not here at all.” A pause. “Jody might smack you upside the head though. Fair warning.”

Shoving the banana into his mouth and dramatically chewing, Dean said, “I’m sure I’ll win her over. I’ll use my considerable charm and pretty face. Never steered me wrong before.”

From his expression Sam appeared dubious. “That might work more on Daniel. He’s _extremely_ excited to meet his Uncle.”

“I can’t wait to meet him either. We’re gonna get along like a house on fire.”

_So much time lost. Fuck those Hunters._

While in Purgatory the abstract thoughts of _I wonder what Sam is doing_ held a certain weight that made him more homesick than depressed. Yet now realizing all of the things he’d missed about his brother’s life, well for the first time in ages Dean sort of wanted revenge. Which was stupid because the man that had killed him was probably dead by now either by some monster’s hand or the alcohol he was so fond of. Hunters in general tended to not live into their rocking chair years and really, the ass _had_ just been doing his job. He thought he’d been keeping the world safe from monsters. Unlike Rufus he hadn’t evolved to the point where he could figure out who wanted to eat humans and who wanted to live among them.

Besides he and Sam would live forever so they had time to catch up and get sick of each other. “Danny like us?”

“I think so.” Sam folded his arms across his chest. “It’s too early to tell since he’s half human but he runs kind of hot, doesn’t seem to get burned by fire. Honestly I was sort of hoping he would be human but now that every monster ever is walking the earth, I hope he isn’t. He’ll be able to take care of himself better if he isn’t.”

_True._ “You uh—you gonna turn Jody? Or try anyway?”

Sam’s face went contemplative. “I don’t know. I…Before Purgatory split open I had a regular job working with kilns because I could stand the heat better than anyone else. I helped this old man make vases and stuff. He didn’t pay a lot but it was enough to be comfortable with Jody’s salary. I’d go in early so that I could get off every day to be home in time to see Daniel from school and help him with his homework. It wasn’t glamorous but it was—fuck it was my life.” Frowning, he huffed. “And then we had to leave our home, leave our town and set out on the road having no idea where we’re going. I’ve had to kill things, Dean. I’ve had to keep assholes from stealing from us. I haven’t had time to think about anything beyond keeping my family safe.”

Dean could relate except he didn’t mind the killing. Not anymore. “Well now you got me to help you out so don’t worry. I’ve been killing dickheads every day since I landed in Purgatory. I’ll handle the dirty work while you play look out. It’ll be just like old times.”

“Hey.” Sam sat down on the foot of the bed. “I don’t mean I need you to be an enforcer or whatever. You know I can rise to the challenge if something threatens those I care about. I just mean it wasn’t my life and hadn’t been for years. I got used to normal. But I can burn out anything with fangs or claws.”

“You just don’t wanna hurt the people who’ve turned into douche bags.” Dean murmured and his brother nodded. “I get it. I don’t mind. When I first met Cas a couple of guys were roughing him up, stealing his shit and knocking him around. I didn’t kill them but I left them with a definite impression. I don’t want to hurt humans but my…moral compass isn’t what it used to be sometimes. And we gotta look out for ours.”

“I’m glad you’re here, Dean.” Sam hugged him before he could complain or jerk away. “I wouldn’t trade having you back for normal. We’ll make it somehow, I know we will.”

Dean patted his back. “That’s the spirit, Sammy. Now get off me. You’re crushing my banana.”

Sam chuckled and eased up. “Heh I’m going to go tell the others you’re fine and already busting my chops. Try to get another nap or something.

Letting out a loud yawn, Dean finished his food and dropped the peel onto the small bed side table. “Hey try to have something for me when I wake up besides fruit. I need meat.”

“Is that what you say to Castiel?”

“Fuck you!”

Sam’s laughter followed him out of the room.

Draining the last of his water, Dean glanced around the room before inching back down under the thin sheet. He’d been dressed in a simple pair of black boxers and he couldn’t help but wonder who’d done it. Not that he cared; modesty wasn’t something he put much stock in anymore. You kind of lost that particular hang up when you had to bathe in a river in the middle of the open woods. 

_I found Sam._

_Sam is here._

Seventy-one years plus the billion in Purgatory and they were finally together again, ripping each other like no time had passed at all. Dean wasn’t silly enough to think it would always be so easy but he would take the hard shit if it meant having his brother in his life again. He stepped out of the darkness a single man on a mission and now found himself facing the light with an entire extended family beside him. And that didn’t even bring into account Benny and his girl who he hoped were still around. He could make it on his own but now that he didn’t have to well…going back just seemed like bullshit.

So he needed to get strong—and fast—so he could pull his weight. As the oldest it was his job to take care of everyone else, even if they didn’t exactly need it.

But with the way the world was now how could they not?

~+~

Dean didn’t remember dozing off but when he opened his eyes again there was a body beside him that hadn’t been before, and he didn’t recall them coming in. Blinking, he rolled onto his left side to find Castiel stretched out and idly thumbing through an old magazine that had seen better days. Dean didn’t even attempt to hide his grin; he just snuggled close and threw an arm across Castiel’s waist. Castiel lifted his right arm and Dean ducked under it, pressing his face into Castiel’s side and inhaling.

Castiel smiled. “I apologize if I am not at my freshest.”

Dean rubbed his face against Castiel’s shirt. “Nah dude you smell awesome to me. Are you okay?”

Castiel tossed his magazine to the floor. “Am _I_ okay? For a moment there we thought we had lost you. Your lips and fingertips were blue and you were barely breathing. How I feel right now is of no consequence. How do _you_ feel?”

Shifting so that he could get a better look at Castiel, Dean opened his mouth to speak when his eyes fell on the ugly finger shaped bruises around Castiel’s throat. “Did Gordon do that to you? Son of a bitch if he wasn’t dead I’d bring him back to life and kill him all over again but slower.”

As his fingers brushed over them, Castiel shivered but didn’t pull away. “Actually these were done by a Reaper. After you left to find tape for the hose she forced herself into the cabin and attacked me. I killed her.”

Guilt swelled in Dean’s chest and he pulled himself up, briefly happy to find his body stronger but unable to really focus on it. “Fuck, Cas I’m so sorry. I should have never left you guys alone like that. If I hadn’t Gordon’s assholes wouldn’t have grabbed you and that Reaper wouldn’t have hurt you. I should have had wards for them too.” _She could have killed him. She could have killed the twins. And you would have returned to find their bodies._ “This is my fault.”

Castiel stared at him. “No it’s not. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen. And you had to find that part for your car or we would have been stuck at the cabin indefinitely. I don’t blame you, Dean. Not one bit.”

Dean blamed himself. “Still…I should have done more.”

Sighing, Castiel ran his fingers through Dean’s hair until it stuck up in the most adorable way. “I think you have done more than enough. You saved our lives yesterday.” There was exasperation to his words. “You could have—have _died._ You could have died naked in a scrap yard and I would have never seen you again. Did you ever stop to think how that would affect me and the twins? They _adore_ you Dean and they feel like they just got you back. I suppose I feel that way as well.”

Dean stared at him before focusing on one of the blankets. “If I can’t use what I am to save the people I care about, then what’s the point? I’ve had family die on me Cas and not be able to lift a finger. There was no way in hell I was going to let Gordon hurt you guys if I had breath in my body to stop it. I mean c’mon dude, that’s kind of a no brainer.”

“I understand.” Castiel said and it truthfully sounded like he did. “But I—”

Dean leaned forward and silenced him with a kiss, anchoring a hand to the back of his neck. He’d apologize—in a half assed way—if he had to for blowing out his fuse if that was what Castiel needed, but he’d do it again if necessary. That was just who Dean Winchester was and who he’d always been. He saved people with no real thought to his safety because he _knew_ he could take care of himself. He just had a hard time getting that others could as well.

Castiel tasted like apple juice and sugar but Dean didn’t mind. He wrapped his right arm around his waist and pulled him closer, flicking his tongue against his slightly dry lips until Castiel sighed and parted them. It was decidedly different and more heated than the previous kisses and Dean didn’t know if it was because he’d nearly died or just something that had been building for a while now. Maybe a mixture of the two. All he knew was that Castiel was kissing him back, a little wet and dirty and that it felt right.

“Dean,” Castiel breathed softly. “You need to rest.”

“Screw resting.” Dean grinned and slid his hands underneath Castiel’s gray t-shirt. “I feel great.”

“Your skin is still colder than usual.” Castiel mused as he smoothed a graceful hand over Dean’s pectorals and his dark tattoo.

“Well…” Dean began cheekily. “Warm me up.”

Castiel’s blue eyes darkened with heat but he didn’t move. “I…am not sure now is the best time…”

Dean brushed his thumb across Castiel’s cheek bone. “Monsters are roaming the streets. _Best time_ doesn’t exist anymore. I promise it won’t get weird this time.”

Chuckling, Castiel shook his head and made as if he was going to climb out of the bed, probably to stick to the _Dean needs rest_ rule but Dean was quicker. Even not one hundred percent he was faster than a human; easily grabbing Castiel and pinning him to the lumpy mattress by rolling on top of him. He winked and before Castiel could chastise him, ground his hips down in a sensual roll that made Castiel’s words stutter out completely.

He really only meant it to be a teasing asshole but Castiel’s legs fell open so nicely and his back arched so lovely that Dean felt his brain short circuit. He was foggy from exerting himself and not thinking clearly but was able to latch onto one singular thought; _this would feel a lot better naked._

“Cas…” He nuzzled Castiel’s throat and nibbled at his Adam’s apple, feeling him swallow thickly. “Get under the covers with me?”

It came out as a jittery question but Castiel nodded and after a little fumbling in which elbows knocked and they both laughed at how tangled up they were becoming, they slid easily under the dusty sheets. Dean rested on his knees so that Castiel could slip out of his clothes, revealing acres of smooth tanned skin and toned muscles. He had a runner’s body— _maybe?_ —his tattered clothes hiding a flat stomach, sharp hip bones and hard thighs. That night in the abandoned garage flashed before Dean’s eyes and he bit his bottom lip hard, fingers flexing with the need to touch and grab. He hadn’t been able to see much then and it had all been rushed but he remembered everything quite vividly. Had been pissed to think Bart would be getting that from then on.

Now naked, Castiel pushed his jeans off into the floor and blushed as Dean looked him over hungrily. He was already half hard, his cock seeming to twitch under Dean’s intense gaze. His big blue eyes trailed Dean’s tattoo and then lower, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips unconsciously at the sight of Dean’s dick standing proud amongst a thatch of dark hair.

Dean grinned. “See something you like?”

Castiel snorted. “Get down here already.” He grabbed Dean’s hip and pulled and Dean went without complaint.

He settled his body on top of Castiel’s, both of them groaning softly at the feeling of skin on skin and erections brushing. Dean couldn’t help but shiver from the body heat Castiel was giving off, his own greedily feeding on it. His lips found Castiel’s and he kissed him almost desperately, moaning into his mouth as Castiel latched onto his tongue and sucked. His hips had started to grind up of their own volition, little arcing movements that brushed his cock along Dean’s stomach over and over again, leaving a wet trail of pre come on his flushed skin.

“Fuck.” Castiel shuddered obviously enjoying the contact. “Dean.” 

Dean reached down and wrapped his hand around Castiel’s dick, giving it a few slow lazily strokes until he was wet and bucking against him. His head fell back to the flat pillow and his eyes closed as his mouth parted so that a low rocky whine could escape. He looked fucking gorgeous.

Ducking down under the covers, Dean wasted no time getting that pretty cock in his mouth. He felt suddenly urgent for more touching and just _more_. Castiel cried out and sunk slender fingers into his hair, giving a tight pull that made Dean’s scalp burn in a not unpleasant way. He hollowed out his cheeks and sucked, bobbing his head up and down, tracing the tip with his tongue on every up stroke. Castiel was making the most delicious sounds; thighs trembling with his other hand coming down to gently cradle Dean’s jaw.

It had been ages since Dean did anything with anyone, especially a man and he wanted this to be good for Castiel. He wanted to wipe thoughts of Gordon and that stupid Reaper right out of his head. He wanted him to know that there was still good shit in the world, that you could still find pleasure even in fucked up situations. And he wanted Castiel to know that he was…well that he was cared for.

“ _Dean_ …” Castiel moaned, his thrusting forward, sending him deeper into Dean’s hot mouth. “Dean st—stop, wait.”

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked and his voice was _wrecked_. “You can come in my mouth. I want you to.”

Castiel moaned again and latched onto his arm to tug. “I—I want, I want you to fuck me.”

Dean blinked. “What?” He pinched himself. “Cas I—fuck but we don’t have anything.” And then he was tossing the covers back and launching himself off the bed, nearly falling in his haste to check. “Shit, fuck.”

Castiel laughed and looked like a fucking wet dream come to life all sprawled out on the mattress, cock standing hard and dribbling onto his stomach. Total bed head and eyes nearly black. “Check the bathroom.”

Darting in, Dean rummaged under the sink and in the medicine cabinet, finding a small bottle of lotion. Would this work? Was this something they could use? “Lotion? Fuck it—it’ll do in a pinch I think. Better than gun oil.” Stumbling back to the bed, he hopped up with a big grin. “You sure? We could wait until…ya know.”

“I’m sure.” Castiel reached forward and gave Dean’s balls a light squeeze, making him choke out a gasp. “I want you, Dean.”

There wasn’t much talking after that, not much else to say except for whispers of more and please as Dean coated his fingers the best he could and worked one, and then two into Castiel’s tight hole. Castiel opened wonderfully for him, digging his nails into Dean’s back and urging him to thrust his fingers a little faster—he could take it. By the time Dean was up to three Castiel was humping his hand and on the verge of coming, chest stuttering out sexy little hiccup noises that went straight to Dean’s dick. He pulled back and slicked himself up before shoving a pillow under Castiel’s ass to tilt his hips up.

And then he pushed his way inside inch by glorious inch until he was buried deep inside of Castiel, surrounded by heat. It was enough to make him almost swallow his tongue.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Dean chanted with his face pressed to Castiel’s neck. The muscles in his back were shifting where his wings were itching to pop out. He hadn’t felt anything _this damn good_ in ages and it was almost too much. A prickle of sweat was already worming its way down the back of his neck, the once chill of his skin no longer a concern.

Castiel moved next; a tiny shift of his hips and Dean cursed, biting Castiel’s throat hard enough to leave a set of teeth marks. He’d regret it later to see them mingled with the ugly purpling bruises. Regret that he caused Castiel more pain but in the moment all he could think was _mine_. It was such a visceral reaction that the tiny thread of control he’d been holding onto snapped and his wings sprung forth, tips just hot enough to singe the ceiling.

“Dean.” Castiel sounded drunk and looked it, eyes glassy and hooded. His fingers brushed Dean’s feathers before Dean could stop him but he wasn’t burned. Dean was too out of it to question why and let Castiel grab a handful when it suited him.

He used his toes for balance and began to thrust, finding a fluid rhythm that let him drive in and out over and over again until he was lost in the motion. Castiel clung to him, wrapped strong legs around his waist and whimpered directly into his ear. Caught onto his tempo and mouthed at the hinge of his jaw until he was sure a mark would appear. And it was all so fucking awesome that Dean was scared he’d burn himself out again. He was willing though, fuck was he willing.

Neither was sure how long it lasted. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours; that was how good it felt, being immersed in someone else. Someone you cared about especially after so long of nothing but death and destruction.

Castiel came first untouched, hard enough that it probably rattled his bones, spurting wet and warm between them. He tightened up as he did and Dean’s movements faltered, his face screwing up in pleasure as his own orgasm was ripped out of him almost by surprise. He shook through it and groaned into the skin of Castiel’s neck; the world filed down to this moment and nothing else. It was enough to almost make him black out.

A few minutes later when he could actually feel his limbs, he slowly pulled out but lacked the energy to move. That seemed perfectly fine with Castiel who dragged his fingers through Dean’s wings and let him settle down comfortably on top of him, tangling their legs together.

“Am I crushing you?” Dean rasped.

“No you feel nice.” Castiel replied softly. “Though I think your wings are burning the floor.”

Dean grunted. “Sorry,” he slurred. “Hot all over.”

Castiel chuckled and kissed his forehead—his heart was pounding rapidly in his chest. “It’s okay. I—I like that I can touch them. That they don’t hurt me.”

The right one curved forward and brushed Castiel’s arm. “Never hurt you,” Dean mumbled and ignored the light smell of smoke. “Fuck Cas, you’re amazing. Was it—was it okay?”

Castiel lifted his face so that their eyes met. “It was perfect, Dean. Everything I had been waiting for.”

_Jesus_. Dean ducked his head. “Good, that’s good.” A beat. “I just…you know it had been a long time and, heh, thought maybe I had forgotten how.”

“Are you fishing for compliments, Dean?”

“Fuck you, dude.”

Castiel laughed. “Maybe later…when I can feel my legs.”

Dean grinned and bit his nipple. “Hell yeah.”

“Your brother and his wife are very nice.” Castiel said apropos of nothing after a few moments of silence had passed. “I meant to tell you earlier but you _distracted_ me. I was shocked when they drove up and he recognized you. Sad also because I—I thought you were dead and how cruel fate would be to reunite you that way. I’m happy things worked out differently.”

_Me too._ “I got a few more lives left in me.” Yawning loudly, Dean kissed Castiel’s chin. “I think this all could work out. Us and Sammy’s family traveling together. I mean he’s a phoenix too and having two supernatural bad asses with you is better than one. Keep in mind though I’m still the _most_ bad ass.”

“Oh of course.” Castiel mused happily. “Honestly even without your brother I would stick with you. I want to be wherever you are Dean and I know I speak for Claire and Inias as well.”

“We’ll find a place.” Dean said. “Somewhere we can put down roots and defend while living a regular life. I promise.”

“I believe you.” Castiel smiled at him and Dean felt his heart grow three sizes too big. “We’ll take care of each other.”

“I—damn it.” Before Castiel could ask what was wrong, Dean was rolling off of him and winding his winds back under his skin. He grabbed up his boxers and threw Castiel his. They’d just pulled them on and slunk under the sheets when the door opened and Claire and Inias ran in, stopping cold at the sight of them in bed together.

“Dean!” Claire looked unsure. “Are you okay? Cassie said you were sick.”

Dean handed Castiel his shirt, using his own to discreetly clean himself up. “Hey guys. It’s okay you can come closer. I uh—I was sick after getting rid of those bad guys but I’m all better now. Cas was just…cuddling me to keep me warm.”

Satisfied with his answer, both children lunged at the bed and crawled up onto it like little monkeys, hugging Dean tight with a hint of fear at what could have been. He hated the thought of them crying over him and worrying so he squeezed them until they giggled and pressed big dramatic kisses onto their cheeks. It was a bit presumptuous but he couldn’t help thinking of them as _his_ now too. But it made sense because Castiel was his so of course his family would be as well. He wanted all of them.

“We thought…” Inias pouted. “You were really hurt. We’re so glad you’re okay now!”

“It wasn’t so bad.” Dean ruffled his floppy brown hair. “Besides I had to keep you guys safe. I hope I didn’t scare you too much though.”

“No.” Inias shook his head. “We was brave just like you said to be. Benny said you’d be okay and you were!”

Claire nodded emphatically. “He’s a nice monster, isn’t he? Like you?”

Dean rested back to the headboard. “Yeah Benny is good people.”

Inias scratched at his slightly dirty cheek. “Your brother is tall! He’s like a giant! And—and Daniel is cool. He sat with us and shared his juice while we waited for you to get better.”

Claire smiled. “He said he might be a fe-on-nix but he doesn’t know yet. His mommy carries a gun.” And then… “Are you and Cassie boyfriends now?”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah. We are totally boyfriends now.”

The twins squealed happily and Castiel gave a gentle smile, letting his body slouch against Dean’s as his niece and nephew started up another round of conversation.

For a little while at least everyone was content.

~+~

Standing outside of the small lobby the next morning with a horrible tasting cup of coffee in his hand, Castiel rubbed a hand across his eyes and stretched. It had been decided they would get on the road later today; a small caravan of travelers just looking for a place to go. Idly he watched as Dean—surrounded by Daniel, Inias and Claire—made sure that the Impala was fixed because apparently he didn’t trust Sam’s judgment in the matter. It was more than amusing to see him teaching the children about proper car care, their little faces filled with curiosity and glee. Daniel was already smitten with his Uncle and it had only been a couple of hours since they’d met.

However Castiel could understand the feeling. Dean had a way of inserting himself into your life just the way you needed.

_I thought I had lost him the other day. He’d burned so bright and so hot—I thought I was watching the sun explode._

But Dean was okay now. Better than okay he supposed. Still he never wanted to go through that again. Never wanted a situation where Dean gladly tried to sacrifice himself to keep them safe. Now that Sam would be with them he hoped the chances of getting into that much danger never happened again. He needed Dean and he was not afraid to admit it.

His body was pleasantly sore and warm from their love making, a nice distraction from the stiffness of his neck. Honestly he hadn’t expected things to escalate so quickly with Dean but he had no regrets. Life was on an altogether different time table now and he wanted to experience all of it while he still could. With Dean. It just made sense…him and Dean. Perhaps it had from the very first moment they met. From the moment Dean decided he and his family were people he needed to protect.

People he _wanted_ to protect.

Castiel owed him so much and he liked the thought of returning the favor. Of keeping Dean safe and happy for as long as possible. If anyone deserved a good rest it was Dean.

Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he glanced down to the very last row of rooms where Benny and his girlfriend Andrea were just stepping out of. They weren’t like traditional vampires he’d read about except for the part about needing blood. They could withstand the sun and didn’t have a single set of fangs but a whole mouthful. Castiel found them a bit daunting to be around, especially Andrea who still had trouble with control issues but he supposed he trusted Benny a little. He could have attacked them in the time it took Sam to arrive but instead he’d been very supportive about Dean being fine.

However he might steer clear of Andrea until she had things together. She didn’t look at them like food, she was actually very polite and quiet though distant. He didn’t want to make things harder for her. Or for Benny.

“Would you like some more coffee?” Sam appeared in the lobby doorway and wiggled the pot at him, flashing a grin at Jody when she walked by and swatted him on the ass. “I know it’s shit but…it’s coffee. Not easy to come by these days.”

“No thanks.” Castiel snickered. “I’m still working on my first cup.”

Sam nodded and followed his gaze to where Dean was working. “You know I’m glad Dean wasn’t alone out here. I can’t even begin to imagine what Purgatory was like for him and I—I’m sure he’s messed up over it. Not that he would ever admit it out loud but you know. So I’m just glad you’ve been there for him. I’ve always felt being around humans has helped keep us more human and Dean hasn’t had that for _years_.” He sighed. “It could have gone either way but I think having you guys around reminded him of his humanity, such as it is.”

Castiel hummed. “Dean seems well adjusted but I know what you mean. However I can’t take all of the credit. I think Dean fought to not turn feral and by strength of will he succeeded. He is quite remarkable.”

Sam smiled. “Yeah he is. I can’t wait to get to know him again. And you too.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Castiel replied. “I hope we are all able to find some type of peace somewhere.”

Dean fist pumped when he got the hose repaired and then proceeded to give each child a high five. Sam snorted in amusement. “I hope so too. But there is one thing I know about Dean that never changes, and it’s his commitment to family. We might never find a nice house or neighborhood like we would have before Purgatory split open, but we’ll definitely be safe. Dean would settle for nothing less.”

Castiel knew that to be one hundred and ten percent true. “Then…we won’t either.”

“What are you two gossiping about?” Dean asked as he waltzed over. “How amazing I am?”

“Careful Dean or your ego might knock us both over.” Sam joked. “Does this mean we’re ready to get a move on though?”

“Yup.” Dean slung an arm around Castiel’s shoulder and pulled him close. “Let’s find us a new home.”


	10. Epilogue

Epilogue

_One Year Later_

After almost a week of being away Dean was so happy to be home. He dropped his overflowing bag the moment he stepped inside and tossed his coat onto the couch, crossing to make sure the fire in the fireplace was built up enough. It was winter and liable to snow but the inside of the house was nice and warm, melting the chill that had tried to follow him in. He didn’t get cold like regular people but after being outside or in the car for the past few days, even he could appreciate the crackling dancing flames. Stifling a yawn and wanting nothing more than to get a long nap in his own bed, he rubbed at his tired eyes and kicked off his boots. But first he had to find someone.

The sounds of dishes clinking lightly drew him towards the kitchen and he smiled at the sight of Castiel standing in front of the sink, idly drying a few plates and glasses with a ratty towel. He was dressed in one of Dean’s Henley’s and jeans, his feet encased in green socks. He looked effortlessly gorgeous and Dean had missed him terribly while away. But perhaps the sexiest of all was the gun strapped to his thigh in a leather holster—Dean’s holster. It was sort of a rule that Dean insisted upon especially when he was gone. Castiel was to be armed even when in the house because you never knew what could happen, and being prepared just made more sense. Now that Castiel was pretty aces at shooting he had no qualms about it.

Sighing contentedly, Dean eased up behind Castiel and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Hey you.”

Castiel grinned. “Hello Dean. How was your trip?”

Dean nuzzled his throat. “Boring. And now I’m sad you don’t seem very happy to see me.”

Putting down the glass he was drying, Castiel turned in his arms and hugged him. “Stop pouting, you know I missed you. I wish you didn’t have to leave at all but I figured giving you a guilt trip about it would just make things worse. And…” He kissed Dean’s chin. “I plan to show you how much I missed you later tonight.”

Dean growled playfully. “Sounds good to me. Seriously though, everything was okay?”

“Yes. Not a single incident. What about on your end?” Castiel inquired looking him over, probably for injuries. “How is it out there?”

 _Out there_ being the world beyond their borders where monsters still roamed free and fucked things up. After leaving the motel with Sam and his brood they wandered for a while, squatting in old houses and tents in the woods. It was easier though with Sam around to stand guard, Benny too however he always lingered on the fringe especially at night. But the point was that things were safer with more of them around to keep an eye out. Some assholes still tried shit sometimes because they were too dumb to know any better, but they were always dealt with. Severely depending on who was fettering out punishment.

Still they all realized they couldn’t live out of their vehicles forever and didn’t really want to.

So naturally they came up with a plan.

It sounded fairly simple at its core but executing it took patience and dedication. First they found a small town that had been barely populated up in Canada with wide fields and thick mountains at their backs. Then Dean and Sam—with Benny’s help—went about monster proofing the entire surrounding area in one big anti monster circle, digging the wards deep into the earth and sprinkling them with their own blood. They would probably have to be retouched every other day but that was okay as long as they worked. Next they created roadblocks with the abandoned cars and cleaned up any leftover corpses, burning them to ashes. Naturally securing the town exactly how they wanted it would take time but for the first week they focused on smaller issues and when nothing bad happened, when the wards were proven to be working, went about making it a real home.

The houses were sturdy and already stocked so it was just a matter of picking the ones they wanted. Dean and Sam of course chose two that were fairly close together, separated by big yards and a tiny beige fence with a sprawling tree already equipped with a tire swing. Benny took Andrea down near the border and raided the local hospital for blood though he mused he wasn’t above eating a cow either. Dean had never said aloud but he hadn’t trusted Andrea as far as he could have thrown her, and would have taken her head off if she ever tried anything. But she seemed to pick up on his true feelings and vowed to stay on the straight and narrow.

Anyway it then became a matter of _really_ settling in. Claire and Inias had their own rooms; the house Dean picked a square two story with three normal sized bedrooms and a tiny guest room. The living room was filled with knick knacks, comfy furniture and handmade throws. The kitchen had a sort of modern country feel about it, the counters pale green and the cabinets cream white. 

Afterwards their main task became going beyond the _borders_ to pick up supplies while a gun toting Jody and Castiel manned the fort with either Sam or Benny for back up. Dean figured he should be the one to predominately go on runs since as the oldest he had more power than Sam and Sam had only argued about it a few times before giving up. Now of course it wasn’t really an issue of who would stay behind to protect the town with so many more people around.

And wasn’t that a mind fuck?

So about a month after establishing themselves and being a real family, Dean left with Benny to find more gas for their generators and any other miscellaneous thing they might need. While trying to figure out how to tap a gas pump they ran into none other than a shotgun carrying Rufus Turner, Charlie Bradbury and her now girlfriend Glinda from the ill fated safe house in Arimo. Dean was happy to see Rufus had survived and that his chill attitude about some monsters hadn’t changed. Once it was clear Charlie and Glinda had no problems getting with the _not everything with fangs or glowing red eyes kill_ side of the story, Dean invited them back to Canada. That was kind of how it started.

Finding survivors on scouting missions was a thing sometimes and those that could play well with others were allowed to join them. Dean made it crystal clear he wasn’t human and if they tried to kill him, well, he let them be. And some did but thankfully lacked the weapon that would do any real damage. Not that getting shot didn’t hurt because it did but he usually just shook it off. Others—while squeamish—valued their life more and agreed to at least give it a try. Little by little their community started to expand.

He wasn’t sure how many people—human or otherwise—called the area home but it wasn’t some major number. It would probably never be up in the hundreds; if he had to guess he’d say thirty to forty. The creature features were docile or downright annoying in the case of Garth, his wife and their werewolf in-laws. He could stand a lot but Sunday night sing-a-longs were where he drew the line.

But on the rare occasion something tried to squeeze its way past their magic blockade to get a free meal, werewolf and Hunter alike joined forces to take it down. It was nice knowing they could all work together when push came to shove.

“It’s how it always is.” Dean finally said after a minute. “Victor and I took out a few assholes sniffing around the barrier on our way back. But we got what was needed and…I got you and the kids some presents.”

“Dean, you didn’t have to do that.” Castiel replied. Something he did each time Dean showed up with gifts. “You shouldn’t be risking your life for random things.”

Dean cupped his cheeks and kissed him deeply until they were both panting. “Not random,” he murmured. “Broke into a college and jacked some books I hope you like. Other stuff is toys and clothes.”

Castiel gazed up at him. “Thank you. I’m sure I’ll love all of it.”

Dean’s relationship with Castiel was one of the most treasured things in his life. He hadn’t broached the subject of perhaps one day making him like Dean but he thought about it sometimes. Late at night while watching Castiel sleep or when he seemed on the verge of a cold. Losing Lydia and Emma closed his heart off for a long time and he didn’t even want to think about what losing Castiel would do to him. He’d never been particularly greedy in his life—except when it came to food and good booze—but Castiel made him want to be selfish. Made him want to ask for things he’d otherwise never ask for.

_One day I’ll bring it up. When I’m not worried he’ll say no._

“So uh…” Clearing his throat, Dean grinned. “We got any of that pasta thing Jody made left or did our munchkins eat it all?” He liked Jody—she was a real firecracker and pretty perfect for Sam.

“I think there is some left in the fridge.” Castiel chuckled. “You’re back earlier than I expected and I haven’t even thought about what dinner will be.”

“Eh don’t worry about it. I’ll whip something up.” Dean smoothed his hands down to Castiel’s ass and squeezed. “Or we could skip dinner, pawn the kids off on Sam and spend the rest of the night in bed. It’s been a week since I’ve been inside you and I’m practically _dying_ from blue balls.”

Castiel pushed closer with a contented sigh. “While I would like nothing more than to spend the evening making love, I know the children have missed you and will want to play. So we’ll just have to wait until they are asleep.”

Dean pouted again but didn’t have time to dwell because the back door blew open and a series of tiny feet pounded down the hallway. Inias rounded the corner first in a thick winter coat and earmuffs, cheeks and nose red. His eyes lit up at the sight of Dean and he made a beeline for him, throwing himself into Dean’s arms the minute he bent down.

“Dean! You’re home!” Inias exclaimed hugging him tightly. “We really, really missed you! Are you okay? Did you see any bad things?”

Dean pressed a warm hand to his face. “I really, really missed you guys too. I brought you some cool stuff too that I’ll show you later.” He glanced up as Claire entered the room carrying an armful of what looked like just fabric though he could make out a mop of golden blonde hair under a knit cap. “There are my girls.” Dropping down to his knees, he let Inias continue hanging on like a monkey as Claire hurried over for her hug. “You all okay?”

“Yes!” She grinned snuggling close. “We was teaching Lily how to feed the chickens!”

Lily or the five month old currently chewing on the end of her purple scarf was—as far as he could tell—a fairy. At least she looked like a fairy with her odd colored green eyes and pointy little ears. He’d found her in an old warehouse carefully tucked behind some boxes, her mother’s lifeless body a few feet away. She’d been dirty and crying and easily came into his arms when he’d picked her up. He wasn’t sure but he figured humans must have done in her mom since a monster would have just finished her off as well. It was fucked up but some people just didn’t believe non-humans could be peaceful. Granted fairies weren’t the best companions but not all of them played tricks and did bad shit. Since leaving her alone wasn’t an option he’d brought her home and…that was that.

Luckily everyone pretty much fell in love with her on sight. Claire and Inias got a new cousin and him and Castiel got a daughter. She called them dada and papa respectively.

Her hand came up to grab his nose when he was close enough and she giggled.

“You’re all little blocks of ice.” Dean snorted and gave out three loud kisses to cold little faces. “Go get warm and then we’ll talk.”

As they jumped to do as he requested Castiel slid a hand along his lower back and hooked his chin over his shoulder. “Welcome home, Dean.”

Dean kissed the corner of his lips and reflected idly on the path of his life, how Purgatory merging with Earth ultimately turned out to be one of the best things to ever happen to him personally. For so long he’d been surrounded by death and now he was surrounded by family. And no matter where he went or what else happened he knew family made all the difference. Kept him sane in an insane world. He had fought for _so_ many years to not be the hunted and honestly thought after a while, that was all that mattered. But that had been a lie he’d told himself when there had been no hope.

Now he had his brother, his _Cas_ , his kids and a place to actually call home. And…if there was anything to fight for—to get his hands bloody for—it was this right here. This small slice of Heaven he’d been denied before yet somehow managed to find in the long run.

“It’s good to be back, Cas.” Dean whispered into the scruff of Castiel’s jaw. “It’s good to be back.”

The End


End file.
